Hi mick 1972
I am sorry to hear that you're going through difficult times. I can only try to imagine what it must be like for you.
I guess I am the last person to be pipping up as I too conceal to not burden others. As is, right now, I am at great despair and my loneliness is palatable.
I've been taught to not 'annoy' others or 'burden' them with your troubles. To keep your affairs private and to always soldier on regardless of the circumstances. It's a lesson and burden for me, I learnt all those years ago and can't shake, even at my own detriment.
For what my opinion is worth, I urge you to reach out and talk to a trusted friend, family member or seek professional help. Journals (if not already doing so) are also another way to further understanding yourself.
I would desperately appreciate if I had close friends to share with. As for loneliness in the home, it was very much a long part of my life to rattle around an empty house. Boredom brought with it too much time to think, which would sometimes bring about my Demons. I took up studies, attended lecturers, sort Professional help and found ways to occupy myself in between bouts of depression. I have my triumphs and for now, not so.
That fact you've reached out is wonderful. If by doing so, you've felt some comfort, try following through by reaching out to those you trust.
I wish you every success. Do you like pets?