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Topic: Marriage break down due to my mental health

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. mick 1972
    mick 1972 avatar
    2 posts
    21 November 2021
    Hi my marriage has broken down/over after 25 years married and together for 28 years due to my mental health severe depression and anxiety the part that i am not coping with is being alone as i have no family living close to me and only have a couple of close friends i hate coming home to a house that is empty every night after work and spending the weekends alone is making my mental health worse but i dont want to seem to be a burden on my close friends so i spend the majority of my time alone .i was wondering how other people cope in this situation
  2. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
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    Petal22 avatar
    1543 posts
    21 November 2021 in reply to mick 1972

    Hi mick 1972,

    Wellcome to our forums!

    Im sorry you are feeling this way.

    Have you every seeked professional help for your anxiety and depression?

    Im sorry you are spending time alone I understand this makes us feel worse.

    I suffered with severe anxiety OCD and when I found myself home alone I’d go to the shops just to around people and talk to people ( even if it was the people who worked there).

    Ive now recovered from the condition I went through thanks to the professional help I received.

    Im sure your close friends wouldn’t see you as a burden have you been able to talk to them about the way you are feeling?

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    21 November 2021 in reply to mick 1972

    Hi mick 1972

    I am sorry to hear that you're going through difficult times. I can only try to imagine what it must be like for you.

    I guess I am the last person to be pipping up as I too conceal to not burden others. As is, right now, I am at great despair and my loneliness is palatable.

    I've been taught to not 'annoy' others or 'burden' them with your troubles. To keep your affairs private and to always soldier on regardless of the circumstances. It's a lesson and burden for me, I learnt all those years ago and can't shake, even at my own detriment.

    For what my opinion is worth, I urge you to reach out and talk to a trusted friend, family member or seek professional help. Journals (if not already doing so) are also another way to further understanding yourself.

    I would desperately appreciate if I had close friends to share with. As for loneliness in the home, it was very much a long part of my life to rattle around an empty house. Boredom brought with it too much time to think, which would sometimes bring about my Demons. I took up studies, attended lecturers, sort Professional help and found ways to occupy myself in between bouts of depression. I have my triumphs and for now, not so.

    That fact you've reached out is wonderful. If by doing so, you've felt some comfort, try following through by reaching out to those you trust.

    I wish you every success. Do you like pets?

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Dadmeister
    Dadmeister avatar
    35 posts
    22 November 2021 in reply to Missing user
    Hey Mick, totally feel your pain mate. My marriage has broken down after 26 years and 31 years of knowing each other. We are separated under the one roof but I am craving to be on my own. I also have a few mental conditions including depression, anxiety, adhd and bipolar 2. Meds for the most part keep it in check and cognitive therapy has helped me immensely. There is one thing worse than being alone and it’s feeling alone in a house full of people. As much as I struggle socially, I push myself to meet new people or to catch up with mates when I can, I’m at the point where I have so many mates looking out for me and I am truly blessed, don’t be afraid to get some help and put yourself out there. I have met about 5 awesome people online just through TikTok lives and I’m 50. Good luck mate, things will get better. I still spend a lot of time crying but then I think about the future and that it will get better someday. Cheers Anthony
  5. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    15562 posts
    22 November 2021 in reply to mick 1972

    Hello Mick, it's an awful feeling being married for 25 years and then suddenly being separated for some particular reason and I'm sorry as it may be because of how you are feeling or the relationship may have caused you to begin to feel like this.

    My marriage was also 25 years and as much as I didn't want a divorce it was forced upon me, so our house had to be sold, and the reason I'm saying this is because the house we lived in, that had been renovated completely brought back too many memories and for me to move into another place, I had to start over again.

    It was new surroundings, new neighbours and a completely different area to once again reestablish myself, plus there were no recollections of us being together, yes it was difficult to begin this transaction but eventually, it paid off.

    If you stay where you are there will be too many memories that may keep you feeling like this, so if you are sure about what's going to happen, then perhaps sell the place.

    None of this will happen until you can have access to a psychologist.

    Geoff.

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