I was thinking to stop paying the mortgage and force her hand.
I don't think you have any other option other than to stop paying the mortgage. It is unlikely that you will recover the extra money you pay into the mortgage - get legal advice.
She is only doing it as apparently I stole her money from my tax
More than likely she has found a way to force the sell of the house. First she tried to bully you into selling the house. Then she threatened to get a court order to sell the house. Now she has stopped paying the mortgage.
I don't think this is about tax, this is about forcing the sale of the house.
I don't think so. Her actions are premeditated to force the sale of the sale of the house. She has finally found a way to get what she wants.
Can you actually ring bank and stall payments due to sale of house?
You can ring the bank at any time. If you intend to stop mortgage payment, the bank will need to know. The bank will work with you if you explain the situation and tell them that the house is going on the market.
The sale will happen after mediation.
Ideally, yes. Unfortunately, your wife is forcing the sale prior to mediation. Unless you decide to pay the full mortgage by yourself (not recommended), the house will have to sell prior to mediation; she has out-smarted the dispute resolution process to get what she wants.
What your wife does not realise is that the proceeds of sale will sit in a trust account until consent orders and/or a Binding Financial Agreement is finalised. In effect, you wife has also out-smarted herself. The mediation process will go ahead before or after the house is sold. Either way, the money will not be released until orders and BFA are finalised.
What I need to is ring up utilities and council rates to get a statement or my own login
Yes, the house is in both names. You can get a login in for council rates.
If the utilities are in your wife's name only - do nothing. She can approach you for your half of the utilities bill.
I know she purposely changed mediation days as she knows it's my after work meeting days and she knows I would want to miss those.
Your wife is not interested in mediation. The irony is, nothing can be settled until you have an agreement on property and parenting. Your wife's actions are illogical.
I will not succumb to her control.
This has been the problem from the very beginning. You wife, like mine, wants to control the process every step of the way.
Legal advice is required!