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Topic: Marriage over.

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Outofluck23
    Outofluck23 avatar
    1 posts
    9 October 2019
    After 4 years and one baby, and a tough year behind us, I sat my husband down to ask him to try harder or it was never going to work, his response "I don't want to try, it's over" I was so unhappy in our relationship (No intimacy, love affection or time together). So why am I feeling so horrible now? I am angry he was not willing to try, and I am sad for myself and now have 2 kids to 2 fathers and feel as though no one will ever love me again. We have to continue living together as I have no income and nowhere to go until I find a job. I spend my days barely holding it together until the kids go to bed so that I can crawl into bed too and break down and cry. I haven't eaten since he ended it, so 5 days now and the thought of food makes me sick, I'm not sleeping well either. I feel absolutely devastated even though I was unhappy in the relationship, I really wanted to try and make it work, I tried so hard and feel like he didn't try at all. How do I make it through the next weeks having to share a house with this man who seems completely unaffected by the relationship ending?
  2. OuterEastMcC
    OuterEastMcC avatar
    1 posts
    9 October 2019 in reply to Outofluck23
    The end of a 4 year relationship would be very painful particularly when a child has been born from that relationship. It takes time to accept that it's over and feelings of loss etc certainly can make you physically ill so be kind to yourself and enjoy your two children.
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Betternow
    Betternow avatar
    14 posts
    10 October 2019 in reply to Outofluck23

    Dear Outofluck 23

    The suddenness of the ending has left you stunned. I am so sorry this happened to you. It is very natural to feel sad and angry. You say nobody will ever love you again. Get rid of that thought, that’s the sadness talking.
    You don’t provide much information on your circumstances. Do you have family or friends that could offer temporary accommodation? Are you planning to see a solicitor to put some structure into your separation support ?
    Have you seen a health professional to discuss your feelings, sleeplessness etc?
    Sometimes taking practical action can help you feel a little better emotionally.

    Anyway, do keep replying to these pages if you need others to offer you advice and moral support. Good luck.

  4. Once bitten, twice shy
    Once bitten, twice shy avatar
    2 posts
    14 October 2019 in reply to Outofluck23
    Hi Outofluck.

    I feel like I'm reading my own story through you. After 18 years in a relationship and 2 children, my partner decided to leave as he said he didn't live me amymore. We got back together after about 3 months and were together another 2 years, but just today I have discovered that he is cheating on me. So all I can think now is here we go again on this rollercoaster of emotions. I can't sleep, can't eat and feel so lonely. It is really hard to stay strong for the kids sometimes when all you want to do is give up. I too am dealing with the stone faced emotionless partner. I offered a change to work through it... again... but was rejected. I have asked him to stay a few days to help with the kids as they have to go through all this again but I am really struggling with this. Especially as he is sneaking off in bedrooms to call the other woman. While I cannot offer any words of wisdom, I do have a little experience from the last time. It is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions and it is so hard, but one thing you will not realise is that you are way stronger than you could ever imagine in situations like these. And as much as I hate people saying it to me, time heals all wounds... how long it takes, I cannot answer. But just know that everything you are experiencing is normal and there are others out there who can truly relate. Please take care of yourself... our beautiful babies need us... But don't be afraid to fall every now and again x
  5. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    3284 posts
    14 October 2019 in reply to Outofluck23

    Hello Outofluck, I'm sorry to hear of the situation you're in and to live with your husband who doesn't want to participate in the marriage, makes life rather difficult, so the sooner you can separate the better you'll be, although there are financial matters that needed to be sorted out, whether you have someone to help you do this might help.

    If you are 'legally separated' even living in the same house then you are entitled to Centrelink payments and by clicking 'https://www.humanservices.gov.au › individuals › forms' just copy and paste this in your search bar, there will be forms to fill out or you can book an appointment with DHS (department of human services).

    Let us know if you have any questions.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

     

  6. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    473 posts
    14 October 2019 in reply to OuterEastMcC

    Hello outofluck

    welcome to the forum and welldone for making your first post.

    This forum is full of supportive people as you can tell from the helpful replies.

    Outereast welcome to the forum and well done for using your first post to help another person.

    Once bitten twice shy thanks for helping another poster who has a similar experience.

    If you want you can start your own thread and get support.

    Quirky

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