How incredibly frustrating and disappointing for you, facing such a challenge in your relationship. The fact that you're so focused on his wellbeing is an obvious indication of what a thoughtful, compassionate and caring person you are. You're such an amazing gift in his life.
Sometimes it's definitely frustrating when we can see how things are playing out in someone's life where they can't. In this case, the goal may be to become a 'teacher' of higher consciousness. You don't tell a person what to do, you simply lead or teach them to question, for themselves. You'd be helping your partner develop a skill. A couple of scenarios:
- You're partner is quite down when you decide to suggest doing something together to raise his spirits. He becomes excited by the thought. His mother then says 'Oh, no, you can't go out. I need you to clean the house for me. He decides to please her rather than taking care of his own mental health. He stays down
- A variation on that scenario...You say to him 'I want you to question why you don't want to feel excited'. He may say 'Mum really needs me to clean the house'. Your response 'Can you choose excitement for the next 3 hours and then clean the house? Can you raise yourself to the challenge of feeling excitement for 3 hours?' If he was to say 'But she needs me to do it now'. You could question 'Why won't she wait? Why won't she want you to raise yourself to excitement, given the chance? Is she impatient?'
So, you see, all you would have done is ask questions. Such questions lead him to question both her behaviour and his own. He may even be left to think 'Yeah, she is pretty impatient. I've never realised until now'. While you see a lot of questionable behaviour playing out, he may simply not see it as questionable because, for him, it's normal (he's been living with it for so long).
One of our most super natural abilities as kids is questioning everything. Three years olds do it all the time. Typically, we're told (by adults) 'Stop questioning me, just do as you're told!', 'Why do you have to question everything? You're being difficult. Just stop it' or something of that nature. We stop questioning what naturally should be questioned which is a shame because through questioning we learn to reason. If you can reconnect your partner with this natural ability, it may be a life changer for him. It'll definitely challenge his mum.
Through the super natural ability of questioning, we raise our self-esteem.