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Topic: My younger brother has gone to jail, and I'm struggling to hold it together

  1. Petal22
    Valued Contributor
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    Petal22 avatar
    607 posts
    11 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    Hi Nameless 1,

    I wish you and your family all the best for the court case…

    I think it all comes down to your son, he needs to decide within himself if he wants to change and how he wants to do this…

    if he stays in jail he needs to decide how he will better himself while in there and when he’s out of jail how he will better himself on the outside….. it’s him and him only that can really decide to live a better life for himself and those around him..

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Evie15
    Evie15 avatar
    4 posts
    14 July 2021

    Hello all,

    I'm so sorry for the late reply. I totally forgot about this post amidst a very busy end of the university semester.

    Thank you Leth for your reply and support. It has been a long couple of months, supporting my brother while still dealing with his case. It has been a long, waiting game with court cases being adjourned twice, a month apart. I forgot who wrote about this similar experience- but yes, it's a long, long waiting game. My brother seems like he is doing okay and better since I last replied. He has also been playing different sports and exercising in the gym daily. He has also been attending workshops and courses and has picked up a job in cleaning so he can earn extra cash to buy food and to talk to us. It's so nice to know that he is staying busy and looking after and focusing on bettering himself.

    I've also made sure to send him emails through emailaprisoner.com. I recommend doing this for those who are also in the same boat as me. It's a great way to communicate and be able to send photos for him to keep and reply back to.

    It's been hard because I haven't been able to visit him since before the recent lockdown in Vic. Is that the same as for your brother and son?

    And as for myself, I'm doing a lot better. Things seem a little clearer, and I'm making sure to focus on exercising, reading, doing activities with my partner, working and aiming towards graduating at the end of this year. I'm hoping that he'll be able to come to my graduation. I do have my days, but when I do I make sure to acknowledge them, allow them to be there and to nurture myself as I would on days that i'm feeling good. Therapy has really helped me to deal with the process of it all.

    Sending my love to you all, and praying that it all works out. And thank you all for the support. It has really made me feel a bit better about the situation- knowing that we are going through similar feelings and occurrences.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    16 July 2021 in reply to Evie15

    Hi Evie15 and everyone

    Wonderful replies!! Great to hear from everyone.

    I also wrote about cases being adjourned a few times. With COVID it has put huge strain on the legal system and having to do everything via video links and calls has made talking with lawyers very hard and for the prisoner to keep up to date with what is going on. If you have read my posts since I joined in June, my son has been trying to do the same thing with gym and courses and work while he was waiting for court.
    We too have emailed and though he doesn’t reply to those we know he knows we care. He finds it hard to talk to us by phone too, though has been ringing more as it got closer to the court case when he would find out if he had more time to serve or not. The lawyer hoped for a CCO and release and our son put his hopes on that , but the magistrate decided on a few more months and parole. Our son was disappointed as he wanted to come home now. We would like him home but we just wanted, that either way, he would get help for his issues whatever the conditions of his release, and that he was ready to make the changes and be committed to putting in the effort . I’m not sure which is better, but the lawyer said on parole there are things he will have to do to. I know either way our son will be challenged.
    I’m not sure how many days are accrued as benefit days or emergency or something like that …days that take time off the sentence because of COVID? we were told about that and our son wasn’t sure. I’m hoping that he can get access to a few more transitional courses as well as keep doing his work and other course and gym.
    I hope that his disappointment won’t make him stop doing those things that were helping. For us, the it if extra time will go quickly but for him probably slower. As you said Evie15, doing those other things gives them a sense of purpose and having achieved something in a day. . Much better than just sitting around.
    COVID lockdowns over the last year and a bit have been hard for visiting
    . Our lawyer tried to get us a link for the court case but one was se t so we didn’t even get to be there with him in court which we are very sad about.

    We have found similar benefits with activities and exercising and counselling . This forum has been so valuable in encouraging me. Reading back over the posts from last few years has helped so much and don’t feel so alone in this anymore.

    Do please keep posting Evie15 we can support one another.

    Nameless 1

  4. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    18 July 2021 in reply to Evie15

    Hi Evie15, Petal 22 Borderline, Leth,
    Well I think the focus on all the events of this last week is taking its toll.
    I’m irritable and grumpy and. not sleeping well. I was worried about son if he came home, and now I am worrried he is not for a little while yet as I don’t how he will deal with the change from remand to sentence and getting parole. I know what to say to myself to work through this as it is how I battled before, but the emotions are a little raw and it is easier to give in to them.
    Made worse that my gym is closed due to lockdown . Though I can and do exercise at home I liked the trainer and her positivity towards the work I am putting in.
    I usually garden and walk but it has been very wet here for most of the time. Can’t see my grandson due to lockdown so that lovely distraction is gone. I will doing some online work which will keep me busy with music and composing snd the kids are entertaining g … and we still have our counselling session. My husband and I have been a bit niggly with each other too which isn’t normal so we did discuss that today. We are not going to do all the good work we have done to cope and get on with our life. Wonderfully though I have had heaps of calls from people I haven’t heard from for a while, and as long as they don’t prod past the general “ how is your son doing”I will be fine.
    Most know about the PTSD and know not to ask too much about my sons issues apart from knowing he is struggling but getting help but living away from home, has some work and study and likes going to the gym. They don’t need yo know where he is doing all that. He doesn’t want us to say and we won’t. Only our counsellor and ministers from church and one very close friend of his does. COVID makes that easier and he is at the age that lots of young adults live out and don’t see family much.
    Life can certainly be challenging!!
    All we can do is let it make us stronger, and use it to have more understanding. and help others struggling.
    I need to find out about his parole .. we will hear from the lawyer too..:but just needing a few days to deal with everything.
    Lets hope he is of the same mentality and as you said Petal22 that he will start making the change so that he can better himself while inside ready for outside too.
    Hoping all is well with you Evie 15

    Any comments on anything about parole appreciated too Borderline .

    Nameless 1

  5. Guest_7403
    Guest_7403 avatar
    353 posts
    18 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    Its okay to have down days and be cranky....its very tiring being mentally strong for others and is expected to be off at tines.

    To be honest....most prisoners prefer sentenced jails over remand. They are more settled, fewer incidents and usually more things to do etc

    Parole has a few factors considered, type of crime, risk of re-offending, bed availability across the state etc.

    In terms of jail...he needs to complete programs recommended by the courts, stay incident free, attend work and build rapport with officers.

    Officers have input into granting parole. I'm not saying he needs to be a goodie two shoes...we look for the basics....goes to his cell when directed, stands quietly for count, respectful in his communications with all staff.

    Its really not that hard.

    The best crooks are the ones we don't know...because if we don't know you Its because you're just doing your time and not causing issues so not on the radar.

    Take care of yourself....keep up with your home exercise...each day moves closer to freedom

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Petal22
    Valued Contributor
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    Petal22 avatar
    607 posts
    18 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    Hi Nameless1,

    I understand it must be difficult for you, really not knowing what is happening yet…… it is a tiring emotional journey…….. it really is……. One thing to remember is you can’t control what is happening….. you can just have faith that every thing will work out in time in the way it should…. Just try to relax yourself by doing something that you enjoy 😊 no gym use your exercise time outside that you have to get out for that restricted time….. keep busy even if it’s something in the house you can do…….

    Sorry your self and your husband have been a bit niggly that’s understandable though there would be stress there…… just make sure you both look after each other 😊

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    18 July 2021 in reply to Petal22

    Hi Petal22

    Thanks for the suggestions and for you positive thoughts.
    Thankyou

    Nameless1

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Petal22
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    Petal22 avatar
    607 posts
    19 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1
    ❤️
    1 person found this helpful
  9. Petal22
    Valued Contributor
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    Petal22 avatar
    607 posts
    19 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    Just another thing I wanted to add……. I understand the worry and emotions I really do but try to use your energy more to believe rather than worry …… to believe that everything will work out and to know that you, your husband and son will get through this…….

    That’s nice you have had calls and I totally respect and understand that you don’t want to tell everyone your situation……. That’s ok! You know the people you can trust and be supported from….. follow your gut we all know deep down what’s right for us ❤️

    1 person found this helpful
  10. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    19 July 2021 in reply to Petal22

    Hi Petal22

    Worry and anxiety is very draining!!! In the early days we struggled so much. We do work on believing we will get through this. I agree that is much better than sitting and worrying. It makes things worse . We have at times become frozen with the fear of the outcome and it certainly paralyses you from doing anything or helping anyone else. Our minister encourages that too and we try . Some days just get hard but usually not on the same day so we can pull the other one out of it… good music helps too!!
    we have not told people as well because sometimes for some it is too much of a burden for them to bear and for others they can become judgemental and hurtful in their comments… I heard that from others. I almost told a very good friend but when I started with mentioning mental health issues she suddenly turned it all back on me .. I went no further and decided not to tell anyone else

    Thanks for helping us to see the positive. It is good to hear that today!!

    Nameless1

  11. Guest_7403
    Guest_7403 avatar
    353 posts
    19 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    Hi nameless.

    I did reply to you about parole...I think you missed it.....wanted you to know I haven't ignored you.

    take care

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Petal22
    Valued Contributor
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    Petal22 avatar
    607 posts
    20 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    Good morning Nameless 1,

    That’s ok….

    I understand anxiety it is very draining…… I had severe anxiety in my life time I went through it twice but am now on the other side of it….. I totally understand about being paralysed with fear…. and sometimes not being able to function……..

    Have you learned any strategies for your anxiety? Meditation is really good! Have you ever tried it? Mindfulness is great too…..

    I’m sorry your friend reacted the way they did when you tried to open up that must have hurt…. Especially being a good friend I understand you not going further in the conversation…… there are people who do understand so just keep talking to those people…..

    I know people are judgemental …..when I’m confronted with that I just tell myself myself and that person are on different levels and that’s ok…… it helps me to just let it go……

    Have a lovely day today, enjoy your time with your husband 😊

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    20 July 2021 in reply to Guest_7403

    Hi Borderline,

    Thankyou I have read that now . It was very helpful to know. When we spoke to our son said where he was he heard it is hard to get your minimum sentence even though you meet the requirements . Didn’t say why he thought that… except that’s what he had heard, so was feeling a bit down about how much more time he would be there. I heard something from the lawyer about the days that could also be deducted from his sentence due to the impact of Covid lockdown etc. I tried looking up information on this but there wasn’t anything much about this, except something went through parliament which it, so I am guessing it is something between corrections and the prisoner to decide.
    I am sure you must be busy with your work, so I know you haven’t ignored me.
    Thanks afain

    Nameless1

  14. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    20 July 2021 in reply to Petal22

    Hi Petal22

    You a have encouraged us to try a few things. My husband and I have favourite YouTube things we follow which are good and a few favourite TV shows. Mindfulness through Listening to music in a relaxing place, and prayer are very beneficial along with our interests and hobbies. Sometimes we want noise and people sometimes we just want quiet and solitude . Sometimes we want to do something active and other times something restful. We are trying to work through what helps us the most and share how we feel rather than bottle it up and put on a happy face to each other .
    My friend who was judgemental is someone who I have known for 32 years but we are very different in how we think through things and our opinions. Normally that’s fine but not for this. I know if she ever finds out she will be offended I didn’t tell her .. so it is hard. My gut feeling says no … no one else needs to know than who we have told. I even worry what his siblings will say as he didn’t want us to tell them. They may have guessed but he has distanced himself from them for awhile and didn’t come to family functions after a few unpleasant gatherings when he first had his PTSD . When we said he wasn’t living at home any more and needed space and moved away they weren’t surprised ..,it wasn’t any different as he never contacted them or answered calls from them except occasionally before anyway. Very sad . We never imagined all this.

    Thanks for your helpful ideas and taking time to reply

    Nameless 1

  15. Guest_7403
    Guest_7403 avatar
    353 posts
    20 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    The emergency management days are auto calculated when his sentence comes through.

    But it is usually a handful of days....and i mean a handful of days.

    1 person found this helpful
  16. Petal22
    Valued Contributor
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    Petal22 avatar
    607 posts
    20 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    Hi Namesless1,

    Im glad I have encouraged you to try a few things….

    It sounds like yourself and your husband have already got some great things in place….

    I understand it would be hard with your friend but you know what’s best..

    I understand with the siblings……. If he asked you not to tell them then I understand your decision not to…… you respect his decision and that’s between yourself, your husband and son……

    The siblings maybe didn’t really understand what your son was going Through with his PTSD …….. maybe they couldn’t really understand him and his actions so they couldn’t support him in a compassionate way…… at the time…..

    I think it takes a life changing event in some ones life for them to become more conscious……… when this happens it gives us a deeper understanding of life it leads us to LOVE, Compassion and Forgiveness …… maybe in the future the siblings can learn to accept your son for the way he is now and try to understand and support him on his life journey….. ( hopefully in the future the siblings can form a stronger relationship)..

    No one can foresee the future……. But I believe our struggles are here to teach us something so we can grow and become stronger 😊

    Thanks, I’m happy to reply to you..

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    22 July 2021 in reply to Guest_7403

    Hi Borderline.
    Thanks for that, We were hoping to hear from our son but nothing now from him in over a week. We received letters addressed to our son from fines Victoria then the magistrate court. We were very surprised . They gave him the longer sentence and the fines so why didn’t they know that he isn't at home to see these and pay them . They aren’t our fines to pay and we can’t fill them out … but if he doesn’t pay them he might get sent to jail!!! Oh he is already there!! It’s amusing in a sad way. Rang the lawyer and he will deal with them he saidand advise out son. I read a few different ways they can dealt with but not sure what they will do. Not up to us sirely!! It’s not clear what help they get with finances in jail or gave access to. Is thete some help with outstanding payments and bills whilst in jail?

    I have been reading information on sentencing, about parole and reading the “corrections” pages on parole etc and any other areas that give good advice on relevant info.
    So much more to
    learn!!!
    Thsnks for taking the time to reply!!
    Nameless1

  18. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    22 July 2021 in reply to Petal22

    Hi Petal22

    thanks again for your encouragement We definitely agree with your comments about changes and growth … yes …more Love compassions and forgiveness towards others.We are grateful for what we have learnt and experienced and how we can in turn help others…. Just the situation is so hard and sad some days it is hard to see that. It could be far worse and we need to take each new day and give it purpose If what we learn can help some one else, then that is important. He and others in the family need our strength, not weakness or complaints, but it is nice to have this forum to express some of those feelings that get bottled up.

    His siblings weren’t living at home so they didn’t see all the PTSD on a daily basis, but did see some of his bad days. I pray for the rebuilding of all these broken relationships !!

    Thanks again

    Nameless1

  19. Guest_7403
    Guest_7403 avatar
    353 posts
    22 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    Good question about the sheriff fines and I know the answer.

    Once a person has been sentenced there's a form they can complete.....called calling in your warrants.

    so basically they can pay the fines by doing jail time....I believe it's around $200 per day jail spent.

    So if he's got $2k in fines....he could opt to do an additional 10 days jail to clear the fines.....10 days is nothing in the scheme of things....I suggest he does this.

    If he's been moved prisons, it can take a few days for them to set his phones and finances up....so sit tight and he'll reach out when they're set up.

    Phones are disconnected before they move prisons so they cannot contact family to say I'm leaving today.....its for security reasons. So don't stress.....he's just going through the transfer process.

    1 person found this helpful
  20. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    22 July 2021 in reply to Guest_7403

    Hi Borderline

    Thanks fir the information

    Domes it usually get sent to their home address when they are in prison or do they get to see a copy too or told that by the prison when they are given paperwork? As they don’t have access to bank accounts don’t expect us to pay for it do they?

    I wasn’t sure what the options were they were offered.

    We have written to him just to encourage him not to be disheartened and to keep busy and keep working at the things he was doing and to do as many other courses programmes as he could. We told him we were proud at the effort he was putting in to making positive steps to being prepared for release and hope he continues to learn as many good things as possible that will help him .. new skills for work, and interests in spare tome.
    We weren’t sure how much to say about missing him … we usually don’t dwell on that after someone mentioned that wears a bit thin after a while.
    Thanks for listening and answering my questions

    Nameless1

  21. Petal22
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    Petal22 avatar
    607 posts
    22 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    Hi Namesless1,

    Thats ok….. I totally understand it is a hard situation to be in… and yes sad…..

    I think it’s sad for some people in these situations because I think it took some type of pain they were feeling to then turn to some sort of alternative addiction to try to mask the pain and then in turn from that it has affected their brain in some way and have ended up in prison……. It’s really sad because the brain itself has illnesses or is affected by addiction and it can make some people act or do things they normally wouldn’t do if they were ok to begin with…… it is just sad but hopefully your son can turn his life around and rebuild…. 🙏 it is possible…

    ok, I understand what you are saying about the siblings hopefully one day they can try to understand your son and help him with his life journey in some way….. I hope their relationship can be re built.

    Yes the forums are great for being able to talk to people who understand…….

    I hope your son is doing ok…..

    😊

    1 person found this helpful
  22. Guest_7403
    Guest_7403 avatar
    353 posts
    23 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    They have to fill the form in to have them sent to them in prison.

    Its not your responsibility to pay them. Next time you speak to him, tell him to talk to the unit staff about calling in his warrants

    Has he made contact from new jail yet?

    1 person found this helpful
  23. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    23 July 2021 in reply to Guest_7403

    Hi Borderline

    Thanks for the reply . The lawyer has booked a call to speak to him and he was still where he was at the time he booked. I will have to wait till he rings which he hasn’t done yet .

    Your summary of his situation is perfect. As you said before, PTSD loss and trauma doesn’t have to end up in doing things that land you in prison, but sone skewed thinking of the damaged brain makes them think it is okay , that it will cover and fix the pain and there is nothing wrong with it. He wanted the people that caused his PTSD to see how much he was suffering but didn’t see how self destructive that was. His activity to cover the loss and pain gave him a sense of purpose even if it was illegal.
    He has been removed from that for almost a year and hopefully his thinking and feeling has changed with the clarity he must now feel. He hasn’t been sick the whole time he has been in remand and his body is fitter and healthier from exercises so that must help , and he has regular work and study that he stopped and didn’t have at the time he was arrested.
    He is very bright and used to have a good job . Worked hard to earn money and when all that went , and his girlfriend too, he let his dreams go too.
    Hopefully he is making new positive plans and that the time has brought some good changes even though prison might be hard . Hopefully he can get some more help too before he comes home with the courses and programmes available to him .

    Thanks again

    Nameless1

  24. Petal22
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    607 posts
    23 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1

    I understand completely the situation……… I have seen in some one else the same path….. it is a really sad situation….. but yes hopefully your son has more clarity now ……. I think having a good routine helps and sticking to work , exercise and study which will give him purpose….

    Yes hopefully your son has made some clear positive changes while he has been in prison 🙏 your past NEVER has to define your future!

    ❤️

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Evie15
    Evie15 avatar
    4 posts
    23 July 2021

    Hello all,

    Nameless1 your situation sounds very, very similar to my own brother's sentencing and experience. My Mum lives in a small country town and has also decided not to tell any of her friends because she knows how country people tend to tell others and word gets around. The plan is that once my brother is out, he will move to the town and find work so Mum doesn't want others to know- therefore, the chances of my brother getting a job is more likely. I know she sometimes finds it hard, especially at the beginning, she wouldn't go out for drinks or spend time with her friends. I'm sorry that your friend said those hurtful things to you.

    The final court hearing is next week, and as we are getting closer, and closer I have noticed my anxiety and stress levels are increasing. Yesterday my Mum told me that the barrister thinks it doesn't look good re- sentencing time. Feeling all sorts of emotions today- trying my best to stay positive, but I also don't want to get my hopes up and be upset (which sounds like it is going to be very likely). I know that the mandatory sentence is 3 years for what he did, but I just can't help but hope that they may lower it? Somedays I still can't believe that I might not be able to see my little brother out of prison in 3 years.

    And guest7403...thank you for informing us all on what the prison system is like. I'll make sure to highlight those points about parole and his behaviour towards his officers in our next Zoom call. Also, does anyone know if the judge will read the references and referrals that the lawyers use to help the case? And do they consider how he has been behaving in custody and the time spent in there? I think my family and I wrote good reference letters, so I really hope they take it all into account when sentencing him.

    1 person found this helpful
  26. Evie15
    Evie15 avatar
    4 posts
    23 July 2021

    - Continued from the previous post due to word limit.

    The letters I receive and the phone calls I have with my brother, make it sound like he has really improved. He has been attending meetings about drug and alcohol use, and courses so I hope that if he does come out soon, that he will take those lessons on board. And I think it's good to remind them to be thinking about making those positive changes for when they get out but, as you said Nameless1, I could imagine it would be hard to do so in a prison environment.

    And Nameless1, in regards to the alcohol and drugs etc in your son's room from an earlier post...my Mum and I threw everything in the bin. Anything to do with drugs, alcohol or smoking were all thrown out so he doesn't have the chance to relapse when he does eventually come out. All of the questions you wrote in regards to life out of prison and the prison system are very similar to the questions I tend to be constantly asking myself.

    I think I need to start practising meditating again, and making sure I get my daily walks in but as you said, it's quite hard in this weather. Perfect weather to sit on the couch, watch a movie or read a book.

    Sending love and light to you all.
    Evie15

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5196 posts
    23 July 2021 in reply to Nameless1
    Thank you for posting, it's really good to see community members finding shared experience and offering support, especially in this difficult context. As this community shows, you are not alone, and your sharing is valuable to people going through similar situations.   Please know that we're here for support at any time, on 1300 22 4636.  Kind regards,  Sophie M
    1 person found this helpful
  28. Guest_7403
    Guest_7403 avatar
    353 posts
    23 July 2021 in reply to Evie15

    I think the only real weight on sentencing is from impact statements.

    3 years may be the minimum, but judges have been issuing lower sentences for early guilty pleas and the current conditions in prisons due to covid and the backlog of cases currently waiting to be heard.

    Theres no rule book that directly says the sentence will be X. This much I've learnt.

    1 person found this helpful
  29. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    23 July 2021 in reply to Petal22

    Hi Petal22

    Sorry to hear about the other person you know of .
    The past will certainly make the future more difficult fir my son if he lets it drag him down …in potentially finding jobs for one… as you need to have a good attitude for people to give you a go. It is hard as it is particularly with COVID but as you said never let it define you. Though I think people (hopefully) are also more aware of giving people a chance due to the difficult times.
    I believe there is about job interviews and writing a regime in the courses available at the prison ???? and hopefully parole officers will guide him in this direction and then it will be up to him to go looking!! He hopefully will be more organised at least as he didn’t have a good routine !!

    Thanks again.

    Nameless1

  30. Nameless1
    Nameless1 avatar
    69 posts
    24 July 2021 in reply to Evie15

    Hi Evie15,

    I can totally relate to the mixed feelings you have before the court case, and uncertainty about it all. It all depends on the magistrate !! All you can do is plan for both. The magistrate might be lenient or give less time as Borderline or he might still want to give a general deterrence .
    Our lawyer said the magistrate commented on the reports and doctors notes and references and reports on behaviour and any work etc they do in remand and had read everything, and the references etc helped in reducing the sentence and setting in place how to get the best help for him when he is released.
    Your brother would also have time already served taken off from whatever he was sentenced plus a minimum time with parole?
    We did a big clean up of the room of after ge left. That was really hard going through things but had to be done.
    Please tr your mum I am thinking of you both as you head towards the court hearing. It’s weird being the other side of the hearing and not having him home yet … as I said before he didn’t get the CCO that was asked for , but hoping we all will be better prepared .
    All we can do as you said is wait and live them by writing and talking with when
    they ring .

    Just keep busy so you don’t sit and dwell on the hearing, keep busy and plan done good Covid safe activities like phone Zoom calls with friends , nice take away lunches , good books music snd movies. Things that stop the worry a bit fir a while. Let us know how you go.
    Nameless1

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