I feel like there is something wrong with me, like I might be broken, or missing a part?
I had my first child in July 2019 and I think I may be suffering with Post-natal depression (if it’s still called that after the baby is a year old)
In the months that followed birth I was crippled with anxiety and bouts of depression, I didn’t seek help (I was too anxious) and eventually things calmed down and I began to settle in to my new life.
However, recently things have gotten bad again. I’m so quick to anger, over the smallest of things, I’m irritable, I feel so incredibly low and weighed down? I cry often, and not just a few tears, full breakdowns, I have no motivation, no focus and feel so flat. I’m constantly exhausted and drained.
I’m truely starting to hate myself and how I look, I try not to look at myself anymore and I avoid getting any new clothes because I don’t think anything will look nice on me. I feel like a big fat toad.
I have thought about ending my life, but I do know that deep down that’s not what I want. I have thought about running away, and often.
I don’t feel like I’m a worthy mum. I absolutely love and adore my child, so please know that they are safe.
what hurts me the most I think is that no one notices how much I’m struggling. My husband doesn’t see it, my mum doesn’t and my friends don’t either, I feel like I’m in so much pain and no one can tell.
I know I need to get help, but I’m so scared.
I just want to be the best me, so I can raise my child well, I don’t want my struggles to effect them.