How are you, good I Hope? Thank you for your reply and for my wish of a month full of joyous times and calm... I wish I could say I have had my fill of both these things, unfortunately it’s not the case.
This month was our 7 years together anniversary , he didn’t remember and I spitefully reminded him 4 days later.., he decided that we celebrate that anniversary along with my birthday by going to a fancy French restaurant.... all I can think of in my mind is how the heck did I get to this point??? How on earth am I going to sit opposite him in a restaurant with a fake smile on my face??? I am living a lie and leading him on...
People who know us, know that he has a very weird dry sense of humor which he does show at home as well, they look at quiet me and say well you married him!!!! We rarely go out, we have no friends other than a couple of neighbors and 2 other people we used to work with, I love talking to other people as I feel human and can be myself until he butts in to the story that I may be telling, it’s as if he wants me all to himself?!
I recently lost 20kgs as I mentioned before, I went shopping and I can now fit into a size 12..., yay me!!! The first thing he said was “ oh, you’re going to get plenty of looks in the tight top and jeans you’re wearing , guys will be thinking, gee , I bet she’s good in bed” and of course if I try and rebuke him, he’ll say he’s just joking!!!!
It’s been over a year since I slept in our bed, due to night sweats ( Perimenopause) and the fact him touching me makes me feel physically ill.. I sleep in our lounge and here I get time on my own. This is my life, sad but true.
I fully agree with you, I too apologize even if I am not at fault, it’s just easier to do rather that deal with the outburst.
I truly feel like I am in limbo. I want to say I have had enough but and I am leaving but not sure how to tell him... any ideas?
PS: sorry for rambling on.