Thank you for sharing with us on the forum, it's never easy to be vulnerable so I hope that you can find some great support here.
It sounds as though you are stuck between a rock and a hard place and that is difficult in itself. I can't imagine how incredibly hard it would be to then have to be surrounded by individuals/situations which have things that you yearn for.
I guess now is a crucial time to have a think about the standards that you have for yourself. There is nothing wrong with having to reevaluate your life, especially if it's causing you distress. What needs do you have right now that are going unmet? What are some ways in which you can go about getting these needs met? What are your dealbreakers? What things are within your control that you can change? These are loaded questions and definitely not easy ones to have to answer, but they encourage introspection and a deep sense of reflection. If you do not want to harbour resentment and you crave that connectedness/family that you see in others, what lengths would you AND your partner go to to ensure that this is achieved? Do these match up? As hard as it is, you should never have to make peace with something that you aren't happy doing. You deserve a life that is filled with love and abundance in any form that you see fit.
It's great to hear that you are doing things for yourself like book club and doing things for your relationship. Do you have any interests or hobbies that you can take up to meet new people or to do with some of your friends? I understand its hard because your husband does shift work but is there anyway that you can potentially set up a date night/ritual with your husband to enjoy each others company?
I am really wishing you all the best in this!