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Topic: Separating with wife, but 5 year old is getting upset now.

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Npf1120
    Npf1120 avatar
    8 posts
    3 August 2020

    Hi guys,

    I posted a few weeks ago about separating from my wife, although it has been amicable, my wife has just told me that our 5 and a half year old is upset that he doesn’t want me to move out (which is happening this Friday).

    ive included him in everything in the new place and he really likes it, But is there any tips on making it as easy as possible for him? Him and I have a really active time together and he will miss that when I’m not around.

    I am setting up the iPad to FaceTime him every night and I’m thinking I might pick them up from school mid week to take them home. I’ve also got a 2 and a half year old that doesn’t really know what’s happening.
    if anyone knows how to make this better for my precious boys I’d really appreciate it.

    cheers

  2. Emmen
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Emmen avatar
    224 posts
    3 August 2020 in reply to Npf1120

    Hello Npf1120,

    My heart breaks for your young son. Being five and a half, he's in this tough place where he knows what's going on, but he still wouldn't be able to process it easily. Separation is almost always difficult for children. Their lives are turned upside down in a way they can't fully grasp.

    I can see you're doing everything you can to ensure you're still fully in his life. But I wonder if he truly understands that. Wouldn't it help if you could have a chat with him and reassure him that moving out doesn't mean he'll never see you again? It could help if you reminded him that you'll FaceTime him every night and pick him up after school. Depending on the agreements you've had with your wife, it may also help to reassure him that he can live with you again over a weekend or something (depending on the arrangement you have with your wife). I can see how much you love your boys, and it's important they know it too through your words and actions.

    I'm linking you to a resource that I think may help: https://www.familyrelationships.gov.au/parenting/services-children.

    Take care,
    M

  3. Npf1120
    Npf1120 avatar
    8 posts
    3 August 2020 in reply to Emmen

    At first he was quite excited to have 2 houses to go to. But as the day comes closer to me leaving I think he’s worried.
    i re assure him every day that I love him and that he will see me all the time.
    3-4 days a week.
    amd I’ll FaceTime him. I’ll look at that site and see if I can find some resources.

    thanks so much.

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