The problem is that when one is already in such a situation, its like a stick of dynamite all set to go, with a very short fuse :). The soft & silky solutions that are often proposed, would seldom work, as the frustration level will bubble through at the first time that one sees that one's plans are not having the desired effect. I tried many "get back on track" plans that failed. They failed because my frustration shone through, but i did also have some major successes too. For example, i made up my mind that i was going to end the marriage & that is something you need to decide: "if this continues as is, what would i be prepared to risk". And i sat my wife down & was able with a clear mind, to speak with planned notes & bullet points in my head. One of the things i said was : "Well if the roles were reversed, & you had a high sex drive & I had none, how would you feel about that?" Her answer was "Well I suppose i would also feel pretty angry & dejected" Getting the other person to be in your shoes, is a very powerful tool. A marriage needs effort, consideration, compromise, & ongoing love from both parties. If one party doesn't add to that "arrangement", then effectively, they are not being faithful to the other party. So what is my current situation & what is my bottom line that i will not budge on: We have sex fairly regularly, more so to tick the box but that's ok most of the time. It does help a lot. What is my line in the sand: if the sex becomes a once a month event, then that would be the end of it, not negotiable at all. It sounds harsh, but this has been clearly communicated & i don't want it to dwindle down to nothing because the enjoyment from making love for me has always been immense. This notion that "helping around the house a lot more" - am not so sure that it makes a difference at all. But i continue to do that, because that's what a partnership is about. I am often surprised that many men don't seem to help around the house - how did that ever creep in to the scenario!! don't help expecting a reward, just start doing what you should have been doing all along. If it does help then that's just an added bonus, but remember, you should have been doing that all along, this doesn't tip things in your favour but rather just steadies the raft onto an even keel.