I feel bad that you have had to go for so long without any reply, sadly the system here sometimes simply does not work . Please rest assured it is nothing to do wiht you, or the subject of your post.
I have read your posts from some time ago in:
Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers) /
during which you mentioned you had anxiety and depression. This current situation will not have helped in the least and left you worried over expense and grief and loss over a friendship that has become shaky.
Things started well and you helped out with the baby, something most mothers would realy appreciate, and your freinds tried to give you a gift as a result. Something you would enjoy.
That was fine, however it seems to have become a real burden, not a gift at all. It seems obvious now that your freinds have taken on more financially than they are capable of doing, a miscalculation on their part.
If they has talked the matter over prior to taking any action I would think you would have either opted for a much cheaper holiday to which you would have felt comfortable contributing to, or simply said no.
A holiday is a time of enjoyment, getting away from life's hassles and visiting new places. It sounds in this case you either go, and take the stress and financial hassles with you (and have to possibly deal with them on your return), or refuse and maybe invoke the ill will of your freinds.
Friendship can be a wonderful thing, however it is based upon not only enjoying another's company, but also care and respect for them. Frankly the ever increasing demands on you do not seem to show that care and respect.
Then again neither does talking behind your back, or allowing you to feel ill over the whole thing. It would seem what might have been started with the best of intentions has become a divisive monster.
I think the business of having a holiday with your BF is a side issue, I'm sure the two of you could arrange something more economical and less ambitious for yourselves.
So I guess you have to weigh up if the financial and other stress is worth putting up with for the sake of a shaky friendship, or if the whole thing is not really viable, with the effects on you doing more harm than good
Ask yourself if you do go if you think the friendship will be restored to its initial level after your return
Have you discussed this with your boyfriend? He may have suggestions.
I'd like to know what you think