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Topic: Two lovers

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Elsam
    Elsam avatar
    33 posts
    24 October 2020

    I recently become separated from my husband and am going through divorce.

    I have met the nicest gentle kind guy, he is tall, hot and sexy in my eyes. I feel he is head over heels for me but not sure I feel the same. He is talking about a future but not sure I feel the same.

    I do really like him and we have been intimate but I just don’t seem to have that ecstatic butterfly feeling, maybe it will grow as we have only just started seeing each other.

    My biggest dilemma is I am totally in love with a guy overseas and we have not met yet.

    I do want to continue seeing the guy I am dating but at the same time do not want to lead him on and break his heart.

    I do not want to lose him at the same time just in case I never get to meet the guy I am really head over heels in love with, totally smitten and in love with him even though we have not met.

    What do I do?
    I feel myself holding back with this guy and ruining the experience with him because the love of my life is always on my mind.

    Help ???

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8366 posts
    25 October 2020 in reply to Elsam
    Hi, welcome

    Perhaps, quickly visit the guy overseas and see in person if you really do love him.?

    The other consideration is- there is no need to rush forward with this new local guy. I think I'd suggest to him that you both relax and enjoy dating for a while.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Jsua
    Jsua avatar
    195 posts
    26 October 2020 in reply to Elsam


    Welcome to reaching out here and you're not alone in this situation.

    As White Knight mentioned, maybe take things a bit slowly and see where things go.

    Also, Butterflies can happen after getting to know someone, it's not just about what is on the outside of the wrapping, however, it's more about building a close intimate bond and connection.

    Take your time, learn to love and be strong and brave.

    Good luck

    : )

    2 people found this helpful

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