I dont communicate much of this to her at all for the reason you said , it hasnt worked out very well for me when i have tried. few of the what i would call standard responses come out like thats all you want from me, thats all you care about, im not good enough for you/ not enough for you. also she takes it as me blaming her for how i feel when i cant help how i feel, i very much wish that i could. the one that really hurts me is when shes told me if shes not enough then go elsewhere (as in leave me, not the other thing). i dont want anybody else, i dont love anybody else, i love my wife.
my wife is an anixous, insecure person and i feel very strongly about not making things worse for her, she has come along way since we started our relationship, its definatly my main motivation for not saying anything. this frame of mind creates my biggest issue, shes intuitive, she knows something is up shes always asking if im ok, do i still love her, do i regret marrying her other things along those lines.
and of course im not lying to her when i answer her questions, im ok for the most part as long as i dont think about this stuff, i love her more than anything but it also isnt the whole truth, i dont even know where to start im certainly not going to bring all this up just before bed or when i get home from work, im at a loss.
also im not a fool, shes asking me these things because my actions/ body language etc are making here feel anxious and insecure, shes thinks i dont like her when im quiet but im just struggling in my own head and it shows, therefore i am failing at the very thing im trying to accomplish. helping my wife through her struggles and making sure shes happy.