How are you all going? You have received replies from a number of people and it sounds as though you are considering some different approaches. It is always useful to be open to new ideas.
You spoke about medication above and your reluctance to let your boy take any. There is so much information and disinformation about medication for anything that it's quite confusing to make a good choice. I take an antidepressant these days but I resisted it for some years. There was a lot of trial and error and a reluctance by the psychiatrist to try something different meaning I went through many years coping with side effects that made my life difficult and in many ways added to my depression. Eventually I was prescribed a completely different class of medication by my GP and life started to look up almost immediately. No side effects.
This is not to persuade you to give your son medication. Until you have a full diagnosis of his difficulties I think any medication may obscure the problem without treating it. Perhaps that was part of your reasoning. We often say we are not medical people and it is important that you know this. Any advice or suggestions we offer is usually from our own experiences and not necessarily the most appropriate for someone else.
Having said that I do believe a full and proper diagnosis is essential for your son. I know autism and ADHD are popular diagnoses these days but not necessarily anything to do with your son. Perhaps you can ask your GP the best way to explore various options. Do you have full confidence in your GP? I have been very fortunate that I have had three GPs that I trusted implicitly and also a psychiatrist (not the one with the meds) who I find very helpful. This trust is very important.
May I make a suggestion? Write down all the information you have about your son. Your first post was very open. Start from there by copying it to your computer and working on it. Like all children your son no doubt has his good points and those that drive you to distraction. I had four children close in age and at times they drove me up the wall. Now they are grown up and have their own children I can say, when one of my grandchildren's misdemeanour crops up, yes I know, you were the same. Fortunately my children laugh and declare they were never that bad. Hmmm.
Take your notes to the doctor as it is easier than trying to remember at the time. Also list his good points to give a balanced picture.