Topic: 16 year old daughter has depression. Parents need counselling advice.

I am 24 years old and the daughter of this family who is currently seeking help for my youngest sister but my parents need counselling advice.

Last week, my dad has taken my youngest daughter to see the GP who has diagnosed her with psychosis, depression and anxiety and need to consult the psychiatrist or councillor soon. After the appointment, my youngest ran away from my dad to consult my dad's friend to contact the police. The police came and negotiated with my dad, me and my sisters and my youngest herself. They came to the conclusion that my youngest also needs help and we should consult mental health services soon.

I have called around these services that could help my youngest which all ended with results that were not beneficial for this situation (phone, text and video calls). What my youngest needs right now is home visits from counsellors or nurses to assess the situation. My parents also need advice on what to do for my youngest because they are waiting for her to recover and decide these things on her own but she plans on doing nothing. I need a professional to consult my parents to the right direction and possibly help my little sister with arranging home visits. My youngest is clearly not in the state of mind right now to go out. She has left school for a week and a few days now. My parents are strongly for the decision in pulling her out of school. She does not go anywhere besides coop up at home in her room on her bed just staring at the wall. She has isolated herself from technology completely (her phone is dead and laptop kept away.)

To whoever's available out there, I need your help right now.

Thank you and yours sincerely,

SG

Hi SaraG

I’m really sorry to hear that your sister is unwell and struggling. I can tell from your post that her illness is really challenging for you and your family to deal with and that you are very worried. She is very lucky to have a loving sister like you.

I can remember feeling overwhelmed and confused when my daughter first fell ill with anxiety and OCD at age 13. And it was a very stressful time for our entire family.

What I’m saying is you’re not alone. I get it. And I don’t think your family’s situation is unusual.

Your instincts are right, it sounds as though your sister needs professional help. I also don’t think it’s wise to delay. The outcomes, particularly as your sister has fallen ill during her formative years, will likely be better with early intervention.

The first step is to work out what kind of help she needs. The second will be to figure out how to get her there.

Let’s start with step one. Do you know if the GP created a mental health care plan for your sister? If you don’t know, could you ask dad?

It would be really helpful to have one, along with a referral to the right type of mental health practitioner to help. It’s really hard for you to find help on your own, if you don’t know if you need a psychiatrist, psychologist or someone else.

If there is no plan, perhaps talk to Mum and dad about going back to the GP to get one. If your sister is too unwell to go to the doctor’s you can ask if the GP will come to your house (our GP did when my daughter was really unwell).

Generally speaking, I don’t believe any mental health practitioners will come to the house to assess or treat your sister. But they will often involve the family in making a diagnosis and developing treatment plans.

There is no pressure to answer my questions here but if you want I am happy to keep working it through with you.

Kind thoughts to you

Dear Summer Rose,

I am unaware of the mental health care plan for my sister and my parents only were given a referral. Should I ask my parents then my GP about this?

As for the help we need, the GP did consult us to see the psychiatrist or councillor as soon as we can at this point. But perhaps the GP should come to our house to overlook this situation again and consult us otherwise in what to do next (?) It is difficult since most mental helplines now can offer online services that my youngest is really uncomfortable with right now.

Good news though my parents are willing to listen to me take part in this parenting and getting her help affairs that I referred them to a parent counselling helpline. I hope they would reach out and that helps them in getting what they need. Their decisions are critical towards getting help with my youngest.

Thank you for your input, Summer Rose. I will address this issue eventually with my parents after some while when they are given time to make the decision best for my youngest. This would be the next step.

Hi SaraG

You are doing a great job helping your family to work out the next steps. It’s great that your parents are letting you assist with decisions.

If I were you, I would do three things right now.

First, call to make an appointment with the child psychiatrist your sister has been referred to. There will likely be a lengthy wait for access—it could be several weeks, so best to have her in the queue. You can always cancel the appointment if anything happens to change your mind about proceeding in future.

Two, make a double appointment with your GP. See if Mum and/or dad will go with you. Ask all the questions you have. Does your sister need a MHC plan now? How could it help her now? Why has your youngest been referred to a psychiatrist? What should you expect to happen at the appointment? How can the family help her while she waits for treatment? Make a list of your questions in advance, so you don’t forget anything.

Three, keep a close eye on your sister. She is unwell and possibly terrified by her diagnosis and what is going to happen to her (I say this going on her extreme earlier reaction by involving the police).

Let your sister know that she is loved, no matter what. Let her know she will be supported. Let her know that while people do fall ill, they also get better.

I understand you want someone to come to the house and help. But the system is generally set up for patients to go to the doctors’ offices. Your GP will be able to explain more about family therapy if you need information.

Post any time to let us know how it’s going.

Kind thoughts to you

Thank you Summer Rose for your advice.

Well, I would have liked to do that and yes have tried to consult a psychiatrist but my dad has dealt with this with consulting his friends for help. She has undergone an assessment with the psychiatrist and psychologist and is currently diagnosed with psychosis and anxiety. They said she needs to take meds and be sent to proper care which my parents have gave their consent. She is currently in hospital now under proper care of the psychiatrist, doctors and nurses and me and dad try to visit her very regularly (if we can.) Just recently she's been difficult with us because she does not want to see us and possibly still mad at my father. I'd seen her on 22/02/2021 and before 19/02/2021 but she is quite uptight about being with us and deals with us by pushing us away.

I do hope as time grows she would get used to us eventually and also more comfortable. We only can hope right now and persist to show her care/affection when needed. Otherwise, time and space too is a good thing for her.

Yours sincerely