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Topic: Advice on depressed husband moving back in with us after 6 month separation.

  1. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    12368 posts
    22 September 2021 in reply to Redhuta

    Red Huta,

    thanks for clarifying issues and for your further update.

    I can see that you can communicate with each other and you both listen even if the answers may be uncomfortable, The fact he is wanting to see the psychiatrist and go to couples therapy is really encouraging because many people are reluctant to reach out. You are also ready to listen and to express your feelings.

    It is good that you are gaining more insights about his way of communication and the effect anxiety has on him and how he expresses himself.

    As I have said before your posts help others and I find I am learning how even in a complex situation there are ways to find out more.
    I think with counselling over time you will develop more skills and be able to use them outside therapy.
    You are recognising more what is happening in your relationship and even if it is upsetting you are understanding the role anxiety and depression plays.

    Thanks again for sharing .

  2. Redhuta
    Redhuta avatar
    72 posts
    22 September 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Thanks Quirky Words. I really appreciate the insight. I cope so much better when I understand and try and see things through his perspective. One thing I did last year was a life coach course which has also helped me immensely. So many skills I use in my everyday life.
  3. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12368 posts
    22 September 2021 in reply to Redhuta

    I know people have a life coach but did not know you could study a course.

    I will look it up. My life changed after the fires so I will see if it may help as I need some skills.

    Thank you Redhuta because you writing dies give people reality as well as hope and encouragement.

  4. Redhuta
    Redhuta avatar
    72 posts
    23 September 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Those fires were devastating. Although I only saw the footage but having experienced that would have been life changing. Then COVID!
    I think what I need to work on is dealing with situations that maybe I ignore. I need to for example find out why my husband had to confide with a woman he met 3 years ago. My issue is that when they did met it was when they were looking for a new partner. We were seperated however why engage after she checks in 6 months ago. I have decided to wait till he sees his psychiatrist as I am sure this will be discussed and I will have to have my questions answered. Although I may not want to hear the truth I really need to deal with this. He honestly does not feel there was anything wrong? I had two partnered in my past many years ago have affairs so it’s really a trigger. He knows that too.

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