Hi again, thanks for the update.
Let's look at this in terms of cutting him out of your life. I'll use my own situation although quite different but effectively I've lost a child.
She's now 28yo. My second of two daughters, my eldest I'm close to. Their mother I left when the girls were7 and 4 yo. So bad was her narcissistic behaviour I made an attempt on my life. Saved myself and left her one week later. I continued to see the children for weekends. My eldest came to live with me at 12yo. My youngest at 14yo rang me and said chilling words "I dont want to see you anymore". I questioned her a lot to find out the reason but no reason came just silence- mirroring her mothers actions. In fact she was a copy of her mother but I tried to treat her as an individual.
My daughter would then about every 2 years come into my life then 2 weeks later leave it- just like that! It was as if she was digging for information on my, my success and sometimes she wanted money of which she never got.
Two years ago we were travelling around on a caravan trip and again she contacted me (always on facebook so she could block me at her will and wouldnt give me her address nor phone number). We talked great for 10 days then- gone again. Again I was hurt, as my second wife had listened in on the calls she told me I'd done nothing wrong, that it was a game she played. My wife was actually her favourite auntie by marriage most of her childhood and knew her and her mother very well. So I asked myself- "how long will I be playing this game? its been going on for 12 years...when do I stop it forever?"
So I did. I blocked her from facebook and decided not to communicate at all. I also decided that if she found my new address and she approached, I'd invite her in for a talk but I would be very firm and distant. The reason I'd talk with her is for my benefit that I could live with myself better not turning her away.
How does this relate to you? Well, you need to, under the circumstances, preserve yourself, your own life and do what you can manage- whatever that might be.
I've had the comments from others- "but she's your daughter". That doesnt give her immunity. She does not have my interest at heart 1%. She has no interest in my love I give her nor my efforts in other ways. I also paid $15,000 over and above child support to give her a brand new smile with jaw operations.
It's angels like my youngest daughter that I can do without.
I hope that helps. I hope you smile again