A day doesn’t go by that I don’t have the same thoughts about my role of what I did or didn’t do.
I never imagined I would be going through this or that my loving caring son would change and would end up in prison.
Disappointment for us was that he chose to lie in his police interview, which caused problems on that the police check raised doubts so he ultimately decided to plead guilty for everything. I am glad as his acceptance he has done wrong is important for him to change .
I have changed too through all this too and I have had to chose to use this experiences for good, eg in comforting others ..not to let it make me bitter and hurt and not to let this bad situation control me and destroy me or take away my love. It’s hard and hard been though many emotions and counselling sessions and podcasts and sermons to get to this point.
We spoke to our son again tonight. There is progress in his parole application and PSA reports have none been sent and are being considered but he parole board and hope to hear in a month. He says he wants to prove to everyone e he can get back on track again.
When he rings, he might not want to talk about family, future, plans and deep and meaningful things but happy that he is talking about anything!! …cooking and his skills he is learning in his work… It was exciting to hear about it. I still get off the phone and we hope we said and asked the right thing, especially if he doesn’t ring back for a while , so I am working on trying not to do that!!
Regarding telling people, because he asked us not to tell anyone :We heard from another friend he wrote to that he wanted to be able to explain the situation to them himself. So I am glad that people continually asking about the family didn’t make me feel pressured to tell them. Our vague answer seemed to satisfy . Covid made it easier to explain his absence plus his previously pushed family away anyway.
i think others going though and wonder how in the future I can some how find a way to educate kids not to go down this pathway and end up in prison .