My (ex)wife struggled with bi polar & ADDher whole life, but wasn't diagnosed until a month ago. Days after getting diagnosed & being put on medication our marriage ended.
When we first met, as amazing as my wife was, she was timid, shy, and struggled communicating. I assumed she was late bloomer & as she gained experience she would thrive. As the relationship progressed her timidness and inability to communicate clearly became a problem. She also didn't keep promises, had outbursts, & struggled to apply for & keep jobs (she started off strong but would quit or get fired in a few months).
I struggled & the relationship started to slip into something that felt more like a parent-child relationship. I saw so much potential and I didn't understand why she struggled to let it out.
10 months ago she fell into severe depression (self injury, suicide threats, mood swings, tantrums, shutting down, fidgeting). At first, I thought she was doing it all to hurt me and she was being selfish. I didn't understand. I cried and I could barely eat.
5 months ago, I was finally, sort of, understood and I started to fight the depression and not her (as much). I pushed her to admit her problems, to tell the nurse her problems, to be honest with the therapist. I lost myself. But, I stuck by her.
At the same time, a local guy (no hs degree, bad job, bad reputation) started to pursue her.
She went on & off meds she didn't like. Then I went to the nurse with her and I explained all her symptoms. The nurse said, "I had no idea! You're bi polar. I have a medication that will help you."
5 days later, I had my wife back. I could finally breathe. I was quickly falling in love w/her again. Then, I went out of town for work. On the day I was supposed to return, we spoke on the phone and she was so sweet and warm. We made plans for the holidays and for our future (she could finally envision the future again!), but sadly, I had to tell her I wouldn't make it home that night. I'd be home the next day.
I came home the next night to a clean house, a dinner in the fridge, but no wife. She texted, "Don't worry I'm not breaking any promises. I'm not doing anything wrong. I just had a lot of energy. I'm feeling good and I'm just being me." She came home 6 hours later a 5AM. She had been to the big city all night with the local who was pursuing her. She didn't think she did anything wrong, but my heart was broken. Now, I'm confused, alone, and broken. Why did this happen? I fought so hard. :(