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Topic: Drug Addiction, recovery & relapses in family & friends- how to cope, support & protect myself!

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Tigerlily87
    Tigerlily87 avatar
    3 posts
    18 January 2020

    Hi everyone, Im so new to this so not sure if im in the right forum (please direct me if im not!).

    My partner is a recovering drug addict and has had a recent slip (relapse? one time use, not sure the correct terminology). Im really struggling to process this, work through it, the trust thats been lost, how to support him while maintaining my own strength and not become absorbed in the situation.

    Its only very very recent so Im still up and down with emotions. Has anyone else had a partner go through drug addiction and recovery? I really need advice, to hear positive long term recovery stories and support- not looking for negative opinions, or advice to walk away, as at this point, its not something i want to consider but my heart is breaking....

  2. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    10722 posts
    21 January 2020 in reply to Tigerlily87

    Hi Tigerlily87

    I am very sorry that you havent had a reply as yet....and yes you are in the right forum discussion :-)

    Your post has been bumped up under 'New Posts' so you can have a response from someone who can share your thread topic on drug addiction and recovery

    my kind thoughts

    Paul

  3. Deckt
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Deckt avatar
    195 posts
    22 January 2020 in reply to Tigerlily87
    Hi Tigerlily87,

    My partner has a problem with drinking. She has relapsed many times, but has also had a long period of sobriety. I'm not walking away from her, and I get that it's hard to hear that advice from others. It's what I hear from everyone, and honestly, it makes me reluctant to ask for advice or support.

    What I can recommend is that you are taking care of yourself. You've probably heard the saying that you can't pour from an empty cup. We all need to make sure our own needs are taken care of before we can help someone else. To this end, maybe a counsellor for yourself? They might be able to provide some non-judgmental suggestions. Self-care activities are good too. I have found sometimes that I've been so eager to care for my partner's needs that I'm neglecting my own, and that's no good for anyone.

    At the moment, the hard decision that I've made is to take some space for myself. I've made it clear that I love her, that I want to help her, but that pretending that everything is fine (she's currently in the mindset that her drinking is not a problem, that she can handle it, etc) is not helpful to her or to myself. Some might view this as an ultimatum. The important thing there is to make sure that you can follow through. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. I want to support her so much, but until she recognises that this can't go on, no matter what I do, it will not help.

    This is going to be a hard road to walk, but I'm walking it too. You're not alone. Only you can decide whether or not it's worth it.

    I wish you the very best. Take care of yourself.

    1 person found this helpful

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