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by Briwnie
29 minutes ago
Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers)

Space for sharing tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing with other carers.

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Relationship and family issues

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Depression

Space for discussion of major depression, bipolar disorder, cyclothymic and dysthymic disorders, and BPD (borderline personality disorder).

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by Isabella_
1 day and 23 hours ago
Grief and loss

Support following the bereavement of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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by Christina S
1 day and 1 hour ago

Topic: Help needed

  1. Unsure77
    Unsure77 avatar
    144 posts
    1 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337
    Yes it is difficult and confusing not knowing what do or think.
  2. Unsure77
    Unsure77 avatar
    144 posts
    1 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Morning dng,

    i hope your weekend went well.

    What is it about this women I just can't seem to move on, I sent an email saying I hope she is doing better and I got a reply of don try contact mum you will never see, know or be told how she is doing, we will be making sure of that.

    i know I need to move on I just can't, my heart and mood sink every time I think about my decision and not being with her now and even the thought of her being with somebody else absolutely pains me to no end.

    again thanks for all your help with this dng I really appreciate it. Hope you have a good day.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    1 August 2021 in reply to Unsure77
    thx mate, u have a good monday too.
    1 person found this helpful
  4. Unsure77
    Unsure77 avatar
    144 posts
    2 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337
    It's not going real flash, mediation isn't looking real promising even though the kids want to spend equal time with me. Other things have happened so I couldn't go work hope it gets better
  5. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    2 August 2021 in reply to Unsure77

    Evning U77. Just keep plugging away mate, do somethings valuable every day for the things that really matter to you.

    Tonight i'm helping wife get ready for a big task on thursday.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Unsure77
    Unsure77 avatar
    144 posts
    2 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Thankyou dng

    im trying but I keep seem to take 2 steps back and only half or one forward.

    I hope your wife's project goes well.

  7. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    2 August 2021 in reply to Unsure77

    "im trying but I keep seem to take 2 steps back and only half or one forward." said U77.

    Awesome! I am absolutely feeling fantastic about your comment there, that is exactly how it should feel.

    2 steps backwards = letting go of the old stuff.

    0.5 step forward = moving forward carefully with clearer values.

    david'n'goliath

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    2 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Morning again U77.

    So here is the cool thing about the two steps back and 0.5 forward... if you keep at that and keep moving carefully forward with your known values/motivations, in time you will find your stride lengthening to what used to be 2.5 steps!

    I imagine you will be running forward with a smile having warmed up and gained a second wind.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Unsure77
    Unsure77 avatar
    144 posts
    3 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Morning dng

    thankyou for your words, so far today I have accomplished a bit which is great.

    for some reason I just can't stop thinking about her, it's driving me crazy with how much I want her back and want to hear from her.

  10. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    3 August 2021 in reply to Unsure77

    Evening U77. Is U77 a submarine I wonder? feels familiar somehow...

    Righty 'O. I gently suggest you find a few things to throw away. I suggest further that those things be symbols of the old and that discarding them is an action of letting go - a conscious practice of throwing away a piece of no longer needed "stuff". Don't necessarily throw away something you want to keep, or even might want to keep, or even might miss not having... instead somethings that u are comfortable discarding.

    Tonight I committed to cleaning the kitchen for wife and along the way I found some very dusty coffee glasses that we haven't used for so long they have piled up dust in them and around them! lol. So I decided with wife's help that yep, we don't/didn't need these glasses anymore and I with a smile symbolically and physically threw them away, then cleaned up the dust too!

    Wife n I's kitchen now suits our needs a little bit more.

    Another option that some business people use is for "poor" clients, just taking them out of the contacts list so one isn't reminded of a poor business customer.

    love dng.

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Unsure77
    Unsure77 avatar
    144 posts
    3 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Morning dng

    it does feel very similar at times.

    the hardest thing I have it that the house I'm in is where my kids grew up which I don't have back there anymore and it's where we got engaged, so everytime I walk in there I'm reminded of it. Even to the smallest stupid things like the cleaning products we used to use when we lived together. There is a TV add which is the worst and it comes on all the time, it's the repromed ad as we were looking at using that when things were great we were all booked in.

    i guess things will get easier as time goes on it's just I still miss her so much.

    U77

  12. Unsure77
    Unsure77 avatar
    144 posts
    4 August 2021 in reply to Unsure77

    Morning dng

    i spoke with her last night and basically she said she loves me and she wants me back but only if it's me and none of my family.

    hope your wife's project goes well today.

  13. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    5 August 2021 in reply to Unsure77

    That's interesting news, what do you feel/think about it?

    Wife's meeting went well, we find out if she got job in 7 days. My trip to hospital worked out all good too, they stuck me and stuck me and drew their vampire ways! lol.

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Unsure77
    Unsure77 avatar
    144 posts
    5 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337
    Things hVe taken a big turn dng she has changed on the kids and parents but then turns around and says I have to tell a mate of 35 years I can't be his friend anymore as they don't get along. It driving me crazy why do I have to do that I can't do that.
  15. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    5 August 2021 in reply to Unsure77

    Evning U77.

    All grist for the mill my friend, stay strong, stick to all your core values.

    Yes, she being tricky there by sounds of it, a probe that is called. If I concede something over here, what can I gain over there?

    It is truly designed to confuse and overpower, a tactic to off balance an adversary. I seem to be open to negotiation - but I will ask another unreasonable thing. I really am not open to negotiation because once I crack this one little point I can change all my other positions for my gain.

    She seeks to reshuffle the deck, then will become the dealer and perhaps stack the cards and maybe even deal to herself first!

    1 person found this helpful
  16. Unsure77
    Unsure77 avatar
    144 posts
    5 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Hey dng

    that sounds exactly like what she is doing to get me back in the door then it will go back to her not doing what she said she would do. Now I am the blame for her being back in hospital making me feel responsible

  17. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    5 August 2021 in reply to Unsure77

    G'day U77.

    Some metaphors for you.

    Your positions are as resolute as a armoured bunker filled with trained people.

    You are water and will flow any where and every where and are utterly inevitable like a tide eroding the shore.

    You are a puffy white cloud in the sky fast flying away from danger.

    1 person found this helpful
  18. Unsure77
    Unsure77 avatar
    144 posts
    5 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Morning dng

    i take that as don't give in as she will never change, she will get me back then control everything again and not meet her side of the negotiation ?

  19. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    26 August 2021 in reply to Unsure77
    morning U77. How's things going in your neck of the woods? I have been super busy, but in a really comfortable way. dng.
  20. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    28 August 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Hello U77, I am sad and frustrated that I was away for so long from these forums that you seem to have disappeared since the 6th of august and I hope you are ok and working forward with your life to meet your own values and needs/wants/desires in fair ways.

    good luck have fun = glhf, dng.

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