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Topic: How to help my depressed partner ?

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Positive pear
    Positive pear avatar
    1 posts
    5 December 2019


    I am seeking advice on how to help my girlfriend,

    Here is a little bit about us, I’m 26 and she’s 24, we have been together for over a year and both came out of long term relationships around 2 years ago. We have known each other for 9 years and have had our ups and down but lately my girlfriend has gotten worse,

    It all started about 9 months ago when we moved in together, she has a full time job that she gets a lot of stress from despite having a kind and supporting boss, as well as studying online part time. I work full time as well and we also live in a share house. I have had major depression in the past but have been fine for years and have not regressed since. She has also had depression in the past.

    To sum it shortly without going into more detail, all of the stresses in my partners life has resulted in her self harming and feeing lost, alone and not wanting to live anymore, she cries her self to sleep every night and breaks down every day when she gets home saying “she can’t do it anymore”.

    I can see she is trying, I’m trying to be compassionate and staying positive but I’m struggling to find ways to reassure And help her. Also I am being realistic about my expectations for her in that she needs major help or a major change in her life as she is stuck in a black hole.

    I’d like to add we are both seeing psychologists and I found mine to be very helpful, where as she does not see hers as helpful at all.

    Thank you for reading

  2. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    3414 posts
    5 December 2019 in reply to Positive pear
    Hey Positive Pear,
    Welcome to the Beyond Blue community. We’re so glad you have reached out today.

    We’re so sorry to hear about your girlfriend’s situation. Its sounds like she is in a really tough mental space at the moment. This behaviour is quite alarming and we can imagine you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed. 

    We’d recommend looking at our website for relevant articles. Here are some you might find helpful, “supporting someone with a mental health condition”: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/supporting-someone-with-depression-or-anxiety and the types of treatment options for depression: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/treatments-for-depression

    We’d also encourage you and your girlfriend to reach out to our support service. We’re available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our professional mental health counsellors at our Support Service will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area. The Suicide Call Back Service also provides 24/7 telephone, online-chat and video counselling to talk through any difficult moments. You can even sign up for free video and online chat counselling on their website: https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/need-to-talk/ 
    We’ve sent you a private message with some other support options too. We hope that you use these supports in addition to the forums. 

    Please take care,
    Sophie M. 

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