I'm sorry to hear how much this is impacting you, it's a big weight to be carrying. In times like these, your wife has nothing to lose by seeking professional help, regardless of whether someone understands. In the end no one can truly know and understand someone else, as we are all unique. We can still find love, empathy and compassion for people who are different to us.
I hope you can also have some support for yourself. It sounds as though you have been holding all the burden for too long. Please know you are allowed to do things for yourself. You deserve respite too.
I am here for you and happy to keep the conversation going if it benefits you.
All the best xo