Hi, I am new to this community and am so glad I have found you all.
I guess my situation is similar to a lot of yours and I'm hoping to get some advice and perspective.
I have been married to my husband for 10 years and we have a 5 year old son.
My partner began showing signs of depression during our engagement, after discussing this with him he told me that he had suffered from depression on and off for the past few years and it always passed with time and it was nothing to worry about. I guess because I was young (23) and didn't have any life experience I let it slide.
Seemingly he did get better quickly and we went on to marry.
For the first few years we coasted along, he had a few moments here and there where he was depressed but nothing over the top.
5 years ago when we had our son, life was great. I had a good job, he had a good job and we had our new son.
Slowly over the last 5 years he has been slipping into deeper and darker episodes. We saw our family doctor who prescribed him anti depressants. This worked for a while until he started to have other things go wrong in his life. All of a sudden, he couldn't see the good in anything, he hated his job, hated where we lived, hated his family and also hated that I was so happy in my job. I know hate sounds strong, but these were his words not mine.
I am a very stable person and managed to keep everything coasting along ok. He drifted from job to job, always finding something or someone he hated there, and left. More often than not this left us in a bad financial position but we managed.
Last August he came home from work and said he needed a break from work and wanted to leave and take some time off to regroup and retrain and work on his issues. We reworked our budget and found a way.
Now 14 months down the track he is worse than ever. He signed up for a TAFE course, went to one class and never went back, he refuses to see a doctor or seek help of any sort. He spends his days on the lounge watching movies and I have to come home after working 10+ hours to a house with dishes in the sink, a unfed/unbathed child, dinner not started and the house looking like a bomb has hit it. He is aggressive but not violent.
I don't know how long I can keep this up. Please help me. I feel deep down that I want to leave him, I am able to support myself and son easily, but don't want him to feel abandoned. He has no job and nowhere to go.
I am not happy, and surely I deserve to be?