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Topic: Living with a husband with Depression

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. robyng
    robyng avatar
    5 posts
    1 February 2020

    My husband has suffered depression for many years. He is in his mid 70's. He hasn't had a checkup with a medical professional for some years Just on the same medication that he has always been on. At present he is not talking to me just spends all his time outside. Just driving himself. When he sees me sitting down he tells me I'm lazy and that I should be working too. He usually is never like this. He doesn't have any interest or hobbies. I have a referral for him to see a doctor but I don't think he will go. The doctor has also given me one too to see the doctor.

    I am really getting to the end of my tether and don't know what to do.


    1 person found this helpful
  2. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    9201 posts
    2 February 2020 in reply to robyng

    Dear Robyng~

    Welcome back, I read your account of your husband's behavior from back last April in

    Forums / Welcome and orientation / Family coping with family member with depression

    and it sounds as if things have changed slightly but are no better. Additionally medication often needs to be adjusted over time and this is not happening, perhaps losing some of its effectiveness as a result.

    I'm afraid you still have the same problem as always, simply put you cannot make a person go get professional help, and most often it's not going to be properly effective without their own desire to go, after they recognize there is a problem.

    I can only ask if there is someone else he respects whom he would take notice of?

    I guess the most important thing you can do is to look after yourself properly and draw boundaries, for yourself, son and grandson. This does not mean arguing, but more likely when his behavior is unreasonable, angry or belittling for you to simply say you will not be spoken to like that and walk away.

    Can I suggest medial support for yourself if you do not have any already, apart from your diabetes and high blood pressure that is. Having a walking-on-egshells life is terribly stressful. I'd also suggest ringing Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 who may be able to advise you as this is, as previously described, an abusive situation.

    Please let us know how you get on.


    1 person found this helpful
  3. robyng
    robyng avatar
    5 posts
    8 February 2020 in reply to Croix
    Thank you Croix. What do you mean by medial support
    Thanks Robyng

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