thank you for sharing your story & thoughts. I know sometimes how hard it is to get it out! Thank you!
I’m not a professional at all & this is my experience only & I hope I can help. I have been in exactly the same position as you.
I was with a gentleman for ten years, of that ten married for nearly three. In that ten years, he was unemployed for 5 of these years. He had depression, anxiety and I’m not 100% certain but I believe he also had a drug addiction which fuelled the MH issues. I supported him financially, emotionally and all other support. We lost everything- home, cars etc had to move in with my parents etc (thankfully they took us in).
I tried everything to help him and motivate him, but he did not want to be helped. It was sad and frustrating to see the man I married not be bothered. It got too much and we separated. That was 2 years ago this March. i was trying to encourage him to be the best version of himself for him and in turn for us. I tried everything and nothing worked.
it was after seeing doctors and specialists that I realised he did not want to improve, or be the best version of himself. He was not ready nor capable at the time to work on himself and no amount of help, support, love and finally begging was going to change this.
My thoughts and hopes for you are that you ensure you take care of you first (I did not do this hence I was admitted as an outpatient to a clinic) and it was rock bottom. But, I can safely say I got through it and it was tough but I survived.
I did love my husband, I don’t love him anymore but hope that he has gotten help.
Please take care and happy to listen