I am hoping to get a bit of advice, or at least reassurance that we are doing the right thing.
My mum has been on antidepressant for 25 years for depression and diagnosed with BPD and Impulse disorder. The depression has turned into gambling, alcoholism and now I believe there may be drugs involved.
My mum has put the family through hell and has remained adamant that she is the victim. She has attempted to commit suicide numerous times, threatened suicide constantly, lost her licence drunk driving and damaged things around her unit, just to mention a few. Most recently she set fire to her unit. She is now currently living with a man who is a bad influence and having relations with her, we believe he may be emotionally abusive to her and he is claiming to insurance that he is now her power of attorney (whether or not this is true).
My dad is an enabler and has threatened to cut her off (they are separated since they had to sell the house due to her accumulated gambling debts). Even though they are separated, she constantly calls him up asking for money as she has spent it all - after yelling at her, he always gives in.
Since this fire, she is in the mental health centre hospital (to be released shortly) and is adamant that she is the victim and denying anything is wrong (Even though I have text msgs and voicemails that she admitted she wanted to die), and is refusing that she needs help. She is actually pretty happy that her insurance will replace everything in her unit and couldn't care less that she could have killed someone (or her dog).
My family have put up with a lot and we are at the end of our rope. I have young kids I need to protect and my dad already suffers from heart attacks. We have been told that unless she admits she needs help, that there's nothing we can do. Which is why we are ready to cut ties with her.
I guess I just want some reassurance that we are doing the right thing. My mum has always guilt tripped me and I already feel guilty but I feel that my stress is affecting my health but I know, the longer I avoid/ignore her, the more I will feel guilty. I am next of kin and have copped the full brunt of this and I just can't take it anymore since it doesn't seem she will ever change. I'm scared that my dad will give in and begin enabling her again. I'm very close to my dad but I want to be strong enough to tell him that I don't want her in my life, for the sake of my health and my kids.
Has anyone been through similar?