Hi. I’m new to the forum and just really looking for somewhere to offload and for some advice.
my fiancée and I have been together for 6 years. We are due to get married this year (delayed once due to COVID). In 2018, he started to suffer with severe depression and suicidal thoughts. He never received medication but had counselling and got much better.
We old our house in September 2020. He started a new job in Saudi Arabia in August, and we’ve only seen each other for 3 weeks since then when he came home before Christmas as a surprise. We are used to long distance from his previous job.
About a week after he got back to Saudi, he told me his anxiety was playing up and he wasn’t feeling great. I know he’s stressed about the house, about when we will see each other again because of COVID etc. He was always messaging me telling me he loved me, missed me, will do anything he can to get home in April so we can get married. Then over the Christmas break he went really withdrawn, barely messaging me back, never calling or anything. I asked him why and he told me I was annoying him and to leave him alone.
It’s been two weeks since then and we’ve had small episodes of contact in between. Mostly him telling me he loves me, wants me to be happy but doesn’t know if he can make me happy, that I deserve better, and worst of all, that he doesn’t know what he wants. He said he’s struggling out there with it being a new world. I’ve tried to leave him but felt so in limbo over the last two weeks that I had to message him last night to say please tell me what’s going on.
he said he couldn’t talk, that he “can’t do it his head isn’t in the right place”, but perhaps selfishly I said I need to speak to you on the phone as we’ve only spoken over text since this happened. He was really nasty to me on the phone, it felt like he was saying anything he could to hurt me to push me away. That he wasn’t happy, we’re just a habit, and we've grown apart. That the Last two weeks have been the best ever since not speaking to me. He said I need you to leave me alone I’m not happy in my head I love you more than anything. I tried to tell him it’s your anxiety/depression, but he said he’s not depressed, despite saying his head is all over the place.
I sent him a nice message saying I know you’re pushing me away and trying to hurt me to get me to leave, but I won’t. Now I know I need to leave him alone. I am heartbroken. My gut tells me this isn’t him at all and it’s not over.