I have a brother who I have recently come to believe has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. No I am not a professional, and ideally would like to get a professional diagnosis, but I have studied and 98% sure and he ticks the boxes.
He is the youngest in the family (by 8 years) and by the time he was a teenager his older brother and sister had married and left home and were busy raising our own families. So we never really saw his behaviours until recently.
We always knew that he had issues but thought he was just "Being himself - weird". The fact that he only wanted to talk about himself and demean others meant that at family get togethers, we normally didn't spend much time near him.
Its only been in the last year that I have really seen the escalating negative behaviours, and become a focus of his condition myself.
He has always liked to "big note" himself, tell stories about how good he was, and at the same time put others down.
He had a very difficult upbringing, it's relevant how he got here but not related to what we are trying to do.
Our elderly parents are now in permanent aged care, and for the year prior to that I was acting as a carer for them, which is when I came into a lot more regular contact with my brother. I also installed cameras in the house (With mums and dads approval) to monitor care givers visits and also ensure they were safe (Mum has Alzhiemers and Dad was having falls). The videos showed the verbal lies and character attacks by my brother against myself were ongoing and many.
Current situation is that following a face to face Death threat and verbal aggression, my sister and myself have taken out a protection order. The death threat was during a Narcissist rage that started when I told him "I'm not going to help you as much anymore". This was following one of his "Being difficult" episodes. It was all captured on cameras. He now tells people that he had to run away and I threatened him and he was scarred. Shame that the videos actually show what really happened. When he remembered the videos it changed to "Didn't really mean it".
His Daughters (both adults) cant handle it any more, His latest girlfriend also had abuse and has protection order. He has alienated all his immediate family. And then moved to "Dumping" on mum and dad at the aged care home. Nurses commented that dad was in tears following visits.
But we still want to help. Dad wants a happy family. I said I'd try getting Mediation or counselling for us ?