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Topic: New to the supporting family and friends forum? Here's 3 tips to get you started

24 posts, 0 answered
  1. bb_official
    bb_official avatar
    Forum moderator
    20 August 2014

    New to the supporting family and friends forum? Please read our trio of tips to help you get the best out of your experience here.

    Tip 1

    Before posting, start by reading some of the existing threads. You may find a number of community members' experiences you can relate to. Reading about others' circumstances with supporting loved ones with mental illness might give you more insight into helping or understanding your loved one.

    Tip 2

    Supporting someone with a mental illness can be quite challenging, and carers, family, and friends often need support as well. By posting your experience on another community member's thread it gives you a chance to connect with others whom have a shared experience.

    Tip 3

    Check out the resources in the  on this website for further advice on how to help and support loved ones with a mental illness. Browse the resources available and share with the community what advice was useful for you.
     
    78 people found this helpful
  2. Grace12
    Grace12 avatar
    8 posts
    25 June 2018 in reply to bb_official

    Hello BB

    I've just joined the Online Forum and am reading all the helpful tips before posting. In your Tip 3 there is a link to a Parent and Friends Help page but the link doesn't work. I'd like to read as much as I can so would appreciate knowing where to find the information.

    Thanks.

    3 people found this helpful
  3. Quercus
    Valued Contributor
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    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
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    Quercus avatar
    3465 posts
    25 June 2018 in reply to Grace12

    Hi Grace and welcome to the forums.

    Thanks for the feedback. I'm sure BB will fix the link (I've reported the post too) but for now try this section...

    www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone

    There is also a section of the forums solely about caring for someone with a mental illness. You can find it here...

    www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/supporting-family-and-friends-with-a-mental-health-condition-(carers)

    I hope this helps. If not just about out ok.

    You're also very welcome to start a thread of your own if you'd like support specific to your own situation.

    Nat

    3 people found this helpful
  4. C3!
    C3! avatar
    4 posts
    1 July 2018 in reply to bb_official
    Thank you for the tips. I hope to be able to find ways that i can support my husband through some mental health issues and get him the helps he needs without pushing him away and/or putting to much on myself. I have recently lost my dad and my mum passed away when I was only 11, so have been having counselling face to face myself to deal with a lot that has arose since. I just hope we can both get throught this
    2 people found this helpful
  5. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    10243 posts
    2 July 2018 in reply to C3!

    Hello C3!.....and thankyou Quercus for being here

    My sincere condolences for the recent loss of your dad....and for you to have lost your mum so early...

    If you need any support (that can be directed to you and your husband) you are more than welcome to start your own thread topic. You will receive support from many gentle people here that are also experiencing similar life events. The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post

    Take a little time and have a look around the forums. If you have any queries I really hope you will let us know

    You are not alone

    my kind thoughts

    Paul

    2 people found this helpful
  6. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    12882 posts
    2 July 2018 in reply to C3!

    Hello C3, I am so sad to hear about your loss.

    If you feel like talking, please don't hesitate to come back to us.

    Can I also suggest clicking on 'Get Support' at the top of this page, scroll down until you see 'Publications to download or order', this is a booklet that helps people understand what depression means and ways you can help, it's a very informative booklet and well worth having.

    It's just another piece of this puzzle you can slot into the gap and may provide some extra help.

    Please let us know.

    My best wishes.

    Geoff.

    Geoff.

    3 people found this helpful
  7. RVP
    RVP avatar
    1 posts
    16 August 2018 in reply to bb_official

    I have just joined the online forums. We have an 18 year old who has suffered major depression/anxiety and sucidal thoughts for over a year now, and we are really struggling to find the best way of supporting her. We are becoming increasingly convinced that medication (anti depressants, anti anxiety drugs, sleeping pills) has made things worse so are interested in connecting with carers/pratctitioners/institutions that take a more holistic approach of diet, exercise, psychotherapy, managing social media usage etc. etc. There are so many threads and seems no way to search them - should I start my own ? Is this the best area ?

    Many thanks

    2 people found this helpful
  8. Littlelegs
    Littlelegs avatar
    5 posts
    27 August 2018 in reply to bb_official

    Hi

    i am wanting to learn how to support my husband. He has been diagnosed with depression on Friday when I got home from work. I had no idea and he had not discussed with me at all. The GP has given him some meds and ge can’t get in to a counselling until October.

    When I look back over the past couple of weeks there has been some strange behaviours including buying a new car with no discussion with me.

    i want to help but I feel lonely and afraid and he doesn’t seem to want to talk to me about it, preferring to discuss with a friend of his new boss.

    he has just started a new job (into week 4). He was retrenched in Jan and had 6 months without a job. Throughout this time he was fine. Sadly 4th time being retrenched in 10 years.

    i am worried I have no energy to be of benefit to him as have been already exhausted trying to get through the last 6 months financially and with positivity.

    His new boss knows about the depression and I am afraid he may. It make it past his employment probation.

    sadly he comes from an usual family that have never been of any support or any friendship. His mother passed away last Nov, he had a terrible relationship with her, wondering delayed grief and guilt of their toxic relationship.

    thanks for reading

  9. Possum-kelly
    Possum-kelly avatar
    1 posts
    6 November 2018 in reply to RVP

    Hello Littlelegs

    You are amazing and loving as a parent. Well done for pursuing more to support your loved one. What a very special calling.

    I am hearing very negative dialogue from my much loved early 20's daughter regarding giving up.

    She is taking sleeping tabs to sleep but as far as I know she isnt taking any medication for emotional health.

    What do I say to her, I make every effort to be compassionate and understanding and sympathetic.

    I have so much I want to say to her to encourage her with positivity etc but dont want to overdo it.

    Do you have any thoughts for me?

  10. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    8557 posts
    6 November 2018 in reply to Possum-kelly

    Dear Possum-kelly~

    Welcome here to the Forum. Having a daughter talking of giving up is a horrible situation for a parent to be in, and one that others here have faced.

    Unfortunately although you have selected an existing thread that is not what you need. This thread is about tips for users and only infrequently visited.

    Can I suggest you start your own thread, that way people will see you and be able to reply.

    If you are unsure about how to make a new thread have a look at

    Forums / Welcome and orientation / The forum FAQ thread

    We'll look out for you there. If you have any hassles sing out

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Looking for help
    Looking for help avatar
    1 posts
    28 December 2018

    Hi, I am new to this forum as my husband was diagnosed with having a drug induced psychosis.

    the last couple of weeks have been hell. I’ve been locked in my own house, abused, unable to go to work or see friends due to his illness.

    He is now medicated and is seeking treatment.

    i feel exhausted and stressed and wonder if I can still support him and be happy.

    I just don’t what to do or how to regain some happiness whilst looking after him

    any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

  12. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    6939 posts
    28 December 2018 in reply to Looking for help

    Lookingforhelp, welcome to the forum,

    I am so sorry to hear about your husband and what you have been through.

    Can I suggest you start your own thread, that way people will see you and be able to reply.

    I am pleased he is now medicated and seeking treatment.

    It is exhausting for you but things will change as he gets better.

    Have you spoken to his doctor about what to expect.

    Unfortunately although you have chosen an existing thread that is about tips for people and only infrequently visited.

    Can I suggest you start your own thread, that way people will see you and be able to reply.

    If you are unsure about how to make a new thread have a look at
    Forums / Welcome and orientation / The forum FAQ thread
    We'll look out for you there. Post here is if you have any problems starting your thread.

    I will look out for your own thread.

    Quirky

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Freisia
    Freisia avatar
    2 posts
    2 February 2019

    Hi to all on this wonderful site and forum. We have both an adult son and daughter who suffer severe depression which has been on-going since their late teens They are now in their forties. I also had a niece and a nephew who have taken their own lives as a consequence of depression.

    Our son had a severe head injury following a quad bike accident and life with and for him has been extremely difficult since. Our daughter has been in several car accidents but also had a traumatic experience in her teen years while overseas.

    I decided to start a blog while trying to understand depression. This has helped me to learn a lot more about it and gain a greater understanding.

    I would love to hear from families who are trying to help a family member with depression and learn ways to cope. I did think it would get easier as they got older but it has really got much worse and it is beginning to take a toll on my husband and I . We are both in our 70's now and it is not easy as we are also still trying to support family and working long days on the farm.

    I look forward to hearing from others and perhaps we can help and encourage each other.

  14. Freisia
    Freisia avatar
    2 posts
    2 February 2019 in reply to RVP

    Hi I am sorry you have a daughter feeling so low. It is extremely difficult as a parent but there is help available. Beyond Blue and Lifeline are both very good. It is hard when it is someone so close to you because they don't want to acknowledge that they have a mental illness to their parents. I have struggled with it for many years and so I have been working on a blog to help me both understand and deal with it.

    I post about dealing with depression without drugs using cognitive behaviour therapy and diet and exercise too.

  15. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2564 posts
    4 February 2019 in reply to Quercus

    Hi all,

    Just thought I'd share a few extra resources -

    1

    https://www.carergateway.gov.au/caring-for-someone

    Includes info about carers payment/allowance from CL, articles about coping and info about the free National Carer Counselling program which can be accessed from a phone call too (especially handy if you're rural)

    2

    http://www.mentalhealthcarersaustralia.org.au/

    Includes their (also free) MH Carers Australia hotline 1300 554 660

    3

    https://carersaustralia.saneforums.org/t5/Carers-Forum/ct-p/carers-forum

    A specific forum for carers only

  16. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    8557 posts
    23 March 2019 in reply to David Nobody

    Dear David~

    I can understand your frustration, years ago when I first came here I too wanted to share my story. Doing so does give others an idea what can happen, the pitfalls and the triumphs. One of my main problems early on when I became ill was I'd no idea what was happening or what to expect.

    Presented in the right way to the right people such stories are a powerful tool to better society. Both those that have a mental condition, those that care for them that do, and the officials that decide national policy and the day to day running of the health system all benefit.

    Unfortunately here on this Forum is not the place. It is a very large and busy environment and there are practical restrictions, one being the 2,500 character limit, the prohibition on the discussion of particular medications, another being true anonymity and perhaps most importantly moderation to ensure what one person says does not adversely affect others.

    I'd agree as you can see from the above your story may well need telling, however there are other avenues, even within Beyond Blue. I'd suggest the Speakers' Bureau, which gets people to tell their stories in public at events where they will do some good.

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-involved/our-speakers-bureau

    In the meantime I normally find a person's story does come out, though a bit at a time, with fresh information being written in your thread as time goes on. This is not all bad, it does give time for reflection on each event, its implications and the right way to explain it.

    I hope the above does let you understand the situation and gives you at least one avenue to try.

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  17. David Nobody
    David Nobody avatar
    117 posts
    23 March 2019 in reply to Croix

    Hi Croix,

    Frustrating is quite correct.

    There are so many obstacles in the way.

    David.

  18. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    8557 posts
    23 March 2019 in reply to David Nobody

    Dear David N~

    You know I agree wiht you abut the frustration, however I got round it. If you look at my posts you would have a pretty clear picture of my life. The only downside is I scatter them everywhere and only have a couple of actual threads.

    I guess the bottom line is that this is not the correct place for a long narrative, no matter how well written or useful to others. Perhaps you need to do research into where might be the best place. Apart from hte Speakers Bureau there are MH client representation organizations that could help.

    Incidentally I'd be happy if you wanted to change you name, you are most definitely not a 'nobody' but articulate and thoughtful. What do you think?

    Croix

  19. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    10243 posts
    23 March 2019 in reply to Croix

    Hello David

    Since this is more of an administrative thread I will be brief

    Croix has made an excellent point about your screen name (the Nobody part) This isnt a criticism in any way. I do have difficulty with the 'Nobody' as you are a caring and intelligent individual. You are the same as any one else on the forums including myself

    Thankyou for your caring, articulate and experienced input on the other threads too :-)

    my kindest always

    Paul

  20. David Nobody
    David Nobody avatar
    117 posts
    25 March 2019 in reply to blondguy

    Hi,

    Nobody ties in with the title of my book. It resonates to me with what I was like during my journey.

    And quite frankly, I would like to keep it as a protest of sorts.

    David

  21. HanP
    HanP avatar
    3 posts
    10 April 2019

    Hi everyone,

    I have recently learnt that my boyfriend has depression and we have had some ups and downs, but he has explained to me how it feels for him. He does not want to take any medication as he hates how it makes him feel, he describes it as one feeling, like being monotone.

    I really want to be there to support him but to also know how to support myself and to learn it's not my fault, even though sometimes it does feel that way.

    I think this space is such a fantastic idea and I really want to learn more about it and how I can not only help him but myself and others from my own experiences.

  22. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    10243 posts
    10 April 2019 in reply to HanP

    Hi HanP

    Thank you for your complimentary post and being a part of the Beyond Blue family too!

    You are very welcome to start your own thread topic or help others with your own experiences :-)

    I really hope you can stick around the forums....when its convenient for you

    my kind thoughts

    Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  23. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2564 posts
    11 April 2019 in reply to HanP

    Hi HanP,

    Welcome to the forums! I'm really glad that you're here. I'd love to talk to you more about what's going on but it's so much easier when you have your own thread!

    Did you want to copy your text and paste to a new thread here -

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/supporting-family-and-friends-with-a-mental-health-condition-(carers)

    1 person found this helpful
  24. HanP
    HanP avatar
    3 posts
    11 April 2019 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    Thank you very much for the link.

    I have now submitted my own thread.

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