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Topic: Please help me help my son...

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. Inneedofsupport
    Inneedofsupport avatar
    4 posts
    25 February 2019

    My son is 22 and has been struggling with anxiety and depression since high school. It has been a painful journey for my husband and I to watch him self sabotage himself through the years, we have been supportive in getting him help through psychologists etc. and trying to set boundaries to keep him safe but he ended up moving out at 19 not wanting to accept our help. Sadly he has taken the path of self numbing with weed and alcohol mixed with no sleep he often goes to work very tired and that makes him a danger to himself and others around him. He has been prescribed different types of anti depressants which he is not consistent in taking at the initial stage. I have explained that it will not work if he doesn't stop the other staff, in fact will make his condition worst, but he won't listen. He has been reaching out to close friends the past few days as he has been feeling suicidal, we are very worried as part of us feel it could be for a little attention but we are scared of the potential that in a drunken/high state he will go through with it... When we ask if he is ok he says "I'm fine" ... I don't want to tell him his friend told me about it as he might feel betrayed and not feel like he can reach out to him. We always touch base and I tell him all the time that I love him no matter what, but I am so scared and don't know what I can do to help him if he won't help himself.

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8254 posts
    25 February 2019 in reply to Inneedofsupport

    Hi, welcome

    I'm afraid your options are few.

    Certainly if you use pressure he will run further and faster. You seem to be good at not placing him in that scenario.

    Please google these.

    Beyondblue topic does stubbornness have a place?

    Beyondblue topic is there room for stubbornness?

    Repost anytime


  3. giggles
    giggles avatar
    126 posts
    25 February 2019 in reply to Inneedofsupport

    Hi inneed,

    My 26yr old is same story but no drugs or work. He admits to anxiety but refuses to get help.

    l know how heart wrenching it is as this has been going on over 5 yrs. we too have suicidal tendencies when he drinks too much.

    l am seeking help about this very thing because its getting too me too much.

    l hope both of us find a solution however l have To look after me as the age is so so difficult. Far beyond, no pun intented, me actually being capable of helping in any way except as you do as well, let him know he is loved.

    Mostly he is a good egg but as said stubborn. Just will not talk about feelings let alone do anything to help self.


  4. Inneedofsupport
    Inneedofsupport avatar
    4 posts
    25 February 2019 in reply to white knight
    Thank you so much, I will look that up.... He is very stubborn and thinks Dr no longer helps...
  5. Inneedofsupport
    Inneedofsupport avatar
    4 posts
    25 February 2019 in reply to giggles

    Thank you so much for your reply, it really helps not feeling like I am the only one going through this, and it is starting to get to me also which is why I have reached out here... It is heartbreaking feeling so helpless... Just now he has messaged me and finally has told me he is not doing well atm, but at my suggestion of seeing Dr he has sharply said "no Dr"... Hubby and I have made a plan to each get in touch with him at least once a week each and to ask him to give us a hand with reno jobs... Maybe that will help him to reconnect and feel needed and wanted..... I really hope we get somewhere ...

    All the best to you and your family giggles...

  6. giggles
    giggles avatar
    126 posts
    25 February 2019 in reply to Inneedofsupport

    Your welcome.

    I found out he is talking to someone this week. Phew... too that.

    All the best to you as well.

  7. Inneedofsupport
    Inneedofsupport avatar
    4 posts
    25 February 2019 in reply to giggles
    Great to hear.... I too have had a big long talk with him..... Fingers crossed
    1 person found this helpful

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