I hope that you're doing ok today.
I'm hoping that we can share some things with each other that have really helped us avoid the too-easy trap of becoming co-dependent, or overly fixated on problem-solving and ruminating about our partners issues. It's not easy to unlearn those habits, especially if you had a history of being codependent or the 'fixer' in childhood dynamics or early relationships. That position can be erosive to our mental state, and only leads to resentment, burnout, and our own depression.
So, I hope you will please reflect and think about any 'a-ha' moments you've had regarding this, any phrases or sayings that have worked as mantras for you to keep your emotional + psychological boundaries in check, etc - this could be things you've learned yourself, from friends, family, or media, or also wisdoms you've learned from a therapist.
Looking forward to hearing what you all have to share, & I think that a thread like this could become a really solid liferaft for not only each of us on hard days, but also people that come here for the first time in future seeking support and help.