Topic: struggling with special needs children

Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life

Matchy69

t is hatrd when you are struggling and your child is not bale to do what other can at the same age.

Has you child been diagnosed with having special needs or are you worried .

I know with toileting children can start doing that any time between 18mths and 3 and a half , with the child still seen as in the normal range.

Every child has a different approach to toilet training.

I am sorry this is stressing you and I realise you have other issues in your life.

I would try not to compare your child with others, unless there is a physical or emotional reason why your child cant toilet.

Quirky

Yes my child has been properly diagnized wth adhd and autism.He sees specialist regularly including someone about his toileting but just dosnt seem to be working

matchy

I am so sorry I was confused. Thanks for explaining.

I used to teach children with special needs and can understand how hard you work and how you are struggling. I think brining up a child with special needs is one of the hardest things to do. I see you as as a very caring parent and of course you would be tired of changing nappies.

I suppose you have been told that toileting may take a long time, and I am glad you have support.

i wonder if the person you see about the toileting would know other parents doing the same thing so you can get some idea and support from them.

I know that with children with autism some take a lot longer to understand toileting and it can be frustrating for the parent.

You are doing a great job helping your son .

Quirky

Hi Matchy,

I just read your post and hope it’s not too late to reply. We have a child with Cerebral Palsy and he can’t toilet himself or walk or talk. It’s incredibly difficult a lot of the time to care for him because he has so many needs and things he can’t do himself.

It’s even harder when you are struggling with your own mental health issues and I have been through a particularly difficult time recently, including a stay in hospital. Sometimes it’s so hard to get motivated to care for him but I do it as he can’t do it himself. I feel guilty for my feelings at times, but remember, they are normal so don’t beat yourself up.

I get some counselling through his main disability service. That way they can offer extra support. I really look forward to respite, so he can have some time out and my husband and I can have some time together.

I love my son tremendously and would do anything for him but yes, I know how hard it is. His behaviour is pretty good which helps. I find that I worry a lot about the future and how I’m going to care for him. Also if I’m feeling particularly sensitive, it’s hard going out because people naturally stare. He doesn’t look ‘obviously’ disabled, but being in a wheelchair and his ‘flapping’ at times draws attention to him.

Hang in there. It’s hard when you’ve got other stuff going on too, but it’s the reality of the situation, try not to be too hard on yourself.

Blue skies

Thabk you for your reply.I know other people are going through similar things with their child.

Mine has a lot of behaviour problems as well and i get to the point where i struggle to take him out and if i do its for short periods and i allways glad to get home.

Last week i had a bit of a break through with his toileting with him doing a poo on the toilet but since then its been backwards.I will just keep trying.

Probably because my mental health isn't good and hasn't improved any that makes it more harder for me.It is a real struggle for me.

A tough morning getting the kids ready for school,one having a hyper episode and the other one having a huge panic attack which caused me to have one.In the end some how got both there.

Now having a huge cry and trying to recover.

Listening to a programe on NICU bought back memories of when my son was born and had to go into one for a few weeks.I remember my sons mother had to use a breast pump filling up bottles all the time.I remember getting a pass to park outside the back door.It was such a scarey time 7 years ago and it hasnt got much easier since.The continuous appointments with specialist seems never ending.

Hi Matchy69,

I'm hearing you. It must be so very challenging esp that you've got your own mental health to contend with as well.

I couldn't imagine doing what you're doing. I've heard some ppl say it's rewarding, would u say that?

I, in ways have taken an easy rd. 37, fem, no kids, no partner, living with mum.

I really value ppl like you, taking on so many challenges and doing your best despite the circumstances. It is such a big thing to take on so well done.😆

Hi i use to find it rewarding but now that i am 50 i am struggling.The kids getting more demanding to look after but i will keep battling on and hope things will change one day.As a parent you look after children and love them no matter what.My kids is what normal is for me.

My morning started at 3am this morning with my son screaming,this is normal.I was allready awake,i don't sleep much but knew i had 5 hours of this.8am i have the kids ready for school,no panic attacks with my daughter,i got her to school ok today.My son was hypher when i walked him to the classroom,the teachers aid manages to settle him down.Home i go hoping for the best.Text my ex how the kids were this morning.Then its time to go to bed and have a cry wondering if this will get any easier.

Not such a good morning for my daughter,anxiety and panics attacks this morning and was't able to go to school.She has missed so much school because of this.We have had meetings at the school with this and are ok with this when it happens.

The phychritis wanted to put her in a special boarding school.I dont really know if thats the answer.

My son went ok and has swimming today.He's doing without me this year,trying not to have him so dependent on me and for me to have a break.The amount of appointments and things the kids have to go to gets overwhelming at times for me.

My 7y.o son with Autism and ADHD is driving me mad this school holifays.He is very clumsy and drops everything.He is very independent and wants to do everything him self like he gers his own cereal and pits milk on it but half the cereal ends up on the floor and the milk ends up everywhere.I know he dosnt do it deliberately.I just seem to spend half my time cleaning up his messes and it dosnt do my ocd's any good.I should be spending more time with my daughter but have to watch my son all the time and it is effectingy daughter as well

To make things worst today my son has diarrhea today and dosnt use a toilet.My house just stinks and just been trying to clean up his mess everywhere

With school starting again next week for my special needs kids my anxiety is pretty high out the moment.Hoping my kids have a better year this year with less drama.My eldest starts grade 11 and my yougest is grade 3.The school is going to allow my yougest to stay to 3pm instead of 1 pm like last year.I am not sure how he will go only time will tell.

My daughter was having huge issues with anxiety and panic attacks last year and missed half of last year because of it.She has just started seeing a phychologist about it and hope i can get her through this year ok.

I managed to get my eldest back at school this week and she had a good week,less subjects and some interesting ones as wel

My son was sick this week with vomiting so he didnt go this week though he seemed well enough today and should have went but refused to get ready saing he was still sick.Hoping to be able to get him back at school next week.

I am worried about my daughter that she is going to drop out of school because of her anxiety and panic attacks she been having.She is allmost 16 i dont know what options their are for her?

Hi Matchy,

Life with special needs kids sounds very challenging.

Are you able to find ways to manage her anxiety and panic attacks? Deep breathing that sort of thing. I usually Google everything to find information/ solutions.

Also how are you going recently?

Hi mm thanks for your reply here.

My daughter is seeing both a psychiatrist and psychologist and is on medication( she has tried a few different ones)but dont really help much.The psychologist is helping her with relaxation and breathing exercises but i dont think its really helping.She is very smart and usally is a straight A student.

For my self i am not that real good mentally or physically health wise.I am waiting for some test to be done at the hospital at the end of April.I really struggle to get out of bed everyday.When i have the kids i have to and my 7y.o son is so full on.

Take care,

Mark.

Morning Mark,

Oh that's a hassle, having to get tests done but it also means they will hopefully get to the bottom of what's wrong and it can be sorted for you. Wishing you all the best with that.

I'm guessing that being a straight A student and all your daughter likes school as best as she can so will hopefully continue. It's good that she has professionals in her corner as well. It just sucks that poor mental health can get in the way.

Anyway I wish you all the best. I know it's a struggle and hard but we do get there hey.

Your pretty courageous taking on so much when you're not 100% yourself. Your effort doesn't go unnoticed...I see it, and so do others at BB.

I think your children are lucky to have you.

Thanks mm i try my best with my kids and everything .I just worry about not being strong enough to cope and how much support my kids will continously need.My daughter is 16 and needs still a lot of support.

I just like coming on here just to show people on here that they are not alone with what they are going through and someone cares.It helps me to talk to other people and really dont have anyone to talk to out of here.

Take care,

Mark.

Just feeling really stressed at the moment.I find out my daughter didnt go to school today.I dont know what to do.Its her anxiety and painic attacks.

My ex text me before telling me to take my son to swimming lessons this afternoon as he wont go and then text me to say he wants her to take him so now shes taking him.

I just seem to sit at home waiting for my ex to text incase i have to do something with my kids.

My son had a real good week at school this week being his first week back and he made it to 3pm and didn't need picking up early which was great.

My daughter missed the last 2 days of school this week from her anxiety.It really seems to be getting worst for her.She says she wants to finish school but know if that will be posdible with her anxiety.

I am still having major problem with my daughter getting her to school.She missed the last two days last week with anxiety.Now my ex wants her to live with me and she dosnt care anymore if she goes or not.She called my daughter some terrible names.

My son hasnt had a good week at school and has been sent home from school before lunch.The principle this morning said this morning that they were going to merge the class he is in with another to make a bigger class with a new teacher.More change which he dosn't like.

Another bad day for my son really dont know what to do.I dont think this will ever end,it will just get harder and harder.

I had a phone call at 12pm to pick my son up from school as he was having a bad wouldnt do his work and disruptive in the clasroom.Now i am totally exhausted and it is only friday aftermoon.

My son has started using the toilet again after he stopped using it.Hopefully he keeps using it.It gets so hard when he dosn't.

I am very anxious about getting my kids to school tomorrow.Just worried the wont get ready,wont go and will say they are sick.

Its my baby girls 16th birthday today she has hsy fever at the moment.My son one an award yesterday for his award for his story on the Fairy school.