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Topic: struggling with special needs children

  1. Matchy69
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    10 March 2020
    Today my daughters english teacher rung today and wanted to know why my daughter hasnt been at school for the last couple of weeks.Its just anxiety and she wanted her to do an english oral on the ipad and send it to her but my daughter broke down and cried and shut her self in her room.I dont what to do we have tried everything but anxiety has destroyed her life.
  2. Matchy69
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    15 March 2020
    I have had some awkward questions asked by my kids this wekend.My son asked me why i dont live with mummy?My daughter been asking me about the coronavirus and why their is a shortage of toilet paper.I still dont understand my self why we have a shortage of toilet paper.It seems to be an international thing.
  3. Shelll
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    15 March 2020 in reply to Matchy69

    Hello Matchy, just read through your whole thread. It is so obvious to me that you love your children so much. It's awesome.

    Anyway just wondering have you or your daughter considered like doing school online through the TAFE system? Since it appears she seems quite bright. I don,t know it may just be good for her.

    And have you watched Fathering Austism on Ytube? It's about this family that has a girl, think she is about 14 years old now. You may pick up some tips. Or maybe relate to this family.

  4. Matchy69
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    15 March 2020 in reply to Shelll
    Hi Shelll thanks for your reply and reading my thread.Most my words are from depression that i have.I have thought about other options like tafe online but i havent looked into Really looked into it yet.My daughter has a psychologist appointment this wednseday and a psychiatrist in a couple of weeks.My daughter did get her learners last week by doing it online.
  5. Matchy69
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    16 March 2020
    The schools are really get strict with everything now with the virus.My kids were sent home early today because of it.Another thing to worry about.
  6. Matchy69
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    8 April 2020
    I just putting down my latest thoughts.Now with having to home school my two kids, I am finding it very daunting.How am i suppose to teach my kids who have special needs?The school struggles and i am not mentally well enough to do it.My 16 y.o daughter is in year 11 and her subjects are hard to hard for me.I cant really help her.These are the most important two years of her school life and if she fails it will be my fault.She wants to go on and do veternary nursing but will be my fault if she cant.Her psychologist has canceled all remaining appointments for now just as we starting to make progress.I have to be a pychologist as well as a teacher when i cant even look after my own mental health and a parent.I started giving her driving lessons but now i am not allowed to and that was the one thing i could do.
  7. Birdy77
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    9 April 2020 in reply to Matchy69
    Hello Mark,

    I can hear how overwhelmed you are feeling, and i want yiu to know that you are not alone.

    I have heard from two friends and my sister this week saying that they feel the same way. I was helping my niece with pythagorean theorem via text and i was googling everything as we went.

    You said that the one thing you could do, teaching your daughter to drive, has been taken away. This is just temporary.

    And- remember that you are so much more than a driving instructor. You provide a loving, safe, consistent home, you give your children loving attention, you cook and bake for them - these are huge acts of love.

    There will be a way around the hurdles and challenges that these restrictions pkace on your daughter's study, try not to worry too much.

    In years to come, your love, steadfastness and security will prove waaaay more important than if you knew how to help your daughter with her homework. I know it's important, but maybe over the term break you can set up some assistance through the school, if you tell them you are struggling to help with her studies.

    I am confident that you will find a way through this.

    ­čî╗birdy
  8. Matchy69
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    9 April 2020 in reply to Birdy77
    Thanks Birdy my daughter starts her school work next week and after i have tried to help her with her homework previously i have found it really hard.I will see how she goes and how the others do as well.One of her classes their is only three in it.The physio gave my son exercises to do and it is a real struggle to get him to do them.Everything seems to be a struggle and now we have such added pressure on us because of the virus.
    1 person found this helpful
  9. Matchy69
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    12 April 2020

    I am finding it very difficult for my 8 y.o son to understand whats going on.Why we can't go out and do things and why I can't get certain foods and things he wants.It breaks my heart when I see him crying and upset.

  10. Birdy77
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    12 April 2020 in reply to Matchy69
    Hi Mark,

    That must be so incredibly difficult, especially if he is very set in his ways with his accepted foods - i can only imagine how difficult it is for you.

    Would it be possible for your ex to get some extra supplies of the foods your son will eat, and drop them over to you?

    When you used to use visuals with him, did you find that they helped him to understand? Would that be something that maybe you could start up again? (Just a thought, it may not help much).

    I'm so sorry you are going through all these extra huge challenges - it's a lot for you.

    ­čî╗birdy
  11. Matchy69
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    13 April 2020 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi Birdy thankyou for your reply.I do online orders with woolies but they allways out of what you want.I cant make anymore cakes until i get some more ingrediants hopefully when i do my order this week i can get some so i can make some with my son.It just gets frustrating not getting things you want.

    Visual aids might help my son i will have to get my ex to make some up for me and try it.Its going to be at least five weeks of home schooling the kids which is stresssing me out.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Birdy77
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    13 April 2020 in reply to Matchy69
    Hey Mark,

    It definitely might be worth a try starting up the visuals again, especially if he's going to be learning from home in Term 2.

    My sister lives in Qld and she sent me the notification today saying they want kids to stay home for the first 5 weeks if possible.

    It's very, very hard when there are additional needs to contend with, which you have.

    I'm glad you can get Woolies delivered, i hope the food your son will eat will cone back into stock really soon. I made a marble banana bread this morning and it was a disaster, whoops a daisy.

    ­čî╗birdy
  13. Matchy69
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    13 April 2020 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi Birdy it is going to be an interesting next 5 weeks here and maby more.I got one in primary and one in high school so their work is completely different and their would be a lot of parents struggling with home schooling who have multiple kids.It wont be easy for them.It starts next week.The high school sent my daughter her work.My daughter is in year 11 and said that the year 12s were really panicking about finishing school and dont want to come back next year.

    I made a chocolate mud cake on saturday that tasted yummy.Unfortunately that is the last cake i can make for the moment.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Birdy77
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    20 April 2020 in reply to Matchy69
    Hi Mark,

    Just wondering how are you going there this week?

    Did the the food your son likes come back into stock?

    Did you get more dupplies for your wonderful cakes? It's great that you love to bake! A creative outlet with yummy results!

    How are you finding day one of term 2? Or are the kids at their mother's at the moment? My nieces in Qld couldn't log in to their class this morning because there were so many kids trying to do the same - internet overload. They're hoping tomorrow will be better.

    I hope you are ok.

    ­čî╗birdy
  15. Matchy69
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    20 April 2020 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi Birdy thanks for asking how things are going.I have done an online grocery order which will be delivered tomorrow.I ordered most things except i couldnt get pasta shelves and the brand of cat food that my cat likes.I will try again next time.I did order some cake mixes still no four.

    The kids are still out their mothers this week.They had trouble logging on to the school internet as the site crashed to many trying to get on.I thought that would happen.I am worried more about my daughter with her schooling as she is the last two years of schooling.I hope she manages ok.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  16. Matchy69
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    25 April 2020

    This home schooling is interesting as my daughter says its boring and would rather be at school and she has the problem of her younger brother annoying her when she is trying to do her work.My son is very hard to get to do his work which is normal but i did manage to get him to finish it all yesterday.We are going to seperate the kids so my daughter dosnt have her brother annoying her.I will have my daughter this week on her own until thursday then i have to go into hospital friday.

  17. Matchy69
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    20 May 2020
    I have my daughter back at school the last couple of weeks.She is going to school better this week not to many dramas.My son starts back next week so I am getting anxious about how he will go as it has been so long since he has been there and with all the changes and social distancing that still has to take place.It is very hard for him to understand these things.
  18. Matchy69
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    29 May 2020
    With both my kids back at school it was back to the same routine.My daughter feeling sick with anxiety and my son lasting to only lunch time.My daughter went everyday except friday and my son got picked up early everyday and was told he is having a new teacher monday for the third different teacher this year for him so more change for him and then it will be school holidays for him.My daughter finishes school at the end of next year and that worries me.I dont know what she is going to do with the way her anxiety is i ptobably have to look after her full time.
  19. Matchy69
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    5 June 2020
    Today was the first day since school has gone back that my son stayed the whole day.It was because the new principle has decided to keep him there when he is having an episode rather then ring us to come and get him.I have had this discussions with previous principles but it never happened.I hope this priniple sticks to her guns.
  20. Matchy69
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    6 June 2020
    My son's new principle said to my son to grow up.My son is 8 years old with Autism and ADHD.I don't know if she should have said that?
    1 person found this helpful
  21. Matchy69
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    4 January 2021

    Hi all, lately I have been really struggling with everything.I am so tired from lack of sleep. My son wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes with a wet bed or from a bad dream.And he wakes up so early and he be standing next to my bed asking me to get his breakfast.So I do in like a zombie state don' even know what I am doing.I still have so many challenges with him as he is still not toilet trained and now with him getting older seeing that is my future just changing him cleaning up his mess with no sleep.I found out that when school goes back his teachers aid who has been with him since the start as well as my daughter all through primary school has left to go to another school.So now I am worried what will the new aid be like and will she be as good as her.Their is suppse to be a change if principle again back to one I wasn't happy with.Feeling he will go backwards now at school after having a promising year last year after a shaky start.

    My daughter will be entering her last year of schooling and the worry with her is she hasn't spoken a word to anybody at school or outside of the immediate family with her selective mutism.She has had some health problems to that don't seem to be improving to go with her anxiety and panic attacks and stopped seeing her psychologist in the midd lke of last year which has me worried how is she going to cope at all.

    2 people found this helpful
  22. Paw Prints
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    4 January 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hello Mark,

    Sorry I don't have any ideas that would help. I'm guessing you will have already tried anything I could think of.

    I just wanted to pop on here & send you a supportive hug & offer an ear to listen.

    take care

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  23. Matchy69
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    4 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints
    Hi paws it is good to see you on here.I am just feeling so flat at the moment.The kids are seeing pschiatrist,phsio,OT ect but just feeling down about it all and all the appointments that never end.
    1 person found this helpful
  24. Paw Prints
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    4 January 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hello Mark,

    Bearing in mind I don't have kids & have never had to care for my nieces/nephews for more than 36hrs at a time... you may have tried these or feel free to ignore/tell me I'm an idiot for making the following suggestions... with trying to toilet train your son.. during the day if he goes to the toilet make it he gets a reward... praise plus a gold star on the calendar/favourite treat etc, building up to say his favourite meal/game if he has more than an agreed number of successes. With trying to get him to be dry all night... restrict his fluid intake for the last two hours before bed & make it part of the going to bed routine that he goes to the toilet (even if at first he doesn't do anything). Historically the intermission at the 1 1/2 hr mark in plays/theatres was based on the average time most people can hold on before needing to empty their bladder.

    I hope you don't mind me making this suggestion... if you would prefer I didn't suggest things then please let me know I wouldn't be offended if you want me not too.

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Sleepy21
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    4 January 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    hi Mark hope ur son has a great aid next year and gets the help he needs

    thats disappointing about the principal

    I can understand how tiring it is especially as ur son wakes you up

    Hope u do get some rest as well and that your son and daughter are doing well

    1 person found this helpful
  26. ecomama
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    4 January 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    I wish I'd found your thread when I came to BB.

    I haven't read far back, just a few posts.

    Hugs. THIS IS HARD WORK.

    These are my suggestions but you know me, you can take them or leave them or say you've tried that, whatever. Never any offence taken at all.

    I haven't disclosed much about my professional career but it's pretty much right here.

    It's time to reduce your stress as much as possible and there are only SO many ways to do this, no magic wands as you know.

    * I'd put a night nappy on your son. I really wouldn't care about who tells you what... it's horrible for both your son and you to have this happen.
    * If your son won't wear one then give him his favourite reward FOR doing it.
    * WHEN he has say 21 nights dry then that's when you can stop. That's the deal with him. It's not like he wants to do it. It can take decades to stop bed wetting and there it is.

    * IF you're concerned about the new Teacher's Aide then I'd ask for a Communication Book to come home or maybe messaging via one of the apps the staff may use for parents.
    (Then it's in PRINT... and then there's 'evidence').

    * Is there a favourite cereal or such your son likes to eat for breakfast? (I had a child of my own who seemed to never sleep! Most of my children needed little sleep, those baby books were lying lol).
    * I used to Glad wrap a bowl of my child's favourite cereal and leave it on the table.
    * then I put 1 cup of milk in one of those containers in the fridge with a flip top lid she could reach. Labelled with her name in whiteboard marker. This can wash off.
    * It takes a bit of training to unwrap glad wrap and pour the milk but doing this WITH him for while will help him learn how to do it without spilling anything.
    * I also did this with a sandwich and cut up fruit all labelled. Then they can get it out and eat what they want.
    * A knee rug on the lounge with the TV remote nearby so they can snack on the lounge was FINE BY ME as long as they didn't wake me up!

    Yeah I know some ppl will say this is encouraging him to wake up but being alone at night may not.

    Maybe worth a try.

    EMxxxx

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Matchy69
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    4 January 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hi Em thank ou for the suggestions I have done the night nappy on him and they do leak on occasions or he wakes up with it wet and he wants me to change it.It is 4am here he has not woken up at all unfortunately I did about 3 times.We have had the communication book for a couple of years with the school and we write down the time he wakes up and mood and medication time and they write down how he went during the day.I just hope he manages with the changes of staff at the school.I did send the education minister an email a couple of years about my concerns with the schooling.

    The idea of a smaller container of milk is probably a good idea as he seems to spill the milk at of the big bottle.He has been eating toast for breakfast at the moment.I did show him how to user the toaster but it scared him when the toast popped up so now he is scared of it.I keep fruit like straberries or grapes and I have plenty watermelon cut up in the fridge for him so he helps himself with that.

    Thank you for caring Em.I had this thread for awhile but haven' had any responses for ages and felt like I was talking to myself.I thought i would dust the cobwebs off it and rejuvenate it.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    4 people found this helpful
  28. Matchy69
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    4 January 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi paws Thank you for your suggestions and your suggestions are always welcome .You have this reminded me I do have a chart where I put stars on it when he uses the toilet that the OT gave us but I have up with that but think I will try again with it.He is proud of him self when he does go to the toilet.It would be nice if he could get the hang of it.Make my life a bit easier. A good point is making sure he dosnt drink to much before bed.The problem at the moment is he is having water melon before bed and that's filling up his bladder and I have had a few leaking night nappies.I need to cut back on his watermelon intake at night.

    Thank You Paws for your suggestions really appreciate it.

    Tale care,

    Mark.

    3 people found this helpful
  29. Matchy69
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    4 January 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy and then you for your caring words and Thank you for coming on my thread and I hope I get some sleep when they have a few days at their mothers on the weekend.I will be able to manage a a bit of a nap during the day.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    2 people found this helpful
  30. Sleepy21
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    4 January 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    no worries Mark

    I'm imagining your son waking you up for his toast... i hope you do get to have a nap :)

    no sleep for me at all tonight - very bad anxiety. I'm also going to have to need to nap at some point to stay okay

    thanks for telling me about ur thread so i could post here

    3 people found this helpful

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