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4059 24355
by Mum Chris
1 hour ago
Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers)

Space for sharing tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing with other carers.

2294 14538
by Matchy69
20 hours ago
Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family, and friendships.

5677 41234
by geoff
6 hours ago
Anxiety

Space for discussion of generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety, phobias, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, and eating disorders.

5902 41009
by meforcats
3 hours ago
Depression

Space for discussion of major depression, bipolar disorder, cyclothymic and dysthymic disorders, and BPD (borderline personality disorder).

5161 38028
by LC80
47 minutes ago
Young people

Space for people aged 12-25 to discuss life and wellbeing issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other.

3852 20568
by Buttermilkbob
5 hours ago
Grief and loss

Support following the bereavement of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

652 4225
by Summer Rose
16 hours ago

Topic: struggling with special needs children

  1. Jstar49
    Jstar49 avatar
    824 posts
    2 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark,

    absolutely one day at a time. It’s too overwhelming other wise hey!

    sounds tricky with your son. Is he ok about wearing a pull up to school or does he hate it?
    in so many things I’ve seen, many Drs say stuff, like “oh that will never get better” or “Your child will die by age 20” or whatever, and then it doesn’t happen. So much is up to the individual.
    it must be hard when you are so tired and unwell yourself. But just allow yourself to hope, and pray to whatever god you believe in, that things will change. You could ask for a small specific thing, and hold it in your thoughts, lit with love. Wait and hope for that to change. Then remember to say thanks! The act of gratitude generated more good stuff. There’s so much about this in so many different faiths and belief systems.
    Maybe if you’re not up to doing much for yourself, you could make yourself a cup of tea (for eg) and think loving thoughts. Like, take the time to really enjoy that cup of tea. Smell it, taste it, sit somewhere nice, enjoy your surroundings and be grateful for life.
    (I’m totally not having a go- I know it can be really hard to be grateful for life sometimes when everything seems to be against us. It’s just that being grateful changes the way our brain functions. It’s a good habit, esp I think for those of us inclined to be melancholic)

    thanks Mark, for all you do here on the forums.
    hugs

    J*

  2. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    2 February 2021
    Hi Mark, thinking of you. I wish I could offer more support.
  3. Matchy69
    Valued Contributor
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    3 February 2021 in reply to Jstar49

    Hi Jstar and Tayla,My son is really use to wearing pull ps and it dosnt seem to worry him yet but maby in the future if he still having trouble using the toilet when he gets older.The doctors do say stuff that is so wrong they have said to me that I am as good as I will be with my depression and won't improve.Thst was almost 30 years ago a doctor said that to me.You can always prove doctors wrong and many have.My mums doctor gave her 6 months but she lasted over 3 years.

    Swimming carnival tomorrow for my daughter and she will be staying home as it is way to noisy in the enclosed area they have for the pool.

    I am trying to get a site ready for a shed I am putting up.Hopefully I can have it up by the end of the month.I want to use it as a workshop to restore motorbikes in.

    Tale care,

    Mark.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Jstar49
    Jstar49 avatar
    824 posts
    4 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark,

    snap! Swim carnival for us too. At least I don’t have to go this year- parents not allowed. What a relief! All those competitive parents (we are not particularly athletic so completing a lap without stopping was T’s goal this year lol)

    I imagine your d was happy to have the day off- I was when I was a teenager. Unless me and my friends had planned a feast on the day. That was the only thing we enjoyed about sports carnivals lol!

    Mark are you saying you were diagnosed with depression 30 yrs ago? Have you been suffering all that time, or does it come and go...?
    That’s a really long time! You must have some hella coping skills!

    J*

  5. Matchy69
    Valued Contributor
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    4 February 2021 in reply to Jstar49
    Hi Jstar yes I have suffered depression for a very long time.I even had it as child from school yard bullying.I have good periods and bad periods with it.I also have been diagnosed with anxiety,panic attacks,Autism and other health problems.
  6. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    4 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    I'm sorry to hear that Mark. For me, I've had mental illnesses since I was 12. I knew it was depression then even without a diagnosis because I was feeling so miserable, negative, etc. and everything was changing.
  7. Jstar49
    Jstar49 avatar
    824 posts
    5 February 2021

    Hey Mark, Hey Tayla,

    I'm really sorry thats happening for you, and started so young.

    I can see I had a predisposition to depression, being a melancholic, and other stuff- other kids, family life not conducive to well being. And have had bouts of depression since my early 20's, triggered by life events. So I kinda get where you're at, a bit anyway.

    Can either of you id the thoughts behind your mental health issues?

    Cos I was becoming aware today, again, how much the thoughts I'm having atm were set down in childhood and reinforced by life events, probably simply through not having the appropriate role models who could teach me how to counteract that negative thinking. And it's HARD to change that thinking. It's relentless, esp when I'm being triggered.

    What do you think?

    Hugs,

    J*

  8. Matchy69
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    5 February 2021 in reply to Jstar49

    Hi Jstar I think the things that has happened to me in my childhood has shaped my life and has the effect I want to make my children's lives better then mine.I have them in small country schools instead of the larger city schools I went to and got lost in the system and the teachers didn' care.I was speaking to a retired teacher and she said to me the smaller schools are so much better and they are able help the students individually unlike in a bigger school.

    Tale care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Matchy69
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    5 February 2021
    My son got an award today for being responsible.A great start to the year for him.
    3 people found this helpful
  10. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    5 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    Great to hear Mark, good job to him. I bet you're proud, I'm proud of him. Good effort, well done.
    1 person found this helpful
  11. Matchy69
    Valued Contributor
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    6 February 2021
    I will see how I go this weekend with my son as his psychiatrist wants him not to have one of his medications on the weekend only during the week when he is at school.I am a bit nervous I Wil be able to manage him ok.
    1 person found this helpful
  12. Jstar49
    Jstar49 avatar
    824 posts
    6 February 2021

    Hey Mark,

    That's great about your sons award. What a good start to the year for him!

    Good luck with trialling the break from medication. Tell us how you go!

    Maybe it's a chance for some nature time. I always find that water is soothing.

    I'm sure you already know this but many ppl underestimate the importance of regular nutritious meals/snacks and rest alternating with activity. If you factor in your own limitations/tiredness then it won't take you by surprise.

    Cheers

    J*

  13. Matchy69
    Valued Contributor
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    7 February 2021
    Hi I have found that not giving my son his medication in the morning made him really tired and fell asleep yesterday and today.Not sure if it was the reason for it.His behaviour was ok and didn't notice much difference o my him being really tired.
  14. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    7 February 2021
    Hi Mark, I'm thinking of you.
  15. Jstar49
    Jstar49 avatar
    824 posts
    7 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark,

    doesn’t sound like that’s what you were expecting! How interesting! I wonder what the Dr will have to say about it.
    how are you feeling now? Did you do any damage with all your hard work?

  16. Matchy69
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    8 February 2021 in reply to Jstar49
    I was very nervous taking him off that medication for the weekend.No notice of and behaviour change only tiredness.He goes back to the doctor on the 19th this month.Not sure what she will make of it.I might google the medication again.Je is on a few different ones.I know the doctor is worried about his weight as he never seems to put any on He eats a lot at my house and the doctor says it's a medication thing.I was skinny as a child like h and am now 100kgs.I will see how he goes at school this week and if their is any change to his behaviour at school.
    Take care,
    Mark
  17. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    8 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    Hey Mark, I'm sorry to hear about your son. You're a great Dad and person.
    1 person found this helpful
  18. Matchy69
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    10 February 2021
    The good news at my son's school is the principle from year is still there after being told she had left the other one was coming back.My son is making it through to 3pm everyday.
    My daughter didn't go Monday as she was sick in the stomach again.She has had that many test done but not getting any real answers.I think it is real and not just anxiety.It is going to be a long year trying to get her through her final year of school.She usually gets straight A's and will get two TAFE certificates at the end of the year as well as the one she already has.
    3 people found this helpful
  19. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    10 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    Sorry to hear about all of that Mark, I hope your kids and you feel better soon.
  20. Matchy69
    Valued Contributor
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    11 February 2021
    A bit shaken at the moment as the house across the road from my kids has just burnt down.A really scarey thing.
    1 person found this helpful
  21. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    11 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    That's terrible Mark, I'm so sorry. I hope you and the owners of the house are ok
  22. Ggrand
    Community Champion
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    Ggrand avatar
    9046 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hello Dear Mark...

    Im really sorry to hear that...I can understand how that would have been very hard to see.....hope everyone that lived their are safe...That’s the main thing Mark...

    Are you okay Mark?..Here if you need to talk...

    Kind thoughts with care dear Mark..

    Grandy..

  23. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    11 February 2021 in reply to Missing user
    I hope your kids are ok too Mark
  24. Matchy69
    Valued Contributor
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand
    The police said the fire was started in a car from mice eating wires that was parked next to the house.Their is a nice plague here at the moment.When I was a child the house across the road from me burnt down.Bought back some scarey memories.
  25. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    11 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    That's terrible, I hope everyone's ok Mark. I hope you didn't have flashbacks. They should do something about the mice, that's disgusting
  26. Ggrand
    Community Champion
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    Ggrand avatar
    9046 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Mark...That’s so possible..In my other house, the mice ate through the chord of my micro wave and when I put it on..their was a bright light and it blew my power off...

    Oh Yes mice plague...we have them everywhere here...I am thankful that they are the field mice and not the sewage mice that live in the city...

    Mark...Please try to distract those triggering thoughts if you can..with something you like doing that you need to concentrate on while doing it...if that makes sense....

    When you lie down tonight to sleep..if your mind starts getting chatty with you about today...could you try to listen to a Dan Jones Sleep story...If your minds wanders away from his words and story..just gently acknowledge those thoughts then bring your mind back to the story...he has a soothing voice...just thought I would mention what works for me a lot of the time....

  27. Matchy69
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    11 February 2021
    Just listening to music
  28. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    11 February 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    I hope you, your kids and everyone else in the street are ok Mark.

    What type of music do you like, and which bands and singers?

  29. Matchy69
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    12 February 2021
    Hi Tayla I put on The Beatles like music from the 60s, 70s and 80s.My era of music.My son puts on a best of 1980s cd to go to sleep to..
    2 people found this helpful
  30. Matchy69
    Valued Contributor
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5818 posts
    12 February 2021
    I woke a few times last night after some nightmares bringing back a few scarey memories.I hope the kids are ok as I know these things can effect you long term.A bit of a weird feeling this morning for me.

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