Thank you for your support and replies Happy Chemicals and Juliana 15. I appreciate it all so much.
I can't say that things have improved on my end. However, I am still here and just trying to get through a day (sometimes an hour) at a time.
My husband went to speak to the GP again yesterday, as after 3 weeks on medication he is still experiencing side effects and not feeling any better. So he is starting on something different today. I guess it will take another few weeks to see whether this is more effective for him. He has his second session with the counsellor on Friday so I guess I will check in with him on how that goes.
The advice from my GP was basically everything I know - She told me to stop asking him questions (because she believes that it is difficult for him to answer) and to also continue trying to find ways to show him I love him, as well as not giving up. I guess it is the most human advice that anyone can give me, as I think there really is no professional advice that will really make any difference as each situation is unique.
I did try to talk to him last night, to tell him that I don't want to argue. And that I know how he feels about my actions, or lack of action. But I know it is too late for me to change that. But I also think that it's not too late for us to find a way through this, together. I told him that I know it's just the beginning, and that it won't be easy. But I will support and love him through this.
I did ask him to look me in the eyes. He did, instinctively I guess, for a brief moment. In that moment I managed to tell him I love him, before he looked away. I guess in that moment maybe he actually saw me again, and it was too much for him to deal with right now? I can only guess, because I tried to get him to look at me again, and he sat for a long time and I could see in his eyes how much he was battling with what to do. In the end, he couldn't do it, and I told him I love him one more time, gave him a kiss on the forehead and left (he said I was annoying him).
He said he won't look at me because he just doesn't care (he didn't explicitly say he doesn't care about me so I will try not to take that personally).
I really don't know if any of this is making a difference. I can only hope that he hears me, even if he doesn't respond. Or that when the fog lifts, he will remembers these moments and we can find each other again...