Nice to hear from you. I'm glad you went to see your husband's GP. Hopefully you can accompany him to his next appointment and I hope his appointment with the psychologist went well.
Thanks for checking in on me. The appointment was this morning and I did not speak to my husband before. My SIL reminded him about it, and he came. It was difficult.
A lot of it was focused on him. When asked about our issues, he surprisingly went first and said that he felt I didn't care about what he was going through and so he felt no need to communicate with me. He then went on to tell the psychologist about his depression.
My husband made it very clear that he expected me to know what to do for him, without him having to tell me. He told the psychologist that if he has to ask me for help, or tell me what he needs, then whatever I do is no longer genuine. I guess I didn't know what to expect, but I did think that the psychologist would be more passive and neutral. But she questioned him a lot and basically told him that he can't have expected me to be a mind reader, and that he needs to start communicating with me. It was interesting for me to hear him say what I had already guessed (that he expected me to be a mind reader) but also interesting to hear a 3rd party say the things that I have been feeling.
I didn't say much, I only spoke when the psychologist asked me questions directly.
I don't know how my husband felt about the appointment. Huge assumption, but if I was him, I'd have been annoyed with the questions she asked. But that is me assuming because he is always annoyed at me when I ask those same questions. Maybe hearing it from a 3rd person is what he needs. However, I can tell that he is not in a very good place by what he was saying.
Because of this, I thought he wasn't ready to deal with relationship counselling. And I still don't think he's really ready, but I do also think that it is better for us to start communicating now even if it is only in front of someone else.
She has asked us to try to spend time together, sitting on the couch or going for a walk. We both reluctantly agreed to this. And he also agreed, although I still felt reluctantly, to see her again in two weeks.
Today was pretty raw. However I at least know what he is thinking, whether I agree with it or not is a different story. For tonight though, I am pretty exhausted. So I will take some time for me, before I try to ask him to spend some time together.