Thanks you for your reply KG82. It all makes sense.
So we did talk last night. It wasn't great, but it wasn't the worst. I tried to stick to my main points and not get too side tracked.
I told him that while I am glad that his friends are comfortable giving him advice on strategies on how to deal with his depression and that he is taking it on board and it is working, I am just not comfortable in providing him that type of support. I apologised for that, but said that that doesn't mean I don't care. It is just not the sort of support I am comfortable providing him right now. I have my reasons, which I didn't go into as I didn't want to spend too much time on that topic, but I did want to acknowledge the support his friends are providing him.
I told him that instead, I thought that us spending time together again, talking about stuff, both good and bad, and just doing things together, was making him happy. Because I have felt happy in those moments. Not all the time, and not enough or not the way that it used to be, but I felt that it was a start to rebuilding some of the things that we had lost. I admitted that there was a lot about our life that I missed, but that I knew that we weren't going to go back to that, but had hoped that we starting to build something better, and something more genuine because we had come from such a bad place and we are still here together.
I also said that I thought the nights he would let me hold him when I felt he needed a hug, had provided him some comfort. And that I thought that I was giving him the support that he needed from me. And that I'm sorry that he didn't feel the same.
I said that I wished he had raised it in one our sessions. But he said that he had felt happy, and that it was working. But that he had suddenly remembered the past and how he had felt. Which I acknowledged is going to happen from time to time. And we can't forget it, but we can use it as a reminder to us of where we once were, and how we've moved forward from that. That was basically the end of our conversation.
I asked if we could talk in a few days, and he said we could if I want.
I think he is just being human, and that the memories and feelings have resurfaced, as they do for me too from time to time. While I deal with those feelings internally, he deals with them by taking it out on me. Which is not ideal. But something that we need to work on. All in all I think there are still some positive signs and I will continue to write here.