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Topic: Supporting ex boyfriend who is currently staying in a Mental Health unit.

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Kipvee
    Kipvee  avatar
    1 posts
    25 August 2021

    My ex boyfriend (from 7 years ago) is currently and inpatient at a Mental health unit, he suffers from psychosis and drug addiction and a lot of other mental health issues.

    We have spoken on and off over the years and last time he got put in hospital I was the only person he had to talk to.

    -I am married and have two children

    -My husband supports me in my decisions

    what I want advance on, can bring a support person for someone you once had a romantic relationship with be bad for there recovery or is it possible to keep it as a close friendship support person without hindering his rehabilitation

  2. james1
    Community Champion
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    james1 avatar
    2936 posts
    25 August 2021 in reply to Kipvee

    Hello Kipvee,

    I'm sorry to hear you're in this tricky situation. It sounds like you've moved on from that relationship and you have the full support of your current husband, which is fantastic, but now you are unsure about how to maintain this old friendship.

    I understand your ex boyfriend is quite alone in his mental health issues, and you still care about him and want him to get through it. This puts a lot of pressure on you as, possibly, one of the few people who is actually supporting him. Can I suggest you have a quick look at this page I've linked below, if you haven't already? It is really important to make sure you are mentally well because it is nearly impossible to support someone in a helpful and healthy way, if you're also not coping. Unfortunately, the stress of supporting others can really creep up on us.

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/looking-after-yourself

    I think the direct answer of whether your support is overall helpful or not, is going to depend on a lot of factors so it is quite difficult to know what to do. It may not be healthy for him to be overly reliant on you, and he needs to have a wider network of support people. But at times, people who are really struggling will need to lean more heavily on certain trusted individuals like yourself, so that is to be expected as well. I think my advice here would be to see what his doctors are suggesting, and if that aligns with your goals as well, to encourage him to work through that professional advice.

    What are your thoughts? It sounds like you've given this a bit of thought recently.

    James

  3. Positive_vibes89
    Community Champion
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    Positive_vibes89  avatar
    80 posts
    25 August 2021 in reply to Kipvee

    Dear Kipvee,

    You have a very kind heart to support your ex boyfriend and you have a wonderful husband who understands. You have your own family to take care of and he is not your responsibility. Like James1 said, it can have a mental toll on your own emotional wellbeing and you must take care of yourself first. Being in a mental health unit he will have access to supports within the unit and it is their obligation to ensure that he is connected to supports outside of that unit as well. I agree what James1 is suggesting, talk to the mental health unit staff and doctors about what they best recommend for you to do in your situation. Sometimes we need to be a little selfish when it comes to own on mental health and wellbeing. We need to put ourselves first, he is in a good place where people can give him professional care.

    But your children, husband and yourself come first.

    All the best

    Tee

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