You sound as though you’re a very loving, caring, devoted & supportive partner. You clearly love your girlfriend very much, & it shows through your actions. I think she’s very fortunate to have you in her life :)
But it also sounds as though you’re starting to feel understandably overwhelmed & perhaps even emotionally burnt out. The double emotional strain of working in an emotionally charged field then coming home to emotionally support your girlfriend is a lot for any one person, even if you love your girlfriend very much...I really feel for you...
I think reaching out here is a wonderful step forward. I’ve heard of people saying “carers need care too.” I know you’re her partner & not her carer, but I think the same principle applies.
My gentle suggestion is something along the lines of, love with boundaries. What I mean by that is we can continue supporting loved ones, but in a way that doesn’t mean we end up highly emotionally depleted or burnt out.
I’m happy to share some suggestions, & you can see if you like those ideas or not. If you don’t like them/think they’re unsuitable, that’s of course okay, we can continue brainstorming :)
- Try to find some time to pursue your own interests (e.g. sports, art, etc)
- Try to spend some time apart (not all the time but sometimes) to maintain a sense of “self.” For example, you might like to see your family or friend’s, go for a walk by yourself, get a coffee alone, etc.
- Openly communicate with her that you’re also struggling & would like some support yourself. I completely understand that sometimes relationships mean one person ends up supporting the other person more at times, because of circumstances or mental/physical health issues. But long-term/overall, I think it helps in most cases to have that imbalance restored where it’s more reciprocal/mutual.
- Consider seeking emotional support yourself from professionals. For example, if you haven’t already, maybe you could make an extended appointment with a GP & explain that you’re struggling & ask if they have any suggestions, recommendations or referrals.
- Perhaps have set days each week where it’s your relaxation time, during which, she’s not come to you with her troubles.
As I said, I think you’re a wonderful partner & I hope things work out for your mood/emotionally.
There’s obviously no rush or pressure, but if & when you feel like writing, I would like to hear how you have been since your first post :)
Kind & caring thoughts,