Thank you for being brave enough to voice your story. I'm new to this forum, but feel like your story resonates with me. I'm currently away from family overseas , with no way to get home in a hurry, and even though I am with my partner of 7 years, I feel incredibly lonely. My anxiety and depression is hard to keep under control, and I put on a brave face to work colleagues and my family, but the stress and pressure is sometimes so overwhelming! I feel like I cant talk to my partner either, so am bottling it all up inside. Im nearing 40 and desperately want children, but there are so many obstacles in my way, that are out of my control, and I feel so helpless. My partner suffers from ED, so I'm dealing with feelings of rejection and being unloved, on top of missing my chances of motherhood - I'm so angry at this, but can't show it, as i want to be supportive - but it is ruining any last bit of self esteem I have left. without my family for support, i feel like I'm drowning, and don't know what to do.
I guess it makes it easier knowing there are other smart, brave people out there dealing with similar issues, and that we are not alone. Everyone has baggage, and it always feels heavier when you cant share it with others. Even though I am in a partnership, I still feel so lonely, and am doing all the heavy lifting, its exhausting and sometimes I wonder if it is worth it. people put on a front too, making out that their relationships are perfect, but behind closed doors, a lot are suffering in silence.
Keep working on yourself, and remind yourself everyday that you matter and make a difference in others lives, even if you are not aware of it 💛