I go by the name of Mrs. Dools. I reached out to this site at a time when I was deeply depressed and riddled with stress. I was at my wits end and didn't know where to turn.
The support, help, advice, care, empathy, and understanding I have received has helped me greatly. I now hope to be able to return all of that to others who are reaching out for understanding and support.
I've been diagnosed with depression and stress, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, unresolved grief issues and other stuff I have forgotten. I am not these illnesses, they shape my life to some degree but they do not have to determine who I am.
I'm 50 years old, I work caring for the elderly, have joined the Country Fire Service, enjoy gardening, many different crafts and would love to do a parachute jump, go for a long ride on a Harley Davidson and try scuba diving.
Over the years I have relied on alcohol for a while to get me through, had a rather trying marriage to a guy who used me as a punching bag, have lost 5 babies during pregnancy, endured a quite severe back injury, been hospitalised a couple of times due to depression and had plenty of thoughts about suicide.
Despite those issues, life is fulfilling most of the time! I have my good and bad days like a lot of people, I try to find something to be thankful for each day and that helps me through.
Mt heart breaks when I read some of the stories that are posted here and I just want to reach through the screen and give that person a hug and to let them know that someone does care.
Feeling alone and like no one cares can be so devastating. I have a husband of over 20 years, two sisters and my parents are still alive, I have friends also, but sometimes they just don't get it! We all need to feel loved and cared for.
I'd like to encourage all of you reading this to reach out to someone in your life whom you feel might be struggling right now. If you are having a rough time yourself, let someone know.
Thanks Beyond Blue for such a wonderful, helpful, supportive site!
Cheers to you all from Mrs. Dools