Hi there Dishe.
I'm so sorry for the excruciating emotional pain this must be causing for you.
I am also estranged from family and do know that there is that unbelievably notoriously iron clad inbuilt part of human beings that will always gravitate toward hungering for family, whether it's comforting, destructive, easy or impossible. And when the lean is toward the latter, it is a very painful situation to live with.
For me (and others I've known in similar situations) one of the first ideas to work on has been examining the things there is an urge to do, and comparing it to the reality of whether it would be constructive, and also helpful toward a goal (and whether that goal is fair and good for everyone involved too.)
It's such a huge, huge and painful thing to look directly at, but a lot of times a situation can be made worse by following urges without considering why they're there and whether succeeding with whatever the urge pushes to do would even be as useful as we might think.
I've had to radically accept that at this point, my estrangement from family has happened, and, in terms of my planning for the future with my day to day actions, isn't changing. Sometimes the difficulty of living with a difficult truth is the back and forth denial of it; could this be different? Maybe if I could change it if I just... xyz.
If I think about other situations that can't be changed, like the loss of a child to death, a permanent disability someone has acquired etc, and treat my situation like that, the grieving process and learning to live with radically accepting the situation and trying to live from with in it, though still painful, at least makes a lot more sense and is able to go through gradual stages of moving on.
Consider the loss of a child through death - you might never stop missing the child, and it's not like that pain would go away. But there can be a process through which you can learn to live within the new paradigm, of living with and through that pain, and gradually finding other life focuses to lean into and give your life meaning in other ways.
In short, the first wrestle is finding acceptance of your situation. And, if some part of you is still hoping to change it, I have found that the more you accept what is, the closer you might actually be to finding an approach that can be grounded in wisdom rather than emotional reactiveness.
Let me say again how I recognise the validity of the emotional pain you must be feeling (missing family). <3