I am pleased to hear from you anytime, even if things are bad. I must admit I had to look up cotards syndrome, it sounded most frightening and provably disorienting to.
Having these illnesses you really do need lots of support, and it is a great shame you do not have it.
May I ask if you have a good medical team? GP, psychiatrist etc? I've found it makes an awful lot of difference to find competent people that understand and are able to deal with things.
I don't know if you are the same but I've actually found being in hospital has helped - but then again maybe I have been lucky. Do you mind if I ask if you have been hospitalized, and if so how you found it?
One of the things I became able to do sitting on the ward was read, to bury myself in different happier worlds that make me forget the real world for a little while. For me it made a huge difference.
Do you have any pastimes you can look forward to and enjoy?
Distraction and enjoyment