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Topic: Husband is missing

11 posts, 0 answered
  1. GANFRED
    GANFRED avatar
    2 posts
    24 October 2020
    Almost 3 weeks ago my husband left work and did not come home. He was located by police 1 week after and declined his whereabouts to be disclosed but he stated he would be going home in a few days he just needed to clear his head. 2 weeks have now passed since being located and he has not returned home and I have had no contact from him. I am beside myself and at a loss as to what to do with myself. We have had a hard time for a while after he was in an accident and I feel that he has had a mental break down or something. Please any ideas on how to find him or what to do would be greatly appreciated.
    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    3679 posts
    24 October 2020 in reply to GANFRED
    Hey GANFRED,

    Welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to reach out and join us here. We're so sorry to hear that you haven't had any contact with your husband, we understand that this must be a really stressful and overwhelming situation to be going through. We hope that you have someone you can talk to and some support during this time, and we hope that you find these forums to be a safe, non-judgemental space to talk what you're going through, and how you're feeling. Our thoughtful community is here to help support you through this, and are here to offer as much advice and conversation as you need.

    If you feel up to it, we would also encourage you to talk these feelings through with our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to help offer support, advice and referrals to help you during this difficult time. In addition to this, our lovely friends at Lifeline are available 24/7 on 13 11 14 or through online chat (7pm-12am AEST) whenever things are feeling like too much to cope with.

    We hope that you can find some comfort here from our supportive members, and please feel free to post further to tell us more about what's on your mind, whenever you feel up to it.


     
    2 people found this helpful
  3. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8366 posts
    24 October 2020 in reply to GANFRED
    Hi, welcome

    I'm sorry for what has occurred.

    I spent 18 years as a private investigator. In the short term if he doesn't want to be found he won't be. In the longer term there is a better chance because he might reestablish his life with power, gas etc...tracable in some circumstances.

    Even so, if he doesn't want to be in contact he'll reject all approaches.

    The best chance is he'll get tired of the nomadic life and return. The first few hours is then crucial. A quiet supportive cuppa, keep your distance and wait for him to indicate he wants a long chat.

    I'm sorry, I don't have any answers

    TONYWK
    1 person found this helpful
  4. GANFRED
    GANFRED avatar
    2 posts
    24 October 2020 in reply to white knight

    Thankyou TONYWK .....

    To say this was unexpected is an understatement and has left me absolutely lost.

    I am just sitting in limbo hoping that he will just come back..... and I want nothing more than to just sit and listen to what ever he has to say....

    2 people found this helpful
  5. zani
    zani avatar
    11 posts
    17 November 2020 in reply to white knight

    Can people be found?? If they start a new job they would have to use real name etc.

    I just want to know that my husband of 40 years is ok & send a letter to him

  6. zani
    zani avatar
    11 posts
    17 November 2020 in reply to GANFRED

    I really feel your pain mine left for work last week & never came home after 40 years married.I messaged to see when he would be home & got a message back saying he has ended our marriage & quit his job,& not to call as he has blocked me.This is like living your worst nightmare.No one knows where he is.I like you are am in unbearable pain & lost.Can't eat or sleep, he was my world,my life.Has at least contacted aughter but told her that he will never see or speak to me ever again.The shocker is he told her he was waiting for me to die but I am still here!! What kind of monster says this to their child. I really want answers as I am shattered & so broken.

  7. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    3679 posts
    17 November 2020 in reply to zani
    Dear Zani,

    We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear how painful it all is . Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

    We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
    Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 
     
  8. zani
    zani avatar
    11 posts
    17 November 2020 in reply to Sophie_M
    Thank you I have just called your helpline,so nice to hear a real person to talk to
    1 person found this helpful
  9. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    8273 posts
    17 November 2020 in reply to GANFRED

    ganfred and zani ,

    Ganfred I wonder if you have any updates on your husband since your last post. The not knowing must be so overwhelming.

    Zani I am glad you spoke to the help line and you could reach out here.

    By both of you writing here you have helped others in a similar situation not feel alone as many people read these posts and don’t comment.

    Feel free to post here as much as you like, there is support here.,

    1 person found this helpful
  10. zani
    zani avatar
    11 posts
    18 November 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    I just feel so alone,hurt & shattered.Really hard to function.Not knowing where a person is after 40+ years is so painful & do not really have any family to be here for me.I do not work so no income.I am so lost

  11. zani
    zani avatar
    11 posts
    19 November 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Updates are I was married to a split personality as have found out he was hiding a lot of money & had been transferring to a secret bank account.I feel so cheated,stupid,trusting etc.

    Just feel I wasted 40 years.Now I never want to see him again.

    I cannot forgive someone for leading this double life & telling people absolute lies about me

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