Welcome to the Healthy Families forums!

This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own!

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community and have a read of the community rules. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

  • share on Facebook
  • share on Twitter
  • Print page

Topic: I’m new - and complex

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. JaneBl
    JaneBl avatar
    0 posts
    3 January 2020

    Hi guys,

    So I finally took the plunge and joined the forum. I thought I might be too complex for this forum, but a basic search showed me a thread with similar issues to mine. So I jumped in.

    I have complex health issues which have recently led to depression and anxiety for the first time. I have had an autoimmune disease for the past 15 years but recently it has gotten worse. I am facing the real possibility of surgery this year, maybe multiple surgeries. And I am only in my thirties.

    This is the bit that is getting to me. I am generally a very resilient person. I have a lot of beautiful people and things in my life and am grateful every day for these. I see plenty of good and beauty in the world. But when I think about getting multipole surgeries, including joint replacements, before I am forty, I find myself sliding down into a dark place.

    Any stories from others with complex health issues, autoimmune disease, chronic pain or chronic illness in general, would be most appreciated.

    I do not need a lot of advice - I am a psychologist by training - but what I really need right now is to know I am not alone.

    I look forward to getting to know you all in the forums.

    Warm regards,

    Jane.

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    2075 posts
    4 January 2020 in reply to JaneBl

    Hi Jane, welcome here,

    I hear you. There is a lot of people that dont discuss their "multiple" disabilities so we the community often dont have a real grip on the extent of that. Hence when it happens to us we think "why me" based on that.

    I'm 63yo, at 24yo in 1979, my older brother suicided and from then on my life seemed unique to me- a story of being worse off. My uncle went the same way so this endorsed my view. Then in the next two decades- back injury, marriage break up with kids, my own suicide attempt and my sisters, my father my only real rock passed on and then the challenges of being diagnosed with bipolar and dysthymia. Recently I've had deep vein thrombosis and arthritis in both knees.

    However, I also recently built my second caravan, prior to that built my own house - alone! How? and how did I overcome these odds mentally?

    Well the secret isnt such a secret, it is discovering positive thinking and that changed my life remarkably. It turned out I was indeed a negative thinker (as were my family members). I attended one motivational speech (see the thread below) and in 30 minutes my life changed.

    For example- when I first had my back injury I needed to take medicine daily, then as the other issues came along more tablets became daunting until I realised- if I'm taking one tablet, what is the real difference in taking 5 or 10 more?

    There are other ways to look at these challenges, but it is far better to ask you to read the first post of the following threads I've written on the topic.

    Please google-

    Beyondblue topic 30 minutes can change your life

    Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

    Beyondblue topic the frog and the scorpion

    Beyondblue topic do we expect a smooth road in life?

    Beyondblue topic the balance of your life

    Beyondblue topic switching mindsets

    Beyondblue topic saving yourself from doom

    I hope you get some benefit from those above. As you'd be aware managing your life with your illnesses to achieve the maximum of what you can is the aim.

    Repost anytime

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Charlie2006
    Charlie2006 avatar
    2 posts
    4 January 2020 in reply to JaneBl

    Hi Jane,

    our situation sounds pretty simular, I've always had a weak immune system, and have joint and chest constantly. When I was younger I was always sick, but I've kind of plateaued and my health isn't as bad now. I know that it is hard dealing with chronic pain, but that's why there are forums like this, to help people who need it :)>

    3 people found this helpful
  4. JaneBl
    JaneBl avatar
    0 posts
    5 January 2020 in reply to Charlie2006

    Thanks Charlie,

    I appreciate you reaching out to let me know I am not alone. I am not used to being sick like this - I grew up generally healthy, a little accident-prone, but nothing major. It has been a rough ride, getting used to the idea of having surgery early in life. There is not much I can do, except reach out in places such as this.

    Thanks again,

    Jane.

  5. JaneBl
    JaneBl avatar
    0 posts
    5 January 2020 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony,

    I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me.

    While I can see you are into the positive psychology movement, that is not really what I am here for. I am not looking for advice. I do not want CBT or mindfulness or any other tools. Being a psychologist by training, I feel I am already thoroughly acquainted with these.

    I am an optimist. As I stated, I see beauty in the world every day, and I am profoundly grateful for what I have and where I am. I do not have a vitcimt mentality of “Why me?” I am simply having trouble digesting the very real possibility of having major surgery in my thirties. I feel very alone in this.

    Rather than sending me links and telling me what I should be doing, I would prefer to simply know that I am not the only one facing such obstacles.

    Thanks in advance,

    Jane.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    2075 posts
    5 January 2020 in reply to JaneBl

    Hi Jane

    I hope you find what you are seeking

    TonyWK

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up