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Topic: Introducing mmMekitty

  1. mmMekitty
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    13 September 2021

    I am mmMekitty, named for my cat, (my avatar), who lived 7 years. It has been five or so years since, but I still miss her. Mekitty an I had a simpler relationship than any I have had with people.

    The photo is the one I to retrieved after my hard drive crashed. She had wandered off, was away for six days, when she turned up again in the middle of the night. I cried with relief. This was the photo I used for her Lost Cat poster I put up around the neighbourhood at the time.

    As for me, I cannot see the detail of the photo nearly as well as I did then, and then my sight was poor. I am now using text-to-speech software, zooming on my pc, voice over. Since I find this stuff difficult, I get really frustrated.

    I used to keep all my emotions in check, so much so, I thought and said I did not have any feelings or reactions to anything. That changed and I could not deny the existence of my emotions. It was a terrifying time. What was happening to me? I was falling apart and all this unidentifiable stuff was pouring out.

    I have had to learn so much since I began seeing the Psychiatrist I saw back then (1993 - 95). From learning I had to put words to the experiences, name, own, accept them. Still uncomfortable. I beat up on myself too much, I know.

    I used to do things I can no longer do to my own satisfaction. I still sing, but not like I used to. I cannot paint like I did. I cannot use pen and paper to write, so have managed to adapt to keyboard. That is something. I have been working on being more sociable, less isolated, but last year, when COVID-19 retrictions required face masks be worn, I found I could not - which is what brings me here.

    I have had to curtail so much of what I had been doing. I am feeling the isolation now. How ironic! I resisted even thinking I needed anybody, then I try to have some friends, join a writers' group, get help with things like housework and shopping, going to places for fun and entertainment, only to have to withdraw again because I cannot wear a mask. It bites, like a scorpion.

    I will make a thread, now I found the place to click to create one! I think my problem was with how I have my desktop appearance. It looks like any ordinary link, hiding below another, for creating a feed link. Now I know.

    I suppose I will get around to talking more about myself. I will need to be careful about how involved I become, so please, don't expect me to pop up everywhere. I would burn out if I did that.

    (Purring) mmMekitty

  2. Positive_vibes89
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    13 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hello and welcome! We never forget our beloved pets, their memories stay with us forever. Our animals are like our children. I have two cats myself, they drive me crazy sometimes but I love them. What would you like to specifically talk about? I am all ears (screen).

    Tee

  3. Croix
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    13 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Dear mmMekitty~

    I would like to join Tee in giving you a warm welcome here. We are warm and gentle people, and have each undergone hardship which lends patience and understanding to others - and fosters a desire to help others.

    I'm glad your cat came back, it would have been an almost unbearable worry. Do you plan on gettng another anytime? I believe they make a dwelling into a home. Ours is ruled by Sumo Cat, who regards us as his staff and door-openers.

    At present he is miffed because the weather is cold and we will not open the door into summer for him.

    Being forced by circumstances into an alien world of technology is a right pain, and there are so many new ideas and methods to grasp. Then learning the skills to use them with facility. Do you have a guru you can ask about technical things?

    Navigating this Forum is not particularly easy, but you are mastering it.

    I found it interesting you were talking about the things you used to do, sing, paint, write and so on. Would you like to talk about the opposite, the things you enjoy where you listen perhaps. I'm an avid reader and also enjoy music (much of which I have found out about here from other people).

    Do you have equivalents?

    It may be a while -or perhaps never, that you wish to talk about problems -that's fine, you say whatever you wish and it will be welcome.

    As a change of pace can I offer you a link to a thread where people store their happy memories away for a later day (or for the benefit of others). It is interesting what people fondly remember and raises memories of my own

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/store-your-happy-memories-here-

    I look forward to talking with you some more

    Croix

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  4. mmMekitty
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    15 September 2021 in reply to Croix

    Hi Cruix,

    Thank you for responding.

    As my sight had deteriated, it was getting harder to look after Mekitty, so, no, I am not planning on having another cat. I almost did, in Dec 2019 when a tiny black kitten found my back door. I could hardly believe it, but she walked in, stepping on my foot, and I held her, and she was hot with life! I knew I could not keep her and had to call a Vet. Later they said the person who came to get her had decided to keep her.

    Mekitty had become ill very quickly,. I took her to the local Vet where she died overnight of a heart condition the Vet had not anticipated.

    I will use that link and write some memories. Thanks for that.

    This place I live at is not good for keeping pets. She had to stay indoors, and I did feel bad about that, but I worried too much about not being able to find her when she did get out.

    I am still having trouble finding that tab for creating New Threads. The things I want to talk about really ought to go into another section, dealing with PTSD and Panic, I think.

    I still write. I must write, as the most direct way I have for expressing myself. It works for me. Typing is not quite as direct as pen to paper once was. I have learned much about not censoring myself, but I do edit. I feel I have to be mindful of what I write here, how I will have to choose and not use bad language, or be explicit, which, when I feel the impulse to to just get it out I tend to do.

    I have lost about half my vocal range and control. Singing had once been as necessary as breathing. I could put on emotion according to the performer's song and what it expressed, rather than acknowledge my own. I still sing, but it is not so enjoyable knowing I have been able to sing so much better before. I used to like the challenge when a song was difficult. Attempting everything from Tracy Chanpman to Cleo Lane. My most beloved singer/songwriter (and painter) is Joni Mitchell. I could never thank her enough for the music she has made. Even before I heard Joni, I had found singing was something I could do that no one could take away, when I heard Melanie (Safka). She was a life line when I was 13.

    The tech is mostly My Memory problem. So much needs to be remembered to do things via the keyboard. I want to see stuff I really can't do comfortably. I dislike synthetic voices, but must use them. & getting old, too, I guess.

    I have been through a lot, and it is a bit of a mess in my head. I do have to dig around for the good stuff.

    😸mmM..

  5. Sophia16
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    15 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hey,

    That is an adorable kitty in your profile picture. Tell me more about her. It must have been such a relief when your cat came back home after 6 days! I remember my cat was lost for 3 and I couldn't stop crying.

    May Mekitty rest in peace :(

    Technology can be so difficult sometimes but it looks like you're navigating the forums very well!

    I am glad that expressing yourself through typing has made you feel somewhat better.

    I hope you are staying safe. Always here to chat.

  6. Croix
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    15 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Dear mmMekitty~

    I've just noticed you have managed to make your own thread in the PTSD & Trauma Section, I'll go and read it now

    Just shows one surprise oneself sometimes

    Croix

  7. mmMekitty
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    18 September 2021
    Hello Positiv_Vibes89 and Sophia16,
    Thanks for the welcome.
    Sophie16, I suspect the cat of your avatar is also a great Adorable.
    When I picked up and cuddled the cat at my door that very early morning (well after bedtime(, and no longer than 20 seconds, had to be let down, only then was I certain it was Mekitty.She had lost her collar, and maybe she was returning earlier, because I had been leaving food out, and that was eaten. Or someone else ate it. I will never know.
    There's another Thread, in BB Social section, Topic: PETS - gotta love them. I thought I would send further posts about Mekitty there.
    I will be looking out for you.
    Positive_Vibes89, if only I could have had two or more cats ... I would have had her brother for one ... 😹
    mmMekitty
    1 person found this helpful
  8. mmMekitty
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    18 September 2021 in reply to Croix

    See ya, Croix.

    Would you mind putting the link to Sumo's naming here or 'Pets - gotta love them'

    I can't remember where you had written it. I have been around in circles today ..g ot lost I think, or skipped something....This place is worse than playing the video games I used to play. So much time! In a way I don't mind...maybe I should.

    & that feels like déjà vu... or I am really, really tired.

    mmMekitty

  9. Hanna3
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    3220 posts
    18 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hello mmMekitty,

    Can I introduce myself to you? We seem to share some interests!

    I was in a writer's group and did write a bit for Abc radio several years ago. I trained in singing and used to love painting.

    I love all sorts of music from classical to rock, jazz and blues.

    I play harp and acoustic guitar but not well! I'm having lessons but lockdown is interfering somewhat!

    I'm also not young and losing sight in one eye so the loss of depth perception is a real problem, and I collide with people in crowded places which is awkward.

    I love cats and yours looks gorgeous. My pick is of my little dog Sam after a happy play at the beach.

    Anyway just wanted to say hello and introduce myself and say welcome!

    🙂🎶🐕

  10. Croix
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    19 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Dear mmMekitty~

    Anything to oblige

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/permalink/qltLoXHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

    it was in my conversation with you in the Happy Memories Thread -sing out again if you get stuck, this place is indeed a maze

    Croix

  11. mmMekitty
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    19 September 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna3,

    Happy to meet you.

    I got so annoyed when I could not sings all the range I used to. That led me into classical. Jazz has been lurking around, getting my attention for decades. I had liked Phoebe Snow, and attempted Cleo Lane .V hard! I wanted to though. But it was Joni Mitchell's album Mingus which really got me in. (Have I said I love her?).

    I did enjoy going to the QCGU, at Southbank Brisbane, to hear both classical and jazz performed by students and their teachers. I remember one time, seeing a harpist, how she was leaning back and forth, moving her feet about, with her gown sometimes covering her feet. I thought she must be stepping on the hem. I thought she must be sliding on the seat. I noticed how the harp seemed to be pivoting at the base as she swayed.

    When the concert ended, I simply had to ask her about how she was playing the instrument. I learned it had 7 pedals!

    Another day, I was going up in the tiny lift, when a man carrying a double bass stepped inside with me. I said "Hi", I suppose. I don't recall. Next thing I know he was playing the first of Bach's Cello Suites. Me tingly for two hours! Seeing better then, I noticed how deeply grooved his fingers were. So much effort; so much beauty.

    I do like Elena Katz-Chernin (but I have not got into opera), and Peter Sculthorpe. I would really like more classical/jazz blends.

    With my hearing impairment, tinnitus too, I tend to prefer solo or small ensemble now. Wearing my hearing aid, the violins all have bees in them.

    I enjoy Diana Doherty - seem to recognise her playing.

    My favourite to hear is bass clarinet.

    I would love to play piano. My finger get itchy to do it. I have a silly app on my phone...*sigh*

    ABC has introduced me to a lot of music.

    Oh, these lockdowns ... messing up so many lives. Would that we didn't have to have them. I suppose learning via Zoom is not a viable option?

    I never heard of Zoom until March last year.

    I wish I could still hold a tune. I liked the community via Zoom choir things which were around last year. That first one was so moving. I'd've got Zoom to be involved in something like that.

    As a writer, how do you like the character count? 😼 Too much like a dead-line for me.

    Sam looks like a lot of fun.

    I will keep a look out for your posts.

    mmMekitty

  12. mmMekitty
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    19 September 2021 in reply to Croix

    Hello Croix,

    Thanks for the web address. If you intended it to be a live link, it did not work. But I copied and pasted it browser and just like the magic good tech is supposed to be, I was there!

    Lovely story. You do have a way with words and story telling. That was well worth the effort (I wish I had made).

    I trust you never have, nor ever will put Sumo Cat in a Mawashi. Not that a cat could not be a Sumo Master; I mean, there's a problem with what to do with the tail. Adjustments would have to be made.

    I been doing online food shopping today. I notice I spend more when doing online shopping than I would if I was going to the shop, even with someone, who sometimes notices and mentions products I don't. She is v mischievous noticing new flavours of chips, or if certain chocolates I like are on 'special'.

    I also like to have lunch or a snack when I go out shopping, even if I was only going up for milk!

    I was tempted to go today, just because there is a new fish & chips takeaway shop owner, a refurbished shop, too. I want to check it out. I don't need anything before my online order is delivered.

    mmMekitty

  13. Hanna3
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    3220 posts
    19 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hi mmMekitty

    You're in Queensland you must be warmer than me, I'm in one of the coldest parts of NSW and we're going to have snow in a couple of days! I moved here from the coast just before the terrible bushfires and then covid. Not a good time to move to a new place!

    Joni mitchell is great isn't she? If you like Phoebe Snow, have you tried Nina Simone? She's marvellous.

    My voice is soprano so I really only suited classical music. A contralto voice is nicer for jazz/blues. I sang with several choirs but I couldn't do it now.

    I should have said I play Celtic harp so there are levers to change but no foot pedals like an orchestral harp has, thank goodness! I don't know how they manage all that.

    I follow Josh Lane who is a Canadian harpist on Utube who is wonderful, and also Paul Dooley who plays a wire harp which has a very different sound.

    A great blues guitarist is Justin Johnson in the USA not the English one by the same name.

    I also wish I had played piano. Bass clarinet would be lovely!

    I save good play lists to my tablet so I can listen to them easily.

    I often get caught with the word count here as I go over it too often and have to delete a lot of what I wanted to!

    I tried Zoom recently but didn't like it much. Also Sam found it disturbing and kept barking!

    Have you always lived in Queensland? May I ask what happened to your eyesight if you don't mind saying?

    Lovely to chat! You must miss your lovely cat. I don't know what I'd do without Sam.

    I will try to find your post in the ptsd section.

    Lovely to talk with you!

    🙂🎶

  14. mmMekitty
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    20 September 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi again,

    Snow!😹

    I simply could not fit all the names of people whose music I have enjoyed. I had been drawn to people who write and sing their own songs, and songs I could try to sing. I was in choir for Grade 8 & 9. Things changed after that. We had a wonderful teacher.

    I don't like being fenced in - but I would like a house, yard and v high fence.

    I want to be able to write, sing, play what ever I hear or see in my head. No limits!

    it is fascinating to me to find out how music is made, the instruments and what the musician does as well. How things come together. Little things, like how a fortepiano has pedals for the knees! If I had one, and could play, I'd play 'Knees Up Mother Brown', just for a laugh.

    I do miss going there, but pain & discomfort with sitting for half an hour or more, my hearing, the tinnitus and the imbalance of what I hear between one ear and the other makes it not so enjoyable anymore.

    As for my eyes, my complicated eyes: I began with Rubella Syndrome, and my lenses were cataracted. The left lens was removed when I was ten months old, while the other was not done until I was two years old. I had bifocal glasses from then on, but I never could read with my right eye. & no one knew.

    My Ophthalmologist says it is highly possible I have now got Glaucoma from the Rubella Syndrome. I was diagnosed in 1988. Using eye drops, have had a couple operations on my right eye, and still it has deteriorated so now it sees nothing - except for what my brain is doing to make me think I do see something like a copy of what my left eye is seeing, which is not useful anyway. It is so weird. If I cover my left eye I can't see anything. If I cover my right, I don't even notice. I have lost so much sights, as he explained, my brain is struggling to make sense of the signals & now I & seeing phosphenes lighting up in blotchy colours, so dense they distort the colours thigs ought to be. they brighten & deepen, change hues, swirl or try to make sloppy patterns. Sometimes in a dark room, I see light so bright, I think my eyes ought to be glowing & I should see stuff around me, but nah. Glare is v bad, and geometric patterns I can still see make me feel like I am tripping. Not nice either.

    I can't discern feint, dull colours with certainty.

    Colour has meant a lot to me. I had enjoyed mixing my paint colours. My clothes & things too.

    10y old, I came with my family to Qld from USA.

    Don't like abbreviations, but, letters & spaces add up, until .. oops

    mmMekitty

  15. Croix
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    20 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Dear mmMekitty (with a wave to Hanna3~

    I doubt very much an actual contest of any sort would be Sumo's idea of an appropriate activity -no dignity at all. His idea is to store up rest for when needed (if ever)

    Plus you have it the wrong way round, he tells me what to do. As for his tale you have read that:)

    As it is now wintry he has forsaken his little (well, not that little) platform on the fence post and instead of a morning will fix his gaze on me until I open the front door. He will then move to the top of the first step and sit. If there is a chill in the air or rain or wind he will return inside straight away and accost me for not doing my job properly.

    Being a doorman for a cat with standards is no easy task.

    Music is a large part of your life, is it possible you could play a keyboard? That opens up a whole gateway, including corrections. I Googled "learn keyboard on youtube" and was swamped.

    If I'm mentioning something beyond your capabilities or you have already considered the matter I apologize.

    I tried when I was invalided out (before YouTube came along) and was just sitting at home. A second hand electric keyboard from the thrift shop. I had to paint the letters on the keys and use special music books that matched. Never mastered chords. I guess I was looking for fast easy results, then again no concentration and poor memory serves as an excuse.

    This was also pre Sumo. I had two dogs, one of whom sat up and grinned till he sneezed and the other thought he was an aeroplane and practiced 'circuits and bumps' right around the house at top speed.

    If I forgot to put my earphones on before practice they would decide the far end of the garden ( whch was huge) had suddenly become most interesting.

    Geometric patterns? Well Mandalas are such and have been used to induce a trip like state. Disconcerting and inconvenient if unexpected I'd imagine.

    I like the fact your shopping companion has a sense of humor

    Croix

  16. Hanna3
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    3220 posts
    21 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hi mmMekitty (& to Croix)

    Croix I like the sound of your cat! The keyboard idea sounds good, would that be something you could try mmMekitty?

    The vision problems sound really challenging for you. What a pain. I'm finding just the loss of vision I have had over the last year difficult and fatiguing as everything takes more concentration to do.

    What part of the USA did you come from? I've never been there and I wish I had! Have you ever been back again to visit?

    Music is a wonderful interest isn't it?

    Are you feeling isolated in the lockdowns? I am here. I miss at least going to the library and having a chat with the staff there. The days are all very much the same.

    I got my second AZ vaccination today so that's a relief.

    Do you listen to audio books at all? I think a lot depends on who is reading them but I enjoy them sometimes.

    Very cold here today but not the snow we were hoping for.

    A house and garden and high fence sounds good! Are you in a unit? Are you in a city or regional area?

    I hope your day was OK!

    Fluffy hugs to you from my little dog Sam, who is fast asleep on the couch next to me after a walk and his dinner!

    🙂💗🎶🌷

  17. mmMekitty
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    1 October 2021

    Hi again, nice people, including Sumo. He does sound beautiful.

    Hanna, I forgot the nystagmus! After everything else that seems of no consequence.

    When I was a child, and we played 'stare out', gazing into each others' eyes for as long as we could without blinking, the wobble of my eyes freaked the other kids, so I won!

    I was born near Seattle Washington, but we moved and mostly lived in California and Maryland, which was where we had snow. Our family moved to Qld in 1970. I have been in one suburb or another of Brisbane since I left home. (except for a brief misadventure).

    I hope you, Croix are back, feeling fit and well again, and you have come to read this, too.

    I have thought, I would like to have a real keyboard, because I can't fit a real piano in here. I haven't found an electric piano which would have 'user friendly' controls and not a little screen, which I couldn't read. I would like to play at composing. I have to give in & accept looping portions & overlaying tracks etc. I'm really not past grade 1 playing. & I'll just ignore much of music theory. I invented my own called 'near enough is good enough', or 'if I like it, who else need care?'

    If I had the space and money, I'd get a Stuart & Sons grand piano. If nothing else, it would be a beautiful piece of furniture.

    I wish I could abandon myself to produce in this way if I was to paint again. Just not worry that I cannot aim my brush into the spot I want to fill with colour. So it's a full couple centimetres from the place where, in my mind, it ought to be, so? In my mind it may look perfectly fine!

    I've had some problems around here. Not getting the cheese I had ordered from Coles. my broken Fitovers Sunglasses, my desktop seems to have spawed a second desktop off to the right, which I don't notice until I want to use the zoom. I did something, but I don't know what. My PC's speakers have developed crackly, staticy, and sounds like some tiny critters are chatting in the background. I knocked my fry pan onto the floor - it had a couple eggs still soft and sticky, all over the floor. Positive: not on me! We are still masking (you know, if only I could, I would), so I am stuck, until...& I fear our state may well have some high numbers soon, too. My PDr is away, and I won't talk with him until next Thursday, which is not so long away now. This break of his has been hard.

    Please, cuddle pets for me.

    mmMekitty, 😺❄back soon, after I make a pointy eared snow angel, wot has a tail!

  18. topsy_
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    18 October 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hello mmMekitty,

    I found you! I’m really sorry you have vision problems & can’t enjoy singing as you once did. My vision was very poor in my teens & 20’s & I was convinced I’d be blind in my dotage & not be able to do all the things I love - read, sew, knit, crochet, other crafts etc. But, I was wrong! My vision hasn’t gotten worse, well not wearing glasses at least. And even that has improved since I had my cataracts removed!

    I used to sing too. But I’ve discovered in recent times that it’s a skill lost if it’s not used. And now I can’t sing. I still wish I could but I do enjoy listening to music.

    Now onto our dastardly cat, Fluffy. My youngest daughter got her as a second cat but the two cats hated each other. Their favourite trick was to fight in the middle of the night on my daughter's bed. One of them had to go! And it was Mum to the rescue.

    We already had a dog/pup & while it was obvious she didn’t like him, she tolerated him. She was relatively easy to feed then too.

    BUT - now she bashes our dog up for no other reason than he exists. He likes her but is now terrified of her. It’s really sad to see him so scared. And Fluff has become so difficult to feed. Rule #1 is “if I’ve eaten that brand/flavour yesterday or last week or last month, I won’t eat it today”. I’ve literally spent a fortune trying different brands but as soon as I find one she likes, she won’t eat it!

    I’m being constantly outwitted by a cat! She’s not happy & I’m most definitely not happy.

    Also, early of a morning (6ish) she wants to be let out, fair enough. Out the hallway door, through the laundry window with the fly screen she’s wrecked, then back to the back door to bang constantly on the pet door to be let back in. Now that’s ok, even twice is ok, but 6 times is not okay! But she’ll sit there going bang, bang, bang, until I cave.

    The only thing that maybe might be contributing is she has a heart murmur & bad teeth but we can’t afford the $850 bill to treat that.

    So I’m hoping that you’re experience might see where I’m stuffing up. I’m nearly at the end of my tether with her. I’ve suggested rehoming her but hubby looks very nonplussed. It’s ok for him.

    Any ideas? Please, if it’s too much just say. I won’t be any worse off.

    Thank you for your time, Topsy.

  19. mmMekitty
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    18 October 2021 in reply to topsy_

    Hi Topsy,

    I am no expert is cat behaviour, & how to modify the behaviour is not something I really know much about.

    I only encouraged Mekitty, to be vocal, to come up to me, but for the most part, she did what she wanted. Cats are not so easily trained as dogs.

    When I first got her, the RSPCA had been giving her, & the other kittens (& everyone), dry food. Mekitty didn't like wet food beyond licking the gravy, leaving a very unappetizing mess. My vet assured me dry food was fine, so long as she got plenty of water. She would not drink water from a bowl, (I tried several, maybe she'd like a purple one, a blue one, a porcelain dish, a metal bowl, but all she did was hook her paw & drag it hard enough to spill the water. Even the heavy dish. I ended up holding a cup up to her so, then, she would drink.

    I ended up doing things on her terms.

    For her teeth, my Vet had suggested some expensive dry food. The pieces were 2-3 times the size of other dry food pieces. I didn't have to give her many to keep her teeth clean. Dry food is better for that in the first instance anyway.

    I made a game of giving her these pieces of food, to get her a little exercise.

    I did have a bit of a problem with her wanting to climb the curtains. Fortunately I had very cheap curtains, so I really didn't care. & it was also exercise.

    I wish I could have kept her more playful for longer. We had lots of little games. The best was a scrunched up paper bag on a long string. & her rather expensive tunnel, & my own hands & feet - she really liked those fingers & toes! I had to learn to not let the game get too serious.

    Fluffy sure is a character. I really don't know what I would do about the things most difficult for you. I wish I was more knowledgeable. I wonder if the RSPCA could help any? If so, careful they don't talk you into getting their pet insurance. A friend I knew told me the premium went up 20% each year.

    Our friend Google might help?

    I've gotta eat (late) dinner. I'll be back.

    mmMekitty

  20. mmMekitty
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    18 October 2021 in reply to topsy_

    Hi again, Topsy,

    Forgive me for asking a stupid question, but it is about the pet flap. Does it not swing both ways?

    My father actually had to show our pets how to use it, you know, pushing (gently) their heads into it so it would open & even coaxing them forward through it. If I recall correctly, he did that with both cats and dogs. More than once! Did we have dumb animals, or what?

    Then, if you have a fully functioning pet flap, & Fluffy gets the idea, you might close the bathroom door so Fluffy cannot jump out the busted screen?

    As for the aggression towards Pupdog, I don't know. I wonder how much socialising Fluffy had before coming to live with you?

    I'm sure Mekitty would not have tolerated any other pets. I had not had opportunity to socialise her around other animals for the first year & a half.

    When one of my neighbours got a small dog, & she'd let her play around outside, near my flat, & from inside, sitting on the windowsill, Mekitty hissed and even clawed the window!

    Another time I was taking her up to the Vet. To do that, I had her in her crate, atop my four-wheeled trolley, quite secure, I assure you. We encountered a cat who lived across the road. He was a big ginger, mostly harmless, but Mekitty took exception to him, too. & she hissed & snarled at him. & had a low growling in her throat for other animals at the Vet/s.

    When I was a child, we had lots of room. I think, if any didn't get along, they could easily avoid each other. On the whole, though, I think they were all pretty good. One little Chihuahua cross took to randomly nipping, mostly visitors, on the ankle! Eventually, he had to be removed to another room while we had visitors.

    My dad could train the dogs. The cats rarely seemed to respond to any sort of training. But, Dad could call Dennis (the white cat) from across the road, & Dennis would come. It wasn't for food either.

    Both the cats & dogs liked each other's food. I wouldn't recommend that, as the Vet told me, the nutritional need of cats and dogs is different.

    I wonder , how hungry would Fluffy get before she'd eat food you have provided, even if it was the same brand/flavour as yesterday's? Sounds too cruel - maybe ask the vet about the food...I know I used to feed Mekitty too much. I knew I should have been more disciplined about how much I fed her, & not let her get so fat. The Vet was getting onto me in the few months before she died.

    I will take a look around Googleland & find, hopefully, something.

    😸mmMekitty

  21. topsy_
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    19 October 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hi mmMekitty

    Thank you for your reply/s. I must admit maybe I have got the food thing wrong. I thought because she had bad teeth that the biscuits would hurt her. And she does only lick the jelly from the tin foods. Again I thought the meaty bits must have hurt. I’ve been conned big time me thinks! (Or, more likely, been exceedingly stupid!).

    Fluff really likes Whiskas biscuits. My daughter said they have the most salt & I sensed her disapproval. We always have water on the floor for both animals & they seem happy with that. We have to feed Fluff on the sink to keep her food up from Ted (dog). She likes to graze & if it was on the ground there would be none left later on.

    Fluffy is as her name implies but when you pick her up she is quite scrawny underneath all that fur. We think she is about 10 years old. We’ve had her nearly 6 years, my daughter had her a year or two & she was supposed to have been at the shelter for three years !!!

    With the pet door - where we live is very cold in winter & our lounge room door is a sliding glass door, so the pet door is in the screen door. My husband & I have to take turns on sentry duty opening & shutting the glass door to allow the animals through the pet door. I get up of a morning much earlier than hubby & Fluff drives me berserk with this morning game. Try as I might to ignore her she just keeps on keeping on (a la Berger paints).

    I really appreciate your advice. I’m not a very experienced pet mother. Ted has a few bad habits too but he’s much easier to live with. I think I’m also very much a dog person than a cat person, which I feel guilty about.

    I think I’ll go and investigate on Google to see what I can find about cats like Fluff. Maybe I’d have been better doing that five years ago. Never let it be said that I’m a little slow off the mark lol.

    Thanks again. I’ll let you know what I find. I feel better even just getting it all off my chest, so next time you’re having a cuppa just remind yourself that it comes with my thanks - via the internet.

    Cheers, Topsy.

  22. mmMekitty
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    19 October 2021 in reply to topsy_

    Hi Topsy,

    Apparently a cat is considered to enter their old age at around 7 years. I was beginning to check out what food was for the older cat when Mekitty died. She did like the wiskas too. I looked at the pack, & noticed it seemed to have less fat, but, lol, didn't check the salt! My vet had not mentioned that, but of-course, cats are mammals & can suffer the same conditions as we do from any part of our diet being poor. AS I think about it, NOW, I wonder why it was not something the vet went into more carefully. Don't they check if the animals they see might have high blood pressure, likely brought on by salt in the diet? They do check for heart & lung, . function, look in eyes & ears, even, (poor Mekitty) check the body temperature.

    Have you given any thought to asking RSPCA if they could help with the vet checks/treatments you are struggling to afford right now?

    Mekitty was a kitten when I brought her into my life. If she had already been an adult, she would have come with a history of experiences. I can't help but wonder what it would be like for a cat in a shelter for two years. For all I know, Mekitty only spent a week or at most, six weeks, I guess. She might have even been weaned early. Your Fluffy had a long time in the shelter, other cats, lots of noise, I don't know. Then, what were the conditions at your daughter's place? How different to your place? Any of this could have something to do with Fluffy's behaviour.

    I suppose you brush her? Mekitty could have done with more brushing than she would allow. She wouldn't sit up next to me, wouldn't let me hold her, but when I was at my PC she would wedge herself between my lower back & the back rest of my office chair.

    Instead of using purpose built scratching posts, she seemed happier using those reusable, hessian shopping bags. We played with those, too, the green ones, blue ones, all colours. She would (so it seemed) make an effort to sit wholly within the size of the bag when it was on the floor. She would deliberately nose one open more, & get inside. Of-course I teased her from the outside.

    Eventually I found a 2-seater sofa, with wide arms, & a back she could walk along. I hoped she would sit with me, but no. She would sit, backed into the far corner. I made temporary tents so she could have a quiet place to he--rself. She seemed to like that very much. I might tease her a little, there, but would then let her be,, & usually, find her still there hours later.

    mmMekitty

  23. Croix
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    25 October 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Dear mmMekitty and all

    You mentioned "I made temporary tents so she could have a quiet place to he--rself"

    We don't have to, the clothes horse in front of the fire makes a most excellent cat tent as generations of cats will attest. The only fly in the ointment was NastyCat used to think it also would make a good vantage point from the top and try to climb up, a self-defeating exercise, the more she scrabbled up the clothes to the top, the more they slid off.

    I expect she thought we arranged that on purpose just to annoy her. Sumo Cat on the other hand just sits quietly underneath and watches the world of feet going by.

    Croix

  24. mmMekitty
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    25 October 2021 in reply to Croix

    Hello Croix,

    I am happy to see you are back! 😺

    I left a post on your Thread "Croix Parlour", next to Demonblaster, who has missed you, too.

    I hope you got some pictures of 'nasty' cat. That would have been so funny, unless 'nasty' cat's claws got caught in the clothes & tore them to ribbons.

    I used lightweight blankets, draped over the back of my sofa, or chair, leaving a gap so she could go in & out without wrecking the tent.

    Have you got any ideas to help with Topsy's 'nasty' cat? Please, read the few preceding posts.

    Back soon 🐾 🐾🐾 🐾🐾 🐾🐾 🐾⛺

    mmMekitty

  25. Croix
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    26 October 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Dear mmMekitty (with a wave to Topsy)~

    To answer your question in Croix Parler (Parler=talk) Nasty Cat passed away after around 20 years of ill-temper from old age, but no pictures of her climbing, we were too busy trying to 'unhook' her and stop her!

    Sumo tried the dodge of being a fussy eater, no need as he only was 'nice hungry', having a dispenser of cat biscuits there all the time to graze on. Mrs C tried a number of (expensive) foods, only for him to turn his nose up the second time. Mrs C got around that in the end by leaving the food in a dish and turning it over when Sumo announced he was peckish. This fooled him and eats away happily.

    I guess any reasonable food will do, salt or no salt, and I'm not sure how much you can draw a parallel between animal and human ailments. Good treatment (including baths:) seems to be the key.

    I know time spent in the pound when young can be very formative, with insecurity and jealousy becoming a life long habit. Even a traumatic incident later on involving another dog turned Zeppelin Dog's nature to aggression towards all dogs, before that she was amiable and socialized.

    As a result I'm not that surprised at Fluff's behaviour. I'm not sure what to suggest though except maybe not pander to the constant in/out demands. I've had generations of dogs want to have a personal door-person, I put a metal plate on the back door to protect it, if they ask go out it is no good scratching to come back in straight away unless it is bad weather. They are fine and snug in the shed anyway if they want.

    Croix

  26. mmMekitty
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    27 October 2021 in reply to Croix

    I tried giving Mekitty a bath when she was still a kitten, mostly because I found some very nice smelly shampoo for cats, but I wish I had some guidance about how to do it, because it was a disaster.

    She freaked out & clawed her way over my shoulder & down my back (I had thought to wear a thin sleeveless top , knowing I would get wet(, leaving scratches all the way! Poor little kitty. She hid under my bed for a couple hours, until I brought her out.

    I thought, okay, but you'd better clean yourself, Mekitty, or I will have to get some professional pet groomer to help. Turned out, she was very good at cleaning herself. I praised & petted her when I saw her doing it, too. I think that helped. 😸Sometimes she let me brush her, but not a lot. She shed everywhere, though. She apparently had a double coat. When the weather was very hot, I would get a damp cloth & rub it over her. She didn't like it much, but, it was so hot.

    All I knew is how I felt better when I took a cool shower, on those days. So I tied to just cool her off a little during the hottest time of the day. Too bad she wasn't interested in stepping right into the shower with me. I don't think she liked the noise. She would leave the area when I showered, often only to be sitting at the back door, as if waiting for me to come out again.

    I'm always grateful we humans don't have to clean ourselves using the same method! Indeed, I don't think I could manage at all...not nearly as flexible as would be necessary at the best of times.

    Croix, you & Mrs C must have been doing something right; 20years is quite old indeed.

    How are you, Topsy? I've been hoping to hear from yo.

    mmMekitty

  27. Croix
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    27 October 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Dear mmMeKity~

    "Croix, you & Mrs C must have been doing something right; 20years is quite old indeed."

    Actually we are considerably older than that - pity.

    I guess wiht our dogs they just had to put up with baths, no choice. Never used a hose, only buckets of warm water. With cats had mixed success. I seem to remember kittens in shallow plain tepid water seemed to go down OK, when they came to us later in life a bit of a problem getting them used to it

    A damp flannel on a hot day might be the best compromise as you suggest in those cases.

    Did I mention

    https://librivox.org

    as a source of free audiobooks? Probably, but forgotten :(

    Croix

  28. mmMekitty
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    27 October 2021 in reply to Croix

    Oh, 'Walrus Whiskers', I know you are older, even than me, I suspect. I meant 20 years is old for cats, even domesticated, I believe.

    & you likely did mention the link. I forgot anyway, so thanks for the reminder. If I don't forget again, because now I need to take a break. I know, it feels too early to be wanting to sleep, but I am awfully tired.

    I've noticed you around a few threads, & you have given valuable feedback & advice. It is so good to have you here on BB.

    Later, maybe. 🙀💤mmMekitty

  29. Croix
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    28 October 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Dear mmMekitty~

    "Walrus Whiskers" indeed! The younger generation is getting dead cheeky.

    Well, you are right about one thing, I am rather old, after all Sir John Tenniel drew my portrait in 1871, though I must admit I did not sit for it <👀>>.

    Thanks for the compliment BTW, talking with others helps me too.

    Croix

  30. mmMekitty
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    28 October 2021 in reply to Croix

    & you're longer in the tooth, too, than me, &, I trust you polish them every day, just like me, eh? Do I hear an accent in your typing?

    As I get older, & grumpier, I intend to also become more & more cheeky.

    😺🎶tip-tow🎶🌷🌷🌷🎶 ...

    Wonder if I can get a 💈 & a customer? mmMe will give old-fashioned traditional service to anybody, whether they ask or not! 😼

    mmMekitty

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