Topic: Loss of identity, independence and withdrawn

Hello Goldwing03 Thank you for your comforting post. Things will have to get better and they have. Since Ive been back on my medication, Ive been alot calmer. Things dont bother me as much as they used to. Admittedly I feel tired alot, but that does not bother me as much. Im lonely. Ive only got my friend and carer. If it were not thru him, Id end up in a nursing home. I wont last long in them as I dread them. I trust Jesus wont do that to me. Once again, thank you for your lovely post and may God Bless You Desr Goldwing.🙏😘Chunty

Hi Chunty,

I’m brand new to this forum and can’t work out how to find your original post on this thread, but my heart goes out to you.

How awful for you to be treated this way by a supposed psychic.
I get how you turned to them for help, because I did exactly the same. Except I saw a psychic in person.
she told me all sorts of things, most importantly that spinal surgery that I was about to have would be very successful, and I would feel much better, and that my pain would decrease significantly.
In other words she told me what I needed to hear…. You guessed it, none of what she said came to fruition. I woke up from the surgery unable to move my legs, with worse pain than ever.
Following the surgery I spent almost six months in hospital, and thankfully learned how to walk again, albeit with a walker.

Enough about me, I just really wanted to say how sorry I was that you were treated so badly when you really needed help.

Hang in there Chunty… I truly Ho things improve for you

Hope 🌷

Hi Hope 777. It is nice to hear from you. You understand hoe desperate we get and turn to these psychics for help.Ive been taught a lesson many times but still look for them. After this last one, Im controlling myself and not walk into the same trap. They honestly cant predict the future and tell yoou what you want to hear. Ive wasted quite a bit of money on them. This psychic said she was a healer, ans she insisted on doing a healing on me when I wanted a reading. I told her that I have a terminal illness and that my mhcles and cells are ceasing up, she wouldnt listen but insisted that I had a healthy past life and I could bring that healthy life into this life. I felt no different, the pain and discomfort was still here. She took $50.00, when normally she charged $120.00. Honestly I thew that $50.00 down the drain, as I did not feel any better. I was still stupid enough to ask her for a reading. I sent numerous text messages with my questions and a photo which she requested, but she never bothered to reply. When I rang her she was so rude and dismissive, said she didnt know me and refused to do the reading. She said she deleted all my text messages. A few days after she text me and asked if I wanted a reading. She said she couldnt find her phone and the battery went flat. I emailed her and refused. She stil texed me, but I ignored her.So you see hope these psyics prey on vulnerable people like us. You certainly got taken in too. All i wanted to know was if i willspend ghe rest of my life in my own house, but I dont think she would have helped. I can walk only 2 0r 3 steps wiith a walker. The rest of the time Im stuck in a recliner chair. Im sorry to hear of hour experience. How are you now?Can you walk? Thank you for sharing your experience with me. You must have felt cheated. Anyway it was nice to hear from you. Please do keep in touch. That is if you want to. Chunty

Dear Petal 22 Been thinking about you and your comforting post. Ive been abit down when I realize my body is slow but sure going downhill. I get so frustrated because I cant do thi gs for myself and having to ask others to help me all the time. I cant walk to the kitchen or bathroom anymore. I have to have the potty and walker close to my recliner chair. I need help to go to bed. It suddenly all hit me. I want to stay at home and I pray and ask Jesus to let me stay home for the rest of my life. Nursing homes freak me out. I know Jesus won,t let me down. I love him and trust him completely. Merryweather has been a darling. I hope you are keeping well you must be a wonderful mum. How many children do you have? God Bless You Dear Petal, Chunty🙏🙏🙂🙂😻😻🍒🍒🍇🍇

Hi Quirkyword. I have been withdrawn since Ive been disabled. People just don,t have time for you when you become useless, so I just give up and contact thru the intenet. People make me tired and you have to have alot of energy to give, which I dont. Then when they see you they drain you with their problems. My brothers are famous for that. It just gets too much. Drop us a line that is if you want to. I like getting messages. All the best to you. Chunty😉🍎🍍

Hi Chunty 😻

Lovely to hear from you….

I understand it must be hard for you to not be able to do the things you used to do and have to ask others for help……….. no matter what your body is doing Chunty your still you! Your still you inside your body still the same light there always has been…..

Thats lovely you have such a strong faith Chunty it will get you far….

I have two beautiful children 😇 I’m very blessed…..I try my best to be a great mum and I can see how wonderful my children are so I think I’m doing a ok😊

Im glad your MerryWeather looks after you……. It’s a great name….

Thanks Chunty 🙏🦋🌺😇

Hello all you lovely people, I just want to see how you all are keeping. There is not much going for me, as im stuck in a recliner, wheelchair or bed. I keep myself entertained with the intenet and listening to Christian meditation which calms me down. The long weekend is here again..I bet you all have something nice to do. Its good being in the community forum as i cant get over that there are nice people around. I dont have family support and all my friends have dissapeared since Ive been sick. I wish you all the best and have anice holiday. Look forward to hear from someone, no pressure but it is nice Chunty

Hi Hope 777 I stillmtend to weaken with thecpsychic ads. but I hvve msde a strong decision to resist them. I do it thru despersation as Im lonely, no friends and nil fsmily support. I have really concentrated on God and the Rapture. I ham also using Christian meditations and prayers on the intenet. Iits good to get comments and replies from other people. It keeps me in contact with the outside world. Its amazing how one byb one friends disappear when i got sick and disabled My 2 brothers have got their eyes on my assets and property and probably cant wait till i pass on. Its horrible but it is like it in so many familys. Enough of my rsving, how have you been Hope777. Yours was a very interesting post. Take care and GodcBless You Chunty

Hi Petal 22. Ive been thinking about you snd wondering how you are going. You have always been supportive for me and I appreciate it very much. Im still plodding along. My medicstion has helped me and I can cope with my problems alot better. My friend snd carer has been good to me and my darling cat gives me joy and comfort. I put my fsith in Jesus and Im blessed as he is always by my side. I deal with the pain with medication and my breathlessnes with special drops. I trust Jesus to look after me and I know he wont let me down. Nothing exciting. I try to find little things that are positive to make me happy. You take care Dear Petal and God Bless You😻😍

Hi Chunty,

Lovely to hear from you, I’m good thanks 😊

Im so glad to hear your medication is helping you 😊

That’s nice that your friend and carer have been good to you…., it must be nice to see your friend……. Your cat sounds beautiful.

Im glad that you have medication to help you with your pain.

Its so nice that you have such a strong faith in Jesus ❤️🙏

I think it’s great that you look for things that are positive to make you happy…… I often practice gratefulness which is really nice and helps with my mind set…

Have a lovely day/night 😊🌺🦋

Hi all you lovely beings who have communicated with me. I was looking thru the posts and it hit me hard on what caring wonderful people you all are. I'm Ok ,I've resigned to the fact that I've only got my friend and carer who is looking after me. I'm grateful to him, as I would have ended up in a nursing home which I'm terrified of and my Darling Cat Merryweather who is my pride and joy. Since I've been back on the medication, I've been calmer and coping as best as I can. I realize and accept the fact that since I've been sick ,friends have disappeared and my family have never been supportive of me. It doesn't worry me anymore as I have got Jesus in my life. I have faith and trust Hevwill look after me and my 2companions. I have raved on slot. I would love to hear from you,, that is if you want to. Take care Dear people and may God Bless You 💗😊💥🙏 You Allxx

Hi Chunty,

Thank you so much for your kind words 😊

Im glad that your friend and carer are looking after you and your beautiful cat.

Im glad your medication has helped you it must feed good to be calmer.

Im sorry that some of your friends have disappeared since you have been sick. I understand that this would have been hard to accept, but I’m so glad that you have Jesus in your life 🙏

I guess we realise who are true friends are in our life’s..

Please chat to us anytime Chunty…… I enjoy our little chats, in life I enjoy making someone else’s day just for them to realise that there are caring loving people out there ❤️🙏

Hello Petal22 How are you?,I'm very happy to get your messages. It's so nice to get a response. No one else relays tome and I wonder if I've said something wrong. I do enjoy our little chats. You are a very thoughtful person and I appreciate it a lot.I'm waiting for my friend to come give me my medication and put me to bed. I got a lot of pain at the moment and will be glad to go to bed. I'm say goodnight and may God Bless You Dear Petal. You are one car ring Lady. Chunty

Hi Chunty

I'm so glad the medication's made some positive difference to you. Pain is such a terrible mind altering thing at times. To have your faith is so important. It can help with perspective. Actually, many years ago I used to carry around a key ring with the letters 'WWJD?', a reminder of not 'What would I do?' in this situation but 'What Would Jesus Do?'.

Fair weather friends can be such a challenge, disappearing when things get too stormy or too difficult. People who don't have the ability to face a challenge with us are questionable. Cats are definitely a whole other story. Can recall having a cat some years ago who, for me, was a life saver. It's like she just knew when I was having a deeply depressing day. She'd show up and just love me. There's something incredibly special about animals.

Was talking to my daughter just the other day about a cat who tends to hang around our house a lot, pretty much full time. We found out she lives just down the road and only returns home for food. We discovered she first felt put out when her carers brought a kitten and a puppy into their household. She came to us kind of like a miracle. Last year, with my daughter beginning to struggle through VCE and lockdowns here in Melbourne, she wished for a cat and within that week this cat showed up. Personally, I wished we didn't have the expense of a cat. Due to complications with the previous 2 cats, combined we'd spent over $7000 on them. I got my wish too. What is even more amazing is this cat is the spitting image of the one I'd loved so much, a cat of quite a unique appearance.

I love miracles Chunty. I see them everywhere, in just about everything. While some people mock me a little while saying 'You look into stuff too much, seeing miracles in just about everything', I say 'Is there a problem with that?'. In my opinion, no problem at at all. How can we find the magic in life if we're not looking for it?

:)

Hi Petal 22 Just a short note to see if you are alright. I was happy to hear from one of the other members, but I will get back to her as I have to go to the doctor as I have got a boil. Well do take care of yourself Petal and heres hoping you are ok. I do miss not hearing from you as I enjoy our little chats. Chunty🤗🙏

Hi Chunty,

Thanks for checking in with me 😊 I’m good 🙂

I hope that your doctors appointment goes well.

How have you been? I hope your cat merryweather is also doing well…. Great name for your cat love it 🥰

Hello Petal, Glad to hear your ok. I tend to worry and think of he worst sometimes. The doctor has put me on ant biotics for 10 days for my boil. He can,t help me with my breathing as my respitory muscles are slowly getting weaker and there is no cure. Never mind. I leave my life in God,s hands. No use worrying about it. Im enjoying the warmer weather, better than shivering. Merryweather sleeps all day and plays up at niight, running around and scratching. Am sure happy to hear from you and keep well. God Bless You. Chunty🙏🙏😹😹

Hello Therising. Am so happy to hear from you. I believe in miracles too. When something nice happens, or when you get help from someone,that is a miracle. I think its far better to be a person with depth than one who is materlistic and shallow. I found that not only did the medicstion help, but that it is the work of the Holy Spirit in you. Yes I have been alot calmer, my only frustration is that I cant do things myself and get impatient. I just pray and trust Jesus that I dont end up in a nursing home. I have faith that I wont. Yes I love cats very much. They are very sensitive animals and they can sense when something is not right. My darling Merryweather is naughty,sleeps during the day and plays up at night. Yes vet bills can be expensive and I believe you when you say you spent $7,000. Its amazing how the pussycat comes to your doorstep. Are you still working in aged care? Do you get depressed sometimes. I know the workload is heavy. My Aunty was put in a nursing home by her daughter and in a few short months she has gone downhill. That happened to my mother too as my brother refused to help look after her. I would have looked after her but I got sick myself. You can understand why I hate nursing homes. I admire you working in one. I guess someone got to do it. You being intuitive, must pick up alot of what happens.Ive raved on alot. Im really pleased to hear from you. Its nice getting little messages. Do take care and thank you for your most wecome message. God Bless🙏🙏😘🐱😻🤩🍎🤗

Heloo Therising, I was browsing thru other threads and post and I felt I should commend you on your versality and knowledge. You are a very deep and insightful individual, allways willing to help others in need. Did you study at uni or studied psychology as your posts come acrosss as very intellectual and make alot of sense. You come across as a very kind giving person, willkng to help and analyze other people,s difficulties and situations. I do admire your initiative. Good on you. I wish I have the motivation, knowledge and insight that you posess. You are indeed a valued contributer to the community. Chunty

Hi Chunty

You are so incredibly kind, thank you for your thoughtful message :)

Yes, I still work in aged care. I actually started where I'm at now just over 3 years ago after experiencing quite a number of years out of the workforce, in order to work in raising my kids and help my mum. I work in the kitchen there. I actually worked in aged care in my 20s as well (I'm now 51). I love being a part of an industry where both the staff and residents are thoughtful and caring. I much prefer serving conscious and considerate people rather than serving a percentage of the public that I know will trigger me in a number of ways.

I suppose I developed my 'I just have to know' or my wonder attitude when I first came out of 15 or so years in depression, around the age of 35. I wonder how my brain works, how my body works and how I work on a soulful level. I wonder how other people naturally work too. I wonder about what leads things to go so wrong at times for myself and others. I suppose what I've come to learn so far is partly through having developed the curiosity of a child. I've had a few people suggest to me the route of psychology. I suppose I don't pursue it partly based on my lack of stamina when it comes to the study and commitment it would take. You never know, maybe I'll feel passionately driven to take it up in the future. I'll keep an open mind.

I've come to observe over the years how prone sensitive/deeply feeling people are to mental health challenges. If we're sensitive enough to feel our thoughts, to feel our lack of direction, to feel the pain of others, to feel our triggers, to feel the depressing/degrading or stressful nature of others and feel their words or their actions and even their inaction in some cases, etc then I believe our challenges can be great at times. For some years I wondered why I occasionally felt myself returning to depression, it was confirmation through a spiritual coach I know which provided clarity on this. I can recall saying to her something along the lines of 'Every time I can sense myself entering into what feels like a depression, is this me feeling myself in a challenge I need to master?' She smiled and nodded in acknowledgement. So, these days it's become a matter of 'What is the challenge I'm feeling?', instead of asking 'Why am I becoming depressed?' Some challenges hold some undeniably sad elements. I believe it's in the nature of a sensitive person to grieve over certain things, in order to gradually move forward.

Hi Therising, Im ususally want to withdraw, but Im reaching out  because I actually feel depressed. Im in so much pain that it is draining my soul. The painkillers just take the edges off. Im stuck in a chair always having to wait when I need something and it is so frustrating. I dont know what to do. I dont particularly want to go back to hosptial as its not much fun. Being a BPD Im also battling with rejection and abandonment, so Im facing 2 challenges at once. I try to give of myself alot to others inspite of the perdicament that Im in, mainly to avoid rejection and the need to feel accepted. Actually I dont like myself. You seem to be a very unselfish person and you have alot of insight into other people,s needs and feelings. I function along those lines too. I am so knave at times that I had a cousin, who took advantage of me in my vulnerable state and was planning to cheat me. I gave her so much support with her problems and she was scheming and evil..I soon woke up to her and wiped her out of my life. Im not perfect, I can be ruthless and I have deleted people from my life who have ulterior motives. Honestly my cat gives more to me than humans and her love is unconditional. I admire you working in aged care. Its a very hard work and you sound like a compassionate kind of person. You also know what depression is all about. Il go now and I thank you very much for replying to me. Please dont think Im being manipulative, I always have this fear that I may be manipulting people. I tend to read alot into things. Well bye Dear Therising and thank you. I feel Ive had an indepth post to you:)🙏🤗

Hi Chunty

You've nothing to be concerned about for in no way do I find you manipulative. You're a very open and honest person :) It's always refreshing to connect with people such as yourself.

Waking up to people can be a tough process at times, that's for sure. I've found it's kind of like being asleep to people and then, bamm, you get some big psychological slap and finally wake up. Then you're kind of left to wonder 'Have they always been a bit that way and I've been asleep through the whole relationship?' In some cases I've found waking up to certain people to be somewhat depressing. It can even leave you feeling a bit ripped off, 'Why do I have to do the hard work in coming to terms with such a depressing nature, in another? Why can't they do some of the hard work when it comes to being more conscious, more thoughtful?' I've found, in the quest to better understand people there can be a lot of questions. Like with yourself, it's in my nature to read into things. I find you get a lot of answers this way. Sometimes those answers involve hits and sometimes misses. Reading and mastering sensing exactly what you're reading takes practice. Don't give up practicing. Practice makes perfect :)

Physical pain can be so mind altering, so depressing at times. My mum lives with pain every day, it's just a matter of the intensity of it. With her having a lot of specialists in her employment, there have been occasions where she's said 'I feel my whole life is about pain and appointments'. I think it's easy to lose sight of the fact that sometimes we can identify our self through our experiences. So, in her case, 'I am someone who has nothing but pain and appointments'. It's at these times where I show her who she really is. If I bestow on her the identify of 'Food critic', we go out to taste a meal, for example. Lockdowns here in Melbourne have been challenging for her, not being able to get out, to be someone different from who she sees herself as. Being at home doesn't necessarily stop us though. I may bestow on her the identify of 'Speaker of absolute nonsense'. We speak nonsense to the point where it's laughable. The world can appear far too serious and even depressing at times Chunty. One of the ways I manage my mental health is through occasionally indulging in nonsense :)

Do you ever question the doctors who don't provide you with enough avenues regarding pain relief? Do you feel they should be better detectives, finding what would make a difference?

Hello Therising, How you been keeping? I hope you are feeling better than I am. Im a fed up, just existing. Stuck in a chair and dependent on others for my needs. I feel so guilty being alive and a burden to my carer and friend and to society. Sometimes I feel ok and cope and other times just plain fed up. I feel lonely as all the so call friends I have are all gone. One friend expects my carer to drive 4 25 minite trips back and forth to pick her up to come and see me.She cant ask her son to help her. I couldnt do that to a person. I have nothing to do with my brothers as they are just evil I wont go on dear one as Im not feeling very positive. I just want to let you know that Ive been thinking of you and your encouraging post. Take care and God Bless You. Chunty🙏😥

Hello Petal 22. How have you been. Just been thinkig about you as I consider you as my pen friend. I dont have any friends or family support. Thank goodness for the internet and Merryweather. To be honest Im feeling abit down and fed up. I try my very best to be positive, but itis hard at times. All my so call friends are gone since Ive been sick.There is nothing much I can say except that I do think of you and hope you and your children are well.God Bless🙏🙏😥

Hi Chunty,

Im good 😊 how are you?

I understand sometimes we get a bit fed up….. when I feel that way I try to change my mindset by thinking of all of the things I’m grateful for 😊

Meditation is great for just calming the mind… I did a nice one last night it was one about being at the beach…. I really felt like I was there… meditation is amazing 😻 maybe you could find a nice calming beach meditation or nature something you enjoy 😊

Hi Chunty

Wondering who else you have who comes to see you. Is there someone who comes to offer Communion? Also wondering what led you to choose Merryweather's name. I do wonder a lot :)

Sometimes I think about that angel on one shoulder and so called 'devil' on the other scenario. I can remember some years ago seeing this brought to life in an Abbot and Costello movie. Don't know why that sticks in my head. What are some of the things you hear from the angel side? I find this side doesn't just offer all happy positive stuff. It can offer some serious challenges too. I imagine one of those challenges for you might have sounded a little like 'You need to stop being depressed by your family and instead work on having less to do with them'. I think sometimes the people closest to us can be the most depressing. As I've mentioned before, it's like one day you just wake up to certain people and become quite shocked by their behaviour, sometimes being left to think 'How did I not see that before?'.

Do you have Netflix or Foxtel or something like that? Personally, I can't tolerate free to air tv these days. I can't help but wonder whatever happened to quality entertainment. A lot of the good shows are on at some insane hour incredibly late at night, way past my bedtime :)

I'm a big believer in us all being here for a reason. It's like we're gifted to life on earth in some way. I think we can spend a lifetime in a form of ebb and flow, knowing what our reason is (our purpose) and then at times not knowing. In and out, knowing, not knowing, constantly (unless you've got some deep sense of inner knowing that never leaves you). The not knowing times can feel so deeply challenging.

Hello therising. Its been a long time since I made contact. I have been having alot of stresses or challenges that confronted me which results in me feeling sick and intense pain. Somehow through Jesus,s help and mercy Im surviving. Yes I wonder why Im on this earth for too. I agree with you thecAngels tell us to keep away from people that cause depression, but I have no choice. I got no one else. I dot know what lesson I have to learn but I think I have to trust Jesus more. He has helped me though through thick and thin. I have been praying alot and that keeps me going. Im going to spend a quiet Christmas, just my carer and Merryweather. That name was given to her by the shelter we got her from. New Years Eve will be a year since we got her. She has doubled her size. She was skin and bonne with rotten teeth when we first got her . Now she is a beautful looking pussycat. I pray to Jesus to keep her in good health. I guess you will be spending Christmas with your family. I wish you and your family have a Happy and Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year.😊🙏🍎🍍🍌😋

Hello all you lovely people. I just want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year.I hope that you all will have a good year.God Bless You All. Chunty🙂🙏🍎🍍🍌

Hi Chunty

You are so thoughtful. To you I also wish the best for Christmas and the new year ahead and I wish the same for Merryweather as well as your lovely carer. I may have mentioned how I'm led to smile when I think of Merryweather's name and the fact that she stays faithful to you in the stormy times when fair weather friends have not been so faithful during such times. It's like the powers that be have said 'I will give you merry weather for every day, no matter what, no matter how dark and stormy things get'. It sounds like you've brought a lot of sunshine and peace into her life, given what her life was like before she met you. You're her angel on earth.

When I think of prayer what comes to mind is the 'Footprints In The Sand' poem. Every time I read this it brings a tear to my eye. I imagine you've read it or heard of it. The thought that we are never alone, no matter what, is one of great consolation. One of the things I've discovered over the years is an open mind creates a channel for guidance, whereas a closed mind makes it harder for guidance to come in. It's so hard to create a constructive positive open channel when overwhelming challenge fully occupies the mind. I can relate to what you mean about trust. I've lost count of the amount of times over the years where on occasion I've lost trust, where I've felt hopeless and then some heavenly miraculous revelation comes to mind leading me to proclaim 'I'm never going to lose faith or trust again'. Then some overwhelming challenge comes up, with no immediate solution in tow and I forget to seek guidance or imagine it's just not there. I smile when I imagine some guardian angel beside me (during my faithless times) rolling their eyes, smacking their forehead and shaking their head in disbelief and frustration, before proclaiming 'You're unbelievable. Haven't you learned yet, you are always free to create a channel for guidance'. Perhaps it's a matter of practice. As they say, practice makes perfect. I suppose the lesson comes down to not just practicing 2 way channels of prayer/meditation for guidance in the good times but practicing them in the tough times too, so that they become a natural part of the tough times.

Can recall in one of my meditations for guidance something quite profound which came to mind, 'You are allowed to feel sorry/sorrow for yourself. There is nothing wrong with grieving over a lost sense of self. Just don't get stuck in that sorrow. Getting stuck is the problem' :)

Hi Petal 22 Its been awhile since we,re made contact. Im not having an easy time. Besides trying to cope with my physical problems, I have to deal wth the depression as well. Im lonely, with the exception of my carer and my darling cat Merryweather whom I love dearly. How have you been keeping? and how is your family. Ive just got so much hassels going on that Im fed up and wish I did not have to depend on anyone for my needs. Its a horrible feeling of obligation and guilt. I pray alot, sometimes too much till I make myself feel sick. My Chistmas is going to be very quiet you know Petal22 some people drain me and upset me. I dont know where to reach out or who to trust. Il go now. I just want to wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and God,s blessings. My carer from Helping Hand will be here soon to change me for the night. I hope to have a longer chat with you soon. Ii have been thinking of you. God Bless Chunty🙏🙏😑😑