I'd like to join Golden82 in welcoming you here. Maybe a bit of a milestone to start to seek out assistance to undo the harm your parents caused. Parents are such power and authority figures to their children they can do immeasurable good, but sadly here great harm.
To be picked on and reviled injures, maybe not the body, but the mind. Unfortunately human beings, particularly children, tend to end up believing all the horrible negative things they are told, and really suffer from the lack of the love they should have been given.
I guess I'll try to give you logic -though I doubt you will truly believe it right now. As a single mum you have not only raised two children , which is a hard full time job in itself, but have managed not to do the things your parents did.
I found my family did not love me in the slightest, and I used them as a role model, whatever they had done I mage great efforts not to do when I became a parent. Actually quite difficult as I did not have the example of good parenting, but all turned out fine.
I guess you must have been in much the same boat and nevertheless have raised two fine adult children. By now I strongly suspect you would know they are not just wearing masks, but are actually healthy people.
So how excellent is that!
Now that your kids are adults you have time to look after you. May I suggest a couple of things? My apologies if you have already started down there paths.
First as a person who has been the subject of child abuse or neglect contact 1800RESPECT - 1800 737 73.
They are the experts in this field and can give you advice and maybe point out resources there for you. Very realistic, experienced and can be a real comfort.
The other thing is to see your GP and explain your feelings and how this has affected your life. See what happens then. If you think it would be hard to explain face to face then take a couple of days to write everything down in point form and share the paper during a long consultation.
This is what I have done at times, it makes everything easier for me, and gives the doctor a clearer picture.
You know Brenda this is a safe place where most have had very hard times, which makes for kindness and understanding, NOT judgment.
You are welcome here whenever you like and can talk about anything you wish. I look forward to seeing you again