Hi SkellyBB,
Just wanted to say hello and welcome you to the BB forums. I'm really glad that you are here and opening up about what's going on for you. It does sound very overwhelming! From what I've reading you've had to go through a hell of a lot of stress in such a short time. I'm really glad you decided to reach out to the free counsellors though; hopefully they can offer you some support.
You did talk about feeling like you've failed as a Mum, is that still there? While I'm not a Mum myself, I know that there are so many Mum's out there who have had to be in the same boat too - for not fault of their own not being with their baby straightaway. Not immediately being with your baby doesn't make you a failure - it's the fact that you wanted to be with your baby and are with your baby now that makes you a great mum. Hopefully other mums will jump in here and offer some reassurance too.
I do hope that you find some support within these forums. Feel free to post around or browse around if you like.
rt